Love bombing

[Pinklady2007]

Hello I just wanted to ask people's experiences of love boming and if I share my brief experience tell me your views please.
I got talking to a man from a dating site back in June. We went on 4 dates. He seemed very full on but I thought he was just overly keen and would calm down. By date 4 he was asking to come on my already booked holiday with me and my daughter. He told me also he had been banned from driving and his ban was coming to an end, then he mentioned he had to have a medical to get his licence back, so I believe this makes him a high risk driver. I don't drive it is what someone told me. I felt so overwhelmed with him and have now ended things. He was constantly all over me all the time. It is hard to tell the difference between someone who is genuine and is too much. Thanks for reading

I’ll be honest I don’t see that fits the description of love bombing but he definitely sounds like someone to avoid

Thanks guys. We spoke messaged and video called for the first few weeks then dates in July last weekend I finished it and felt I had to block him as I was so worried he would try to contact me again. My daughter went to visit her dad and he was offering to pay for her to get to train station. It was a kind gesture but odd too

Love bombing is more like showering you with gifts and praise etc. As a prelude to more abusive behaviour, it's designed to make you feel disorientated and unable to judge the person on their everyday merits.

Wanting to come on holiday with you and your daughter after four dates sounds more like a lack of boundaries or common sense. And a probable tendency to be controlling.

Combined with the driving thing, I'd say he's just a twat you don't need.

I'd also keep your love life very separate from home and family and not even contemplate introducing someone to your daughter until you're sure it's a stable relationship.

Thank you, you are quite right. It's all freaked me out to be honest

Married to a narcissist for for years and was love bombed but this my dear does not sound like love bombimg.. He sounds opportunistic.. And possibly someone who makes extremely poor decisions for an adult. I would steer clear.. What people show in the beginning is a small percentage what they’re really capable of.

Chillichick I asked him to leave and said it wasn't going to work out

Yes. After the 4th date. He was so full on I did nearly get caught up in it and then come back to my senses

He told me after date 2 he thought this would be something special then just constantly telling me he liked me. I've totally learned a lesson

Thank you and you are quite right. I nearly did just get caught up in it until he mentioned the holiday.

Did he have his own place? Was he hinting at moving in with you, setting himself up as your very own cocklodger?

No he lived with his mum after a breakup last year. He didn't mention moving in, but I reckon if I would have asked he would of been here now.

You definitely done the right thing. You're well rid ❤️

I think so too. Its just all freaked me out though.

Unfortunately you need to kiss a few weird frogs before you get your less weird prince 😉

God, I think I'm.done for a while

Even reading about how full on he was makes me feel suffocated. Well done for ending it and blocking him.
I once agreed on going on a date (met online) with a man and he sent me maybe 20 photos/videos of him and called me 5 times while I was walking to our meet up point and he told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend after our first date. I felt suffocated and never saw him again as he didn't give us any time to get to know each other and find out if it would grow with time.
The contrast was so different with my now DH as it felt natural from our first date and every time we met (and communication between) was just flowing and we got to know each other with time.

See I thought this too and just originally thought he was too keen and would cool it. Then he kept saying in a joke way " oh I can't believe your leaving me to go on holiday for a week" I took that as a joke until he actually asked. I did feel suffocated tbh. There is little things coming back to me now. Like telling me my lipstick was too bright but it suits me.

I met a man on OLD last year. After a couple of dates I mentioned I was going away later in the month to Greece with a friend. He actually said ‘you’re not going to go now we’re together are you?’

Seriously WTF??? I replied that even if we’d been together 2 years I’d still go away with a mate which he told me wasn’t right in a relationship.

There were no more dates

Omfg. It's just crazy and scary. And I would be the same

Agree with this IP - put boundaries in place so you don’t give potential cocklodgers a chance and be very careful about letting anyone know where you live until you’re far more sure of them.

I totally agree

I agree with everything you've said. He did have a job and with the dd thing it normally would have put me off, but he made out ( not saying it's ever any excuse), that he didn't think he would be over the limit. I guess I'm too nice and thought well he's made a mistake albeit could of been a costly one. Then when he mentioned having to have a medical I thought hmmmmm, so I asked my sister and she explained it. Thank you for commenting I appreciate it. X

I did think of the financial difficulty that people are in these day specially after breakups divorce etc. But I also thought he's looking for someone to live with and it won't be me

Well done OP. You’ve only got to read the threads on here to see how many women let a man move in quickly and end up with a cocklodger they can’t get rid of.

I meant I don't judge people but I definitely will now