Sister in law questioning my social media?!

[beachbumska]

Feel like I am going crazy! My sister in law has asked before why I don’t really post my fiancé on my IG, and it’s because I really don’t post much and I just don’t like sharing my private life anymore after heartbreak. I understand her concerns but it’s really none of her business and I have told her before about why etc.

anyway I made a new instagram lately, I only have about 100 followers, and today I wanted to post to my story a similar photo that I posted yesterday, so I made it a close friends story rather than public (because it was repetitive) anyway, she msgs me saying “why a private story again?!!”

im like huh? I didn’t want to bore people with the same photo, is that bad? And then she backtracks and is like oh it’s your page people want to see photos, and it’s a new page so people want to see it

i mentioned it to my fiancé thinking he would agree with me because he never does. His response was yeah why did you post it to close friends that’s weird and completely made me feel crazy too? He said “who am I hiding from” Like he NEVER has my back. All I expected him to say was why is she even asking you that. So I guess now I have to explain myself to his little sister too? Like what the hell. Again I’m more angry at my fiancé for not agreeing with me that it was totally unnesscary. He is so quick to tell me when I’m being stupid and out of order and has NO TIME for my drama or comments, so why not with her. Sigh. AIBU?

He is so quick to tell me when I’m being stupid and a bitch

Instagram is surely the least of your problems

Agreed

Sometimes I'm sad that I'm single.
Sometimes I'm not sad that I'm single.

Haha. Made me laugh. Thanks guys. But I kinda wanted an opinion on the SIL.

Surely the entire point of a partner is that they have your back?

Opinion on the SIL:
You know that she doesn't respect you, she didn't keep her opinions to herself and she has no boundaries.
You know that your fiance doesn't stand up for you.
If you stay with him, you know what to expect from them both.

Opinion on both :

Doesn't sound like a family I'd want to be a part of :

Rude, disrespectful and obsessed with socials

The SIL can probably be brushed off if you engage less, stop justifying yourself and just bat back to her that she can do social media her way, you can do it yours, there aren't actually rules.

Your DP is a much bigger issue, he isn't so much siding with SIL as they both seem to get a kick out of any excuse to throw insults around. This is a really unpleasant trait, not someone you want to be vulnerable with or have children with.

Use IG your way, if you start doing things to placate this family, really reflect on how you see yourself living for the rest of your life. Good luck OP, it sounds so horrible - clearly you wanted a nice reaction from your photo and they have ruined it.

Well - my opinion is that if you lose the unsupportive, abusive bloke, you won’t have to worry about the SIL any more, @beachbumska.

Seriously - please respect yourself enough not to put up with this shite from a man. There are decent men out there who wouldn’t dream of treating you like this, who would be supportive, and would ‘have your back’ - dump this one and find a better one.

She's a cow, and you need to un-fiance him.

I'm pretty gobsmacked that anyone gives this much of a shit about this stuff.
You should be giving a shit about your fiance being a total knobber.
Priorities.

Is your sister in law your fiancé’s sister? Because if she is actually your SIL and her sibling, your ex husband/wife, is dead then my answer is very different. If she’s just the sister of your fiancé then ignore her (and consider getting a new partner as your fiancé is a while other issue).

This.

I agree with the previous posters who point out that your SIL problem would be solved by dumping your unsupportive fiancé.

Have more self respect, don’t tolerate any of this crap.

Post a public story saying

TODAY [FIANCE] CALLED ME A STUPID BITCH
Tag his sister, then dump him. Hey presto, all matters resolved.
If you choose to marry such a crap man you know fully what you're signing up for.

Why focus on your SIL when you’re engaged to a rude unsupportive gaslighting twat who is playing DARVO games with you and telling you loud and clear your feeling aren’t as important as his sisters?

My husband only ever once in our 12 year relationship called me a bitch (during a fight at a very stressful time) and it came a hairs breadth from ending our relationship.

Please do not marry someone someone who clearly doesn't give a shit about you. He might say he loves and appreciates and respects you, but what do his actions tell you?

With my 11 years of marriage and 16 years together, I can safely say you have your work cut out if your DP doesn't tackle the bull by the horns and set relationship boundaries early. Family and relatives both sides will rightly or wrongly push boundaries sometimes with the best of intentions. I have friends and family where I see even 10, 20 years etc down the line the couple are still grappling with extended family and wider relatives sticking their oars in no sense of boundaries.

This is a very sad world where we live in. The obsession with social
Media is ridiculous. Why can't people just live their lives without all this drama

The SiL doesn’t matter. She’s obviously out of order, but she’s the sister of someone who is supposed to love you but calls you a bitch, so it’s hardly surprising. Distance yourself from the whole family. Stop dating and do some work on respecting yourself and developing better judgement.

I am never ever ever EVER sad that I am single and in the unlikely event that Hell freezes over and I start to feel otherwise, I'd simply head over to Mumsnet and pick a thread at random.

You don't get to pick & choose, I'm afraid.

You've outed your DF as an arsehole and he looks like a way bigger issue than your nosey SIL!

Love this!

Younger women are sometimes weird about SM, I've found (I've caught a bit of judgement/questioning from eg cousins for not posting loads of pics of DS/not announcing our engagement on SM/ not posting holiday pics/ not putting gushy pics and messages on for family birthdays/Mother's Day etc) - it's like they question why you don't want everything out there in the way they do, but as far as I'm concerned, life still happens if it's not all over Insta!

This does kinda prove that revenge via SM would sting them!

It's entirely possible he's put her up to it with little comments about your social media. And you need to dump him, why are you marrying someone who doesn't have your back?

How did she know that the story you posted was private?
does insta show to others that your story is set to private?
or did someone tell her you had a story on and she was blacked from seeing it