To have never been hit on!

[Poppybob]

I feel uncomfortable posting this but am. interested in people's view. I am married with DC, been with DH for a long time. I've never been hit on when out with friends etc. Never been catcalled, never had anyone slide into DMs. Never get compliments. Never had any of the annoying behaviour other women say they constantly get from men. I do realise it can be horrible etc etc. I was just wondering if I was literally the only woman who hasn't experienced these things. Am thin and always been thin, friendly and think am okish in looks. Not gorgeous but not ugly either.

It’s also about what you’re doing/saying/writing. Nobody is going to slide into your DMs if your Twitter feed is mostly you discussing Venezuelan fiscal policy, or retweeting Nigel Farage porn (on second thoughts, that probably cause a lot of ‘patriots’ to slide into your DMs 😬). Few men are going to buy you a drink if you are going to student bars. Nobody is going to want to dance with you if you don’t go dancing. So context is important.

I think men are a bit more circumspect these days and women are a bit better at having their voices heard if they are subjected to unwelcome advances. My 18yo DD is very pretty, but is much more confident and handles herself with much greater confidence than I did at her age, and she doesn’t get hit on by randomers. I’d feel sorry for the man who tried it 😬

Of course that's harassment - we're talking about being hit on though...it's not the same thing.

I've been harassed but I've not been hit on (as mentioned above, never been given a number, bought a drink, only been asked out 3 times in my 40 years etc).

I think OP includes harassment.

I don’t recall ever being given a number either - Ive been asked for my number in a street harassment way though, I’ve been bought a lot of drinks where it seems pretty culturally normalised - people getting a round in or it being a standard ‘genteel’ thing for man to do, so it doesn’t seem like a specifically targeted come on, I don’t think I’ve been ‘asked out’ either if I trawl back through my memory banks.

I was (and still am on a good day) very pretty - a sort of Disney pretty. Slim but not tall. I don't have large boobs. My 10yo son has better manicured hands than I do and I've not had long hair since I was 20. Bob, twiggyy crop or a mullet - no difference.
I'm always approached - by men & women of all ages to compliment me or tell me how beautiful they find me. Sometimes it can be a tad too intense.
I've had male strangers pull off romantic gestures there and then.

The dark side of this attention is very dark and my whole life has been shaped by it. The "pretty privilege" exists but it has a very ugly underbelly.

I'm still not sure why I get so much attention directed my way.
According to men : I walk like I'm sex on legs. Even in Crocs.

I wish I could see myself with a stranger's eyes to understand. I must be sexy and approachable but I don't know what defines it.

I'm happily single.

🙄

I haven’t either.

But I gotta say I’m confused…
How are ya’ll married?
LOL!

I’ve never even been on a date, that’s how much I’ve never been hit on.

Also, if you have a partner (again, how?) does it really matter anymore?

I get hit on most days. Even without makeup.

Since I was around 21 I always grab a jumper or a jacket to hide my big boobs and ass so I don't get comments.

Trust me it is not a good thing and you're better off.

It doesn't mean you aren't attractive I just run into twats too often 🫠

I'm a size 14/16 6 foot big boobs big arse and look like marina & the diamonds girlo.

But honestly I don't think it's how I look. I've a very confident walk and I'm a very confident person. I probably give off that vibe. I'm telling you it's all about confidence op.

But why are you feeling like this if you have a husband?

Go get your nails done or something or a new hair do??

I haven't either and I am soo glad. I have a good friend who regularly gets hit on!! It is a pure torture being out with her. We go out to catch up and then have random men wanting to join us, (her LOL) Honestly after one of those nights I just came home and was like I am so happy to be a plain Jane!!

I am curious about that too.

I’m 59 now but was considered very attractive when I was young as fairly tall 5 foot 8, slim and had long blond hair and a largest bust and I used to get hit on all the time (I could fill a book with my stories about this) – I was followed, I had my bum pinched on many occasions and was ‘chatted up and flirted with – of course it was less PC times and guys thought they could get away with more. The thing was I wasn’t very confident and had low self esteem so if I was on my own I found it quite difficult to deal with but when out with friends it could be a laugh and I quite enjoyed it. Once I married and had children things were a lot better and although it still happened (even in front of the kids!) I found I was a lot more able to handle it and didn’t mind it so much – I would just flash my ring and smile or say ‘I’m married’ which still didn’t stop some wolves! Its one of these things that can be nice and makes you feel good but it can also be a real pain. I also found it did create jealously with other women – I would get accused of flirting with someone’s partner if they approached me even if I wasn’t interested! To be honest I've never seen myself as a flirt but I've always liked to dress nicely and always wear make-up.

I spent some time, in a work sense, around an ex model. Extremely attractive and unusually striking lady. I was aware she spent much time trying to avoid eye contact and attention in any way from other people. I felt sorry for her. It must be pretty wearing to be doing this constantly.

I was the world's most unpopular girl. I say that I only managed marriage because of hypnotism; actually I married men who were even less socially confident than I was. I'm objectively plain, was never 'given numbers' asked out, followed, harrassed generally or even given the odd 'phwoar!' I was always the 'don't fancy yours much, mate' girl.

Now I'm in my sixties, I am brimful of confidence. I KNOW I'm plain and I don't care, I'm single and successful and having a great time and I get men chatting me up ALL THE TIME!

Where were you, guys, when I was in my twenties and having to look at the floor while all my friends were chatted up around me?

I've none of those things, well I do have hair and breasts, and still got a depressing amount of attention when I was younger

To be honest, now that I'm older (59) and it could be a pain I actually miss the attention I got when I was younger I had a lot of triggers that @EasySkankin said, long blond hair, nice bum and boobs, long legs and I always dressed well and wore make-up also I've always smiled a lot partly because I'm a bit shy and probably give off a signal that I'm approachable and friendly (I'm a definite people pleaser)

A nice genuine smile works wonders for male attraction & first contact, it’s not necessary to have all of the things ladies perceive they need, ie ( nice legs, curvy body, slim hips ,big boobs, long hair, small bum,) A lot of fellas are not brave enough to approach ladies nowadays, for fear of getting accused of harassment or put down.If you see someone you would like to know a little bit about, why not make the first move.

Think you’ve misread the thread…

of course the big down side for me of being attractive when I was young and 'hit on' was that it tended to the cocky confident types who approached me (I as quite shy and lacked confidence) and I ended up being bedded by quite dew womanisers and lived with one for over a year.