"not very lady like"

[Gifgaf]

I've always thought of myself as quite feminine but I am not exactly a soft speaker all the time and with my DH we have unique humour with each other and I occasionally swear.

However, for a while now my DH keeps making references at me that I am not speaking "very lady like". I never thought of it that deep before but now it's starting to make me feel insecure and I don't want to be that woman who swears a lot and have worked to stop but I just have a certain kind of personality and it's who I am.

Don't really know how to act anymore ...

Is it the farting?

Is he not just being funny / sarcastic maybe ?

I said "arse" earlier & my daughter said "language Timothy"

Sounds to me he was just having a little joke with you.

The question is - to whom is he suddenly comparing you so unfavourably? 🤔

Who knows what he would think of me then 😂

At first I took it as a joke but it's all the time now. I never felt the need to change before but now it's a constant thing and it's making me feel weird ...

It's not just the way I speak but also little comments here and there of how I look. I am very much in "mum mode" and don't always look at Glamour's as I maybe did prior to kids but it's got me feeling strange and more insecure.

Ladylike is one of those old fashioned misogynistic words that were used to keep women down and in their place OP. I hope your dh isn't using it like that, but that's its origins. There's no need to be ladylike in this day and age. It's great that you speak freely!

Tell him to fuck off and see how he reacts 😀

The nit picking would concern me as well. Keep a close eye on it and maybe ask him who he's comparing you to all of a sudden.

He does make a lot of misogynistic comments and it's hard to tell if he's joking or trying to get on my nerves. I usually tell him what I think straight after which I why I don't sound very "lady like" whatever that means...

I do and he turned to say how nasty I sound

I was raised by my mum and dad who both swore.
I swear, so bad if I'm annoyed or frustrated.
I want to stop so bad, I asked the children to tell me if so I'm aware of it and then I can take it from there.

Nothing had worked 😩

I don't know what it has to do with being lady like. Swearing a lot isn't nice full stop. But I'm interested to know if he swears a lot? If so I'd be pointing out the double standard.

I think it would be an interesting thing to see how much I swear, probably more than I think.

Try “that’s not very gentlemanly” or “that’s not very manly” on him. I suspect he’ll soon stop.

Don't really know how to act anymore ...

Bollocks to that. You don’t act, you just be. Yourself. Your perfect, natural self.

It's not just the way I speak but also little comments here and there of how I look.

That was rather my point. Why is he suddenly so dissatisfied with you if he wasn’t before? What, or more pertinently who has turned his head??

How can a woman ever not be very 'lady like' however she's speaking? You're a 'lady' so however you speak or act is 100% 'lady like'. Unless of course he's imposing some mysogenistic idea of what a woman is onto you.

He’s undermining you - tell him you have clocked this, and he needs to stop unless he wants to damage his marriage.

Ladylike is a load of nonsense - for whatever reason (even if dressed up as a joke) he’s putting you down. I hope it’s an isolated thing, but make sure it is.

It's not just the way I speak but also little comments here and there of how I look.

How you look? What do you mean?

I'll be honest, from what you've written so far, your husband sounds like a misogynistic idiot.

A ‘lady’ is a daft term.

It’s a way of putting women back in their boxes

Why are you married to a man who makes a lot of misogynistic comments?

Tell him he doesn't fuck you like a real man does and see how he likes that.

I am the same. I am not some serial swear addict but I do it occasionally but I don't think I used vulgar words to sound so nasty. It's even worse because he swears himself/ does and says a lot of things that make him no better than me. I have tried and would like to stop but I am not the best at controlling my emotions..

Well then he sounds like a dick. Maybe ask him to be a bit more of a man and stop talking like that.