Second Date

[Rosiecidar]

So first date was coffee. He has suggested a walk with my dog for the second date and I asked him to elaborate thinking he might say a drink in the park or lunch or well something but no just a walk in town towards a park...I have said that's something I might do with a friend. He has now said "what about a drink then" - it feels like hard work already. Shall I cut my losses, I suggested the place for the first date. He seems kind, hard working and decent but a bit unexciting, but I didn't want to write him off ..until he came back with this unexciting idea.

What do you want? Skydiving?

@BlastedPimples I think there's something in between sky diving and "a walk" with no plan or destination...

Hmm must admit anyone suggesting walking a dog as a date would be a hard no for me.

I suppose it’s worth saying yes to a drink and asking him to choose the venue - if he doesn’t seem proactive then I’d walk away

No I’m not saying the man should always take the lead but as you chose first date venue, let him choose and see what his idea of a venue looks like.

OP Was asking a question which is valid. She didn't say anything elaborate, just for this guy to suggest something decent because she organized last date.
OP, Ive had this..i organised dates, then said you plan something and it was the pub all the time...then me planning a date elsewhere, like theatre, concert, history,... I got fed up organizing and hom not really quickly. Initially when dating exploring other places, interests should be part parcel. Im not saying there's anything wrong with him but that you are probably incompatible.
If he cant plan a proper date then that doesn't bode well for him planning anything in the future once hes comfortable. He's showing you who he is. I politely, kindly let my date go, reason? Incompatible

Take him up on the offer of a drink and ask him where and when to meet.

I'd keep an eye out for tightness. It comes across to me as though he doesn't want to spend money.

Yes, when he suggested the dog walk and I said we probably weren't really compatible and he then suggested a drink. To be honest even that hasn't got much thought.

Sounds like he’s skint.

Cut your losses. A dog walk as a second date - no thanks!

If you've already said youre not that compatible he'd be a fool to continue.

Tbh OP my date was the same...its like he had no imagination or couldn't be arsed to plan anything worth doing. I mean if youre in a relationship, walk the dog and go for a drink, but initially? Its pretty poor when trying to impress someone. Hes showing that youll be the planner, he wont do anything. Honestly, had 2 like this and i moved on sharpish

I would think if you clicked and enjoyed his company it wouldn't really matter what the date involved, either you know you want to get to know him more or you don't want to. It doesn't sound like you are that bothered and maybe neither is he given the lack of thought.

Why should ge be trying to impress? Maybe he's just trying to get to know the OP?

I’ve been on a walk for a date but I found it was hard to judge whether there was a spark as there wasn’t eye contact.
I think you are being a bit harsh. I think the first couple of dates should be relatively short so not anything like a meal where you need to be there for a set time. Saying that, I did do go ape for a second date but I ended up feeling bad as it was a very expensive date.

Because some women accept breadcrumbs and thats where the man sets a precedent of barely trying and her doing the work. Its a bad start. Whether you agree or not. I would not go out on these poor dates with a bloke with minimal effort... especially if ive planned good dates! That it is me!

I might be going against the grain here but I absolutely love walking dates. Is a chance for to chat and get to know a person.

I think it's a lovely idea and it'd suit me much better than the pub, so don't dismiss him because of that alone! You're still in the really early stages of getting to know each other, so if he seems decent and you like him then go for a drink or suggest another idea.

Fair enough, we all have different expectations.

I don't think coffee is a particularly exciting first date either but is totally fine in the initial getting to know you dates, particularly if it's someone you've met online.

Yes exactly my thoughts too. You can talk and explore compatibility without having to sit directly opposite each other for the duration.

I enjoyed walking dates but they were in nice parks. If you are not feeling him just move on but if you still think there could be something then why don't you just tell him to let you know where and when and see how that turns out.

For a first date on OLD a walk in a park and coffee is nice but not a second. My gut feeling is that this guy presented a certain image ... pictures in black tie, fancy places but it's not who he really is. I have had suggestions of second dates for a walk in the park and lunch or dinner to tie in with something I may have said " you mentioned you like sushi" that sort of thing but his "invitation" began with "what time do you take your dog for a walk?" .. It's horses for courses but I want someone who makes an effort....

Many art galleries and museums are free, and have cafés or bars. If he was tedious, there would still be plenty there to do solo.

He wants to get to know you, that means talking.

...and let's say he has ten dates on the go. Multiply that by ten dinners (£100), that's £1000!

Is it any wonder why guys like to see whether women are worthy of more significant dates first.

He might have been trying to make a good impression via how well he got on with your dog.

Did you like him or not? The rest is just window dressing. A total arsehole once spent over 2k on champagne on a date. I blocked him as I walked out the door.

I can't stand this attitude. We spent 1.5 hours talking, we have spoken on the phone. How about he offers a degree of selection when he suggests a second date ? I don't lower my standards for online dating. If he's burning through numbers of women then he is definitely not for me.

Tbh the first 5 dates esp I loved getting dressed and glammed up when I was first dating my dp. Going on a walk would not be compatible with me looking my best ( or my 4 inch heels lol). This wouldn’t be for me.

He’s either skint or not that interested. Both would have him in the bin on my watch