Boyfriend takes his laptop on holiday whilst we are away to work on!

[Charlie12023]

How would you ladies feel, if you had planned a lovely holiday away for a week, somewhere nice, chilled, planned lots of things, always looking forward to your week or 2 weeks away, but your boyfriend always insisted he brings his laptop because he has to work whilst away?

When we first met he said, is it a dealbreaker? I said well a compromise would be good for example, checking them in the morning, checking them at night ,he said I just dont want to come home to a whole load of emails which would stress me out. ( I feel bad for raising the question to him, as in I think do I feel like a control freak now or selfish lol) He is a director part owner of a company has been, for about 20 years now so he is kind of very dependent on the sales aspect of this jobs, his clients and contracts too with 2 others as well.

However its kind of got my back up, not too sure there is a compromise but it kind of puts a strain on the relaxing part as I feel he is still kind of working, not relaxing per se, or prioritising things which would be good for him to wind down so he feels it helps him, so he doesnt come home to more stress, but I think, what is the point of going away? or am I being really inconsiderate here?

Would be nice to look forward to a holiday in the hope that you kind of chill all the time together, anyone had partners like this? as we both work hard in the week, myself included as I work for myself but would not bring my laptop ever with me on holiday I would just stick in the out of office on!!

thanks for reading, just not too sure how to address this really?

I'm self employed and I always take my laptop. I try to keep it 30 mins work in the morning and the odd WhatsApp. It's a price I am willing to pay for the flexibility of self employment and DH is completely on board with it.

I'm self-employed, it's just me, nobody else to pick up the slack while I'm away. If I go away on holiday with my daughter, I plan to completely switch off from work and I DON'T take my laptop. It would be the same if I went on a romantic/relaxing holiday with a partner.

DH always has his work phone and laptop when we are on holiday. It's better than coming home to hundreds of unanswered emails, apparently, plus he has a global health and safety role and accidents/natural disasters will happen whether he's on holiday or not.

I notice that a lot of the posters responding are talking about their DHs and you are talking about a boyfriend. It makes a big difference IMO whether you are in a long term relationship/marriage and will therefore benefit from the success of his business (which may make it worth a few hours of missed holiday together) or not.

I also think it depends on how many holidays you / he do during the year. It’s different expecting a couple of weeks a year kept work-free versus 5 or 6 trips a year.

I'm retiring in the autumn from a senior public sector role - one of the things I'm looking forward to most i s not having to take my laptop on holiday. Like PPs it's preferable to keep on top of things than return to hundreds of emails and issues that have become a problem while away.

Self employed and I prefer to spend 10 min here and there keeping track of emails and orders while away rather than having loads to reply to on my return. Can relax more knowing all in hand.

My husband always works when away. Just see how it goes. He may not be working too much, but being self employed/ director means you need to keep in the loop etc