We've been together almost 10yrs. The 1st 2yrs were amazing physically- frequent and adventurous. The 3rd year things tapered off a bit, but for almost 7yrs now things have been crappy.
DH never wants sex. We've had sex twice in the last year. While i would be very happy with once a week, it's now been almost 5mths since we did anything.
I often feel rejected, lonely, unattractive, frustrated...but i push it to one side for periods of time (periods which seem to be getting longer) until i feel too hurt to keep it in anymore. I can't initiate anything, and have given up after years of 'no'
DH is sorry- he has zero sex drive, but loves me very much. I end up feeling bad for not being happy with my lot, and not wanting to hurt his feelings by going on about it. If i try talking to him about it, it's called ''pressure'', and it goes nowhere.
Aside from this our relationship is great- we're best mates, share friends and interests, he treats me with great respect, we have a laugh, he's a brilliant Dad.
I have no intention of splitting- we split once almost 4yrs ago, and we were both devastated. I went to counselling to get things off my chest, and that helped greatly for a while. I have come to accept that it's not my fault (ie, i'm not hideous) and i know he's not cheating. I don't think he even masturbates tbh.
But where do i go from here? I wonder whether counselling for me would be a good idea again. I don't think relate would help- plus we'd never get childcare to go together.
Sorry for going on- i have nobody to talk to, and feel very sad right now. Any advice gladly received.