DP email from gay hookup

[Chilliflakey]

What’s the chances it’s innocent?

I found out by accident as he texted me the name Fabguys in error

I know the answer really

But sounds like you already knew he was bisexual?

This the most likely explanation as I see it:

He was having a messaging conversation with someone in the same app he messages you (e.g. texts, whats app, whatever you guys use). He meant to send the message saying 'FabGuys' to that person, for example in response to them saying 'who is this?' and him saying 'It's Dave" 'dave from where' 'fabguys'. This would explain why he put it in a message - the idea he meant to google it is stupid, no one confuses a browser for a messaging app (unless he has a major impairment you've failed to mention).

He is not straight and is involved or seeking to be involved in some capacity with men. So for you, you need to talk to him about this, find out the truth, and then decide what you're ok with and what youre not. For some this would be a dealbreaker. For others, there might be an arrangement possible.

@Ecstaticmotion ah, yes, that would explain it. I have little doubt he’d know what the site was without googling anyway!

I’m not ok with it, because it’s deceitful and betrayal.

Sorting it

Good luck! I hope he's not too crap about it and you can move on with your life to find someone honest.

Oh come on! The name alone 'Fabguys' gives an indication of what it is! You don't need to google it!

He's a liar and is sniffing around homosexual dating/casual sex websites.

Has anyone ever texted when they meant to google? It does not happen. The man is gay.

To be fair I actually have done this before, when I was deep in the newborn trenches and exhausted

Exactly this. If he can't show you the email, then you've got the answer.

Could he be trying to join? To get all the bits of Fabguys you text to a number and it costs £5.

I googled it.

This is what comes up on the search page. Deffo a gay dating site.

You don't randomly get emails from Fabguys or Fabswingers unless you are already signed up to them, or sites/apps just like them.
They are the hook up types and Fabguys is almost always 'cum & go', glory holes, public toilets, car parks, saunas, all of that.
Far more men than I ever realised are into that stuff.

You need to get an STI check and asap and then leave

Why is there always an automatic assumption that gay men are riddled with sti's? It's really quite offensive.

This …no one accidentally texts instead of using a search engine! But people do accidentally text the wrong person.

It’s standard advice across MN to straight people too who might be being cheated on. Nothing unusual.

That doesn’t excuse looking for or taking the opportunity to cheat, his sexuality doesn’t mean cheating with someone of the same sex is any less cheating.

It’s the advice anyone would get if their partner had potentially been sleeping with anyone from a hook up site, it’s regular and sensible advice to get checked for STIs if anyone discovers their partner has been unfaithful.

To be fair I've just googled it because I'd never heard of it and then thought I wonder how I'd explain that search to my husband if he saw my search history.
Not sure someone on mumsnet mentioned googling it and I wanted to see what it was would sound very believable either.

I didn’t know bisexual but it’s the betrayal, not the sex of those involved

It sounds deeply bizarre. Who accidentally types a text when they meant to Google and then sends it? Even a 95 yo who's only just got a smartphone wouldn't do that surely?
What a weirdo. I don't know the site but if it's like fab swingers it's hook ups and chat and I think you can watch some videos. Not used that either but heard from others on here.
So, dodgy AF.

I’ve ended it

Thanks for the replies

@CosmicDaisyChain I'd say exactly the same if he were sleeping with women. It's not that I think gay men are riddled with STIs, it's that casual sex is risky, no matter who it's with!

Sending a massive hug OP.
Be gentle with yourself over the next few days as you've had a shock xxx

I’m so sorry this has happened, that’s the right decision, look after yourself x

why is everyone assuming OP is a woman? Have I missed something?

It definitely sounds like he is being, or looking to be, unfaithful. Sorry OP