Been seeing a guy since last November. I knew of him as we live in the same town. He was married 20 years and has teen age boys.
When I met him he told me how difficult things were after the divorce and being away from his boys etc. It had been 18 months and he said things were a lot easier etc. He likes a drink and what I could gather, he spent a lot of time in the pub. As we have dated, I suppose he spends less time in the pub but still likes a drink. He told me he drank a lot over the last year and would go out every weekend to get very drunk. He also told me he had taken cocaine on a few occasions. He told me that was not the life he wanted and it was his way of coping.
About 2 months ago he told me he was thinking about moving in with his mum so he could get some money behind him. He has said he wants to build a future with me but has poor credit history so needs to sort this. I have asked how bad the debt is as I need to know this. I work really hard for my home. It took me a long time after my divorce to mortgage alone.
He said it was just money he owed his mum. I told him to be honest and he said it was just a little to pay his mum back. I spoke with his mum briefly about the plan and she said he is always giving his 1 son money (he is 19) to go out as he spends his money quickly. Long story short, just found out his son smokes cannabis and is taking illicit substances. They must be costly.
He is now moving in with his mum.
My phone broke so he has lent me an old phone of his. Straight away text messages were popping up from debt companies. I read 3. I have no idea if these are outstanding. The date was August 2023. I went into the gallery. First thing I saw was a pink coloured pill on someone’s hand. I have no idea what this was. I looked at another video as I could see him in it with something on his tongue. Then played the video and it was him recording himself taking this pill. I googled it and it was exactly the same as illicit drugs called MDNA (I might have that wrong, something like that anyway). I went on to another video and it was him saying ‘I have pills for all of us’. Then another door cam footage of him to his neighbour saying’I have grams of cocaine here, I’m leaving it outside’.
This was all last year. We spend alot of time together so I know this isn’t happening now. I’m not naive, I am now very much questioning if it has on occasions. I’m also wondering if someone can just go through a phase like that after divorce and then live without it again.