"not very lady like"

[Gifgaf]

I've always thought of myself as quite feminine but I am not exactly a soft speaker all the time and with my DH we have unique humour with each other and I occasionally swear.

However, for a while now my DH keeps making references at me that I am not speaking "very lady like". I never thought of it that deep before but now it's starting to make me feel insecure and I don't want to be that woman who swears a lot and have worked to stop but I just have a certain kind of personality and it's who I am.

Don't really know how to act anymore ...

If he wants you to act and look ladylike, whatever that means, I understand that he has at least as high expectations of himself of looking like and acting as a gentleman? ;).
How would a gentleman act towards his 6 months pregnant partner who works, looks after the house and children and is tired and feels burnt out?
Stay calm and call him out on his bs. Put some expectations on him.

He sounds like a sexist prick op. I'm not sure what other diagnosis there is!

Bless you. I’m sorry. It’s obviously not really about this, it’s just the icing on the cake.

Line your ducks up and organise him out of your life. It will be easier than putting up with him.

Ladylike! Who cares? No such thing. Hate that phrase. Be you. Your husband is a turd. 💩

Make a negative comment about his masculinity. See how he likes it.

Lady is a stick to beat women with. Some women qualify, some women don't . It's a terrible concept. Don't be lady-like. Be a decent person.

I’ll be honest, OP, he sounds awful. I don’t think you should be putting the emphasis on yourself to change. In your position I’d tell him his behaviour needs to change dramatically or it’s over.

You sound fab, by the way, and don’t let him convince you otherwise.

Is it? I just thought it was the opposite of uncouth? If you say a man is being ungentlemanly, is that misandristic?

🤣🤣

I would say the above. I would also tell him his comments are controlling and abusive.

If he doesn't stop (but not only stop with the nasty comments, if he doesn't start pulling his weight and treating you better in general) I would follow through on the leaving part.

You don't have to live your life with someone that shows you contempt. Get angry and do something about it. You are not in the wrong. You have the power and every right to determine what happens in your life and the type of relationship you want. Don't settle for this crap.

You're such a lovely bunch, maybe it's the pregnancy hormones but you really got me tearing up 🥲

By that measure I'm a fucking genius.

Sat to him, 'that's not very manly is it?' when he does something you don't like. It will help if you look slightly disgusted while you say it. See how he likes it.

Does he behave like a 'gentleman'. If not, perhaps you could helpfully point out when his behaviour is letting him down.

He makes a lot of misogynistic comments?

He sounds like a complete cunt. Why are you putting up with this shit?

I was going to say the same 🤣

I'd just tell him straight that I don't do ladylike. If I want to swear or fart then I will.

Has it changed lately?why is he expecting different

I'm sorry OP. If he's only recently changed it's usually one of two things. (It's like a script because it's so flipping obvious).

His head has been turned or
His partner is pregnant/recently given birth and she is placing higher expectations on him and he refuses to step up. So he DARVOs.

Tell him straight he needs to stop (although I don't think he can).

Me too. 🤣

Im very lady like when i need to be or when at work prim and proper.
when my home im in pj with a fag swearing at youtube or the dogs next door if i have to fart i will.
On holiday im an utter slag.
Im not changing for anyone.

It sounds like your swearing is turning him off. I would be slightly tempted to start saying CUNT very loudly as your new favourite swear word, but at the same time, I don't think it's that unreasonable to have an aversion to swearing. If you have a look at some 'ick' threads on here, you'll see that women have all kinds of aversions and some of them have double standards of their own.

What would concern me a little more is that this is a new thing, and I can see why you'd feel hurt and judged. It's something to keep an eye on. I hope you doesn't put you down as routine.

I just asked my DH if I was ladylike and he laughed in my face and said no, and he's never thought of me as "ladylike".

We're people. "Ladylike" is a bit of a roundabout way of saying you should be quiet and demure and submissive. It's not a good thing. Just be yourself.

I know a few actual Ladies (and was at uni with a non-UK princess). Most swear like troopers. He is being an arse and looking for ways to criticize you. That needs addressing.

Why does he get to police your speech?

Reminds me of a man I knew once who'd buy his wife two halves instead of a pint because pints aren't ladylike.

Has he been watching Andrew Tate videos?