Would this comment offend you?

[Sugarpuff22]

DH has been diagnosed with a life threatening illness.
He will have to have surgery and 6 months of treatment.

My DM has not spoken to him for over a year. It's a long story but basically she didn't think he was treating me right.

DM is very full on, phoning and messaging me around 3 times a day. I could go more into this but want to get to the point.

So, I told her today about DH illness. She said "Well, you know how I feel about him. But, he is the father of my grandchildren and I wouldn't wish that on anyone".

I really don't know how to take this? Would like to know your thoughts please?

Btw no affair or abuse is involved in our marriage.

Why are you offended? She showed sympathy, or am I missing something?

No, I think it’s fair given the circumstances. You wouldn’t have believed her if she said she was devastated I don’t think.

I’m so sorry about his illness.

So many people are hypocritical and mawkish when someone gets ill. Good for her for not being fake. She wishes him well, but it doesn’t mean she has to change her opinion of his character.

I'd appreciate her sentiment.

What did he do that has caused her to feel that she needs to stop talking to him?

That is a very strong response towards your daughters husband

I don't see the problem.

Yes, I agree with this. I'm really sorry your husband is ill and I hope his treatment goes well xx ❤

All depends on what she thinks he did to not treat you right?

What's offensive about it?

Thank you for your replies.

I just wanted opinions. DM can be a bit of a narcissist. I kind of took it that she was "look what a bigger person I am".

She has caused a lot of upset in my family by not speaking to him and caused me a lot of stress. But it's reassuring to read your comments. Thank you

I'm sorry about your Dh's illness.
I think, given the strength of feeling your DM has against him her comment was fair enough. Probably the most sympathetic thing she could say without being a total hypocrite.

My next door neighbour and her best pal fell out and stopped speaking. My neighbour was unfortunately found dead in her home - police had to break in and found her. I told her ex friend later in the day and she said Good. And went into a tirade of abuse about the poor dead woman. Gosh that upset me . I wasn't expecting hypocrisy from her but it takes a special type of person to talk like that about someone who died in tragic circumstances.

So I think your DM's comment was acceptable even if not as supportive as you probably would have preferred.

I think it's an expected response I guess, given that they're not in contact. So I wouldn't be offended cos presumably you knew she doesn't like him anyway

Just sounds tiring. It’s better not to talk about your DH to your DM… you’ll get little sympathy and negative comments.

It was acceptable. Neutral really.

I think it is ok.

i think her response was fair and honest

I don't think she said anything offensive

Why does she dislike him so much?

@Babbahabba
its a long story, I had a mental health breakdown and she didn't think that he supported me enough

Did he?

@Idontjetwashthefucker
no he didn't but neither did she

Hmm, but he's your husband and lives with you right?

In the circumstances, I think that was a generous, if also honest, thing to say. She’s not pretending she doesn’t think he’s a piss-poor husband, but she’s sorry he’s seriously ill.

Fucking hell. And you're pissed off with your mother?

Perfectly reasonable response given how she feels about him. Anything more sympathetic would sound, and be, false. I am sorry he is ill op.