Husband has fucked up AGAIN.

[AnnBoo]

AIBU for wanting to move to a new hotel after my husband fucked up and stumbled in at sunrise with no apology?

I'm currently away with my husband and kids, as well as his brother and their family. Holiday has been lovely so far up until last night...

After dinner yesterday, once my kids and niece were in bed and asleep my husband suggested going out for some drinks. I offered to stay home with the kids as I was quite tired. I expect them home between 11 and 12 as my sister-in-law suggested.

at 1am they were all still out and failing to answer my messages so I decided to go to bed.

Woke up at 5:30 AM by the sound of the door slamming as they all stumbled in. I was too pissed to even say anything.

This morning my BIL and SIL have apologised profusely and told me that all of their phones died. Also found out that my husband couldn't stop himself from getting absolutely shitfaced, which meant that instead of driving the hire car back (he's the only one insured on the car) they all had to walk home a nearly 2 hour journey in the middle of the night.

Husband hasn't even addressed the situation, let alone apologized!

I've found another hotel local to ours for a decent price and I'm considering staying there for the rest of the trip. AIBU?

People are capable of staying up all night drinking without coke. Wouldn't jump to that conclusion unless there's other factors.

He went out and got shedded, less than ideal, I grant you op, particularly when you’ve been left with the DC and he probably will be neither use nor ornament today.
But, I personally wouldn’t get too het up about it. I’ve done it, my DH has done it (without coke for either of us as it happens!) I don’t really worry about it as it is an extremely rare (once maybe every 5 years) occurrence. If your DH is a dick in other ways, that needs to be addressed. If this is a one off of him going out and getting blotto? I couldn’t be arsed to be angry. I’d make him look after the kids for a day or two (after he’d recovered) and it would be forgotten.

Just read your other thread OP and it appears this bushy a one off and there’s a pattern of behaviour

Not being with an abusive partner preventing me from spending time out with friends is not exactly having a "low bar".

FFS, the Op was not preventing her husband from spending time out with friends, can you not read? Or are you lacking in comprehension skills? Nowhere does the opening post say or imply that.

There is a big difference between going out and saying you'll be back around midnight and crashing in pissed as a fart at 5.30 a.m., walking everyone up, having left your partner alone to do the looking after of children, being uncontactable, leaving the hire car god knows where, refusing to apologise and being totally fucking useless for at least the next 24 hours. Is that fair, reasonable or considerate towards your partner and children?

Anyone thinking that is remotely acceptable or thinks it is tee-hee funny has their bar set for the behaviour of their adult partner towards them and their children set on the floor.

Damn right I'd leave with my children for another hotel and leave him and his brother and sister in law to stew in their alcohol induced stupor and sort out the hire car. They can get pissed to their hearts content whilst I enjoyed peace and time with my children without worrying or being disturbed by a selfish fool who can't control his alcohol consumption.

I found that odd too. I’ve pulled many all nighters with friends, I’ve never even tried coke once in my life and am totally against drugs,

Oh don’t be ridiculous. People are perfectly capable of staying out til sunrise now and again without drugs.

Ditto. I’m older so can’t do it very often now but I’ve always done all nighters without any drugs.

Even in my 50’s I can still stay out dancing til sunrise - I just need a week to recover now

Being woken at 5 fucking 30 in the morning by a bunch of drunken louts isn't everybody's idea of a quiet night.

👏👏👏

Well said!

And for the posters who say it's 'abuse' may I suggest you read examples of REAL abuse on these pages.

Where one poster had her face smashed in, and had surgery, and also her eyes almost gouged out.

THAT is abuse.

Expecting reasonable, adult behaviour from your husband on holiday is not quite the same is it?

This is such bullshit and always gets trotted out on threads like this. People don't need coke to party all night, especially on holiday.

I don't see a problem really. On holiday, went on the lash with his brother. He's your husband not your son why does he need a curfew?

@MummyLongLegsss anyone wondering where all the entitled me, me, me behaviour with no consideration or thought for anyone else comes from needs only read some of the responses on this thread.

And as if by magic along comes another one who doesn't think adult partners should have a shred of consideration or thought for their partner, they must have fun and fuck anyone else.

Also, read the opening post, there is no mention of a curfew, the three who went out said they would be back between 11 and 12, the OP did not ask them to come back at that time.

Where does it say he fucked someone else?
Yes they said they'd be back around that time and wasn't. OP didn't want to go out so stayed in. Other than apologising that his phone died I don't think he's done anything wrong.

I would be mad that I couldn’t have gone with them and have fomo

Read my post again I did not say he had fucked anyone else, it is a term that states he thought fuck what anyone else wants or needs I am sure you knew that.

You don't think crashing in pissed as a fart at 5.30 a.m., being uncontactable, refusing to apologise, abandoning a hire car who knows where, leaving your wife looking after the children not knowing where you are and when you will be back and then being totally useless the next day is doing anything wrong? You don't think having basic respect and consideration for your partner and treating them with it is necessary? All just about him and what he wants and let the wife just suck it up? Oh and just apologise that his phone (and miraculously his brother and SIL's too) ran out of battery, that's is all you think he needs to do?

Yep, low bar indeed. I treat my partner with respect and consideration and expect the same otherwise I'd be long gone. It's not hard or difficult.

No it's not ok and he needs to be up today and engaging with his children not sleeping off the night before, he still also needs to go and get the hire car when he sobers up (why on earth did they take it to a bar anyway?! ) . I would be furious at being woken that early in the morning, but without a backstory I wouldn't be moving hotels and DH would be beside himself at what an idiot he'd been. So no need to ruin the whole holiday.
However I suspect there's a lot more to this.

Me too but life changes when you have DC

Edit
Not sure why but this has quoted the wrong post!
I was replying to @Alicewinn and her FOMO

Two hours is 6 miles (9.5Kms) approx. I have no problem believing they did it.

Done it myself when I've missed the last train after a work piss-up. (Altho' I did ring DW).

Wasn't expecting this many replies thank you, can't reply to you alll but to those asking for the backstory, yes he's been this shit & disappointing before, it's been a while though.
I went off on my own today to clear my head, and to make sure I didn't get stuck with the kids again.
Got back a few hours ago to find out that not-so-dear husband doesn't have keys to the hire car & thinks they were dropped them on way back to the hotel in the early hours. Hire car company apparently stating £400 to replace the key!?
He suggested the 4 of us (adults) pay £100 each. I have just walked out again, I am livid & speechless.

He is going to be enjoying a long walk whilst he retraces his steps to/from the car until they are found.

Obiv it will be him that pays as he was the driver and he lost them - you weren't even there !!!

I hope he has searched the hotel room / villa wherever you are staying as there is a good chance the keys are there somewhere.

Honestly @AnnBoo just go to the other hotel with your children, this is not a holiday for you or them. Please also seriously consider the worth of staying married to this selfish man. You seemed so much better and happier on your other thread when he was staying at his mum's and that is better for your children too. Please don't waste your life and your children's lives and happiness on this man.

He wants YOU to chip in £100 for keys HE lost - that's a big fat 'hell no' from me!

Blimey OP! He actually expects you to pay a share for the lost keys!!! What a chancer!
Go to the other hotel OP and leave him to it.

I'd tell him and you're charging him £100 for baby sitting all the kids until 5am! Tosser can pay for it out of his own money.