I regret breaking up with an ex 5 years ago

[Nomoreplease2016]

Has this ever happened to any of you? I was too young and naive to think things thoroughly. Huge regret. I won’t lie, this man was definitely the one that got away. I miss him to this day. He was my best friend & I was a 23 year old who got scared of commitment. We had been together 3 years & tbh I really don’t know what came over me. But lo and behold. 5 years on I still think about him all too often & although try to convince myself other wise, i for some reason have a feeling (maybe being delulu) that we will one day reunite. Even if it’s yearsssss away. Does anyone have any advice or any experience/similar stories? TIA

I think you'd be silly not to get in touch, just be prepared for rejection. Worst scenario he says you broke his heart and F you. It will upset you but then he gets the satisfaction of being able to say it, so it's not a bad ending all round.

My friend was in your position, her ex reached out. She was very tentative, a little harsh on him really but they stayed in touch on and off for a long time and one day boom, they were both on the same page. Now married with 3 kids.

Contact him and ask how he is and what he's been up to. If he's not single he should say.

But like pp have said you might be building this up in your mind and you will both have changed :)

When I was younger I split with an ex and for years after thought about him ( really did think he was the one). I messaged and we ended up back together. We stayed together for over a year but then split, but personally for me that was better than if I hadn't reached out, because I was finally able to draw a line under it and move on from him knowing he wasn't the one. Now extremely happily married (to the one 😍) not worrying if I missed out. Only you know if you can get your closure without contacting him but personally I'd get in touch (assuming he's single) even it's just as friends and go from there. Good luck ❤️

Definitely text him, you will always wonder if you don't. I was the "contactee" in a similar scenario - we'd dated for a couple of months one summer, then a couple of months the next summer, nothing serious as we were living in separate cities and he was touring. He then got in touch a few years later, said he's never forgotten about me and was in a much more stable place and could offer me a proper commitment and life together. I had also never forgotten about him, unfortunately I was engaged to someone else, with a wedding booked. I ended up breaking up with my fiancé and we've been together ever since. 20 years and counting, 4 children. Although it was messy at the time, both my fiancé and I knew something wasn't right but neither of us were saying anything. We weren't right for each other at all and I'm sure if we had have got married, there would have been a divorce within a couple of years. He is now happily married with children of his own.
I'm not suggesting you keep pursuing him if he isn't single, it was messy, just telling my story, but definitely contact him. Rather than being in an unhappy marriage I'm with my twin flame and have 4 beautiful children, I can't imagine my life if he hadn't got in touch.

Yeah it happens.

if you’re thinking about him that much it’s worth reaching out.

it does fade, but 15-20 years later you just think (while your husband is being cranky) remember that bf that gave the best hugs? Or didn’t like chocolate so I got it all? Kinda just turns into a happy memory. Because you have found Someone else. You just haven’t found someone better yet. Still time.

I can see why you ran at 23!! It was a good decision! Now you know who you are as adults.

Have you anyway of contacting him? Doesn’t have to be straight away saying you miss him but you could connect again. Me and my ex were together less than a year and I broke up with him. Just didn’t feel right at the time I was only 20. I added him as a friend on Facebook a few years later and we have been together ever since it was a totally different relationship as we were older. We have been together 10 years this year and we have 2 kids and getting married!

You are really selfish, you chose to end it on your terms, but now you realise you have still have feelings, get a grip and move on, I bet the bloke had.

I thought that. 5 years is so long and she's so selfish in wanting to upend his life.

I wish the ex who broke up with me who I loved with all my heart had come back five years later and asked to get back together. I wound have said yes. Have never forgotten him or felt the same since. Contact him, you have nothing to lose

How could you ever trust him again though? If he was willing to give you up, he wasn't right for you.

Can you ask around or check on social media to see if he is single? Then if he is you could contact him one last time to see if he feels the same about you. Saying that, even if he is in a relationship it doesn’t mean he is happy. If he is not married/engaged or has a baby/kids then I think you should contact one last time to see if there is a future for you both otherwise you will always have regrets with what ifs! If he is married/engaged or has kids though I think you should leave it and move on.

Not only willing to give him up - the OP didn't go running back after 5 weeks - it's been 5 years and he's a stranger to her now. She's a stranger to him too.

I'd also be sitting on hot coals in case they decided actually they made the right decision and left again.

@HowIrresponsible wanting to upend his life? Are you for real? Firstly who said I was going to upend his life, I’m on a forum getting advice about how I’ve been feeling. I haven’t even contacted him for your info. And no I didn’t go running back after 5 weeks, what sort of person goes running back after a few weeks. It would have ended again if I had done that considering my head wasn’t in a good place at the time.

If you'd really missed him and regretted it after you ended it you wouldn't have waited 5 years.