Were you instantly attracted to your current partner ?

[Pinkflowersxo]

I am wanting to date differently and go for men who are genuinely good people. I'm definitely trying to change my ways and no longer choosing men who are bad for me.

I guess I have this thing in my head where I believe the men who will be good I won't be attracted to.

I just wondered to those of you in relationships now were you Instantly attracted to your partner from the beginning ? Can this grow as your feelings grow ?

I also don't want to feel like I'm settling at the same time as surely you have to feel attracted to to the person you're with ?

What do you think ? X

Yes - there was just something about him.
We were at school together a long time ago and I remember him from then, but when we met again I just knew we would have something - now very happily married

It was my DHs smile and warmth with a slight level of cheekiness that hooked me, 14 years later and still couldn't imagine anyone else.
He wasn't my before typical type (was mostly very tall and muscular before him) but he made me laugh.

I couldn't imagine being with anyone else and he's a fantastic guy, amazing dad and still the love of my life.

I've only ever been instantly attracted to one guy in my life.

Long-term partners who I really really loved - didn't fancy them at all when we first met. Got to know them and their amazing inner world and started feeling very differently after a few months. Both really lovely and loyal men.

I was, the first time I met him I just thought he was so handsome! Then his confidence, intelligence, kindness and sense of humour shone through very quickly and I became even more attracted to him!

Yes, instant on both sides. Still madly in love 35 years on.

Aw I was getting all soppy reading that until I read the second half 😢 I hope things take a turn for the better, maybe the stress of having two young children is taking its toll and things will go back to how they were in time!

Attracted the minute we met. 50 years later, we still feel the same about each other. I know I’m lucky but, I wouldn’t trade him for a million £.

I hope you can find The One. Don’t sell yourself short.

Attraction is needed, of course.

I think as long as there's at least an appreciation, you're fine. It doesn't have to be sparks, unicorns and rainbows.

I was instantly attracted to my ex husband. A bit by his appearance but mostly his seemingly kind manner and intelligence. He was very charming. This bit me on the ass many years later.
I think a definite “no” from gut instinct should always be listened to but a “maybe” is worth a try.

I did fancy him but maybe not quite as much as I had some others. I knew he was a good man as I didn't feel any need to play my cards close to my chest like I had with other men. He was just really easy and straightforward and sweet. We both kept talking about how well we got on on the first date and I straight away said 'we know there's going to be a second date, right?'

I used to be attracted to wrong'uns before too and I guess the common thing with them was I would never have felt I could let my guard down with them so fast.

Yep! We were both the kind of people that don’t have sex on the first date but we were in bed within minutes of first meeting (we had been talking for a few weeks prior). Been married 4 years now and I still fancy the pants off of him.

No.

We met at university & were very good mates for several years before we got together as a couple. I always knew he was one of the good guys, and that he would make a fantastic partner for someone, but the idea that that person might be me never occurred to either of us.

I didn't fancy or feel spark with my DH in the beginning. I recognised he was very interesting and on our first date I remember thinking he was a male version of me. If he hadn't pursued me I would have just moved on but he did and after a while when I got to know him and saw that he had character and traits I was looking, the way he was treating me and everything was just so natural and it was flowing between us I suddenly started fancying him like crazy.

My dh and I were set up on a blind date, and when I first saw him, he was the complete opposite of 'my type'. Still a good looking man, just different to what I would usually go for. Within an hour of our first date I knew he was everything I could wish for. It wasn't fireworks or oceans parting, it felt like I was home. I couldn't wait to jump into bed with him! The connection we had was really strong and that definitely made him super attractive to me. We've been happily married now for 24 years, and we still fancy the pants off each other! Just keep an open mind op.

It's funny when I think back to the first time I met dh. His group of friends and my group starting hanging out. I didn't fancy him at first as I wasn't looking for anyone. I wasn't in the best place in my mind at the time. He was also acting like a jack the lad after a few drinks and I thought he was a bit full of himself. But everyone loved him, he was like a magnet to everyone, male & female. He made the first move on me after a few drinks and after that we were inseparable. I still fancy him so much 15 years on, married with dc. He is still like a magnet to people now, anytime we go to a family event on my side everyone wants to talk to him and tell me what a great guy he is. He's not that good round the house though unfortunately. I suppose you can't have it all 😉

Yes and no. I could not sleep with someone I wasn't sexually attracted to...but that sexual attraction wasn't there for me immediately. Also I think i seriously dont have 'a type' by the way. I was newly separated after 22 years together and 3 kids. A friend of a friend expressed an interest. It was very early days for me though. He was 5 years older. I was 39. He was on long term sick as had a broken ankle. And due to be paid off from work. He was bald. And overweight. Ex army and a widower, a single father with a kid who was very much hard work. We chatted. He seemed a good guy which I kind of knew he was anyway. I said you know what lets go out for some food. He was one of the most genuine men I've ever had a conversation with and we had the same core values and he made me laugh so much. The laughing was the clincher for me. He soon laughed me into the sack and it was amazing. (I had been very worried about being with someone new after 22+ years). Its never wained. That was 12 years ago and we are due to be married in 12 weeks

Yes, I shed a tear when I met him because he was so beautiful and sexy. And oh, he smelled like heaven. We had been chatting online for 5 weeks before deciding to meet.

Been together 10 years in October and married for 4 years. Most handsome man I ever met!

I spotted my now dh across a room and chatted him up. He was absolutely gorgeous and I fancied him like mad!

We've been together 32 years now. He's still lovely and my son looks very like he did all those years ago.

I met mine online and thought he was worth a punt because he had a three legged cat and a pet Jackdaw. 😆 I love a man who adores animals.

On our first date I could see he was handsome but he talked incessantly and dressed like he'd just fallen through the window on Fat Willy's Surf Shack. I was right...turns out he's a base jumper, pilot, skydiving all round Milk Tray Man.

We're now shacked up and two kids in. I find him incredibly interesting and intelligent and sexy.

I just wish he felt the same way still. 😞

We met on Reddit in a particular sub. Just started chatting in that sub, had no idea what he looked like. He was interesting and made me laugh so we moved to private messaging. We exchanged photos and I though " Well, not really my type but I definitely like him"

We moved on to FaceTiming and that's when I started really falling for him. He was so kind and lovely. He thought I was beautiful and made me feel so sexy

Anyway, we bought a home together last fall and we plan to get married soon.

Wow Reddit ! That's amazing who would have thought ! So happy for you x

Well I went for a man who wasn’t my type physically and he turned out to be the biggest cheat of them all, even paying for sex 🤢. Stick with the hot ones (or at least the ones you find hot) as sometimes giving the underdog a chance gives them a false sense of confidence and they’ve probably been paying to get laid anyway so will continue to do so 😉

Yes! It was definitely lust initially but very quickly turned to love

Do you mean physically, as in based on his looks? No, I wasn't. I found him attractive enough that I could imagine kissing him or more but I wasn't struck by mad physical desire.

For me, the spark is more rounded than just physical or sexual attraction. I felt the spark during our conversations that night because we had similar interests, humour and ways of responding to things. And I enthusiastically wanted to see him again when the date ended because he made me feel happy, liked and respected. That's what I value on a date, intense lust is something that I don't value much really even in a relationship as long as I fancy them enough to have good sex with them.

My friend gave me DP's number as she said he'd cheer me up! We texted for 2 weeks without exchanging photos. Eventually we swapped photos and he was very handsome! I still think he's handsome and it's nearly been 10 years we've been together now!