Have I said the wrong thing?

[Loulou560]

Hi
Told my DP something today he’s taken the wrong way, and just wondered whether it was inappropriate? He has a big debt problem he hid from me until I was pregnant with DC2. He is finally sorting it now a year and a half later and I made a comment that I won’t apologise for asking him about what he’s doing as he dropped that bombshell on me at such a time. I went one step further and said that maybe the DC wouldn’t be here if I’d known about it beforehand (meaning I’d have wanted him to fix the problem first before having DC, which I think is quite sensible) He stormed off as if I’d said something awful and now he’s blanking me. I think I told him as he needs to understand the situation he put me in. He may have thought I didn’t want them etc which is absolutely not true. I love them with all my heart. He didn’t let me explain, and maybe i blurted it out due to a lot of pent up pressure on me financially.
Have I said something awful which I can never take back?

OP - are there really ‘lots of very different views’? Because I’m seeing the vast majority saying pretty much the same thing

But as we’ve said, you seem determined to make excuses for his cocklodging and abuse so there’s really nothing anyone can advise because you want to cling on to this man for some unexplainable reason

I am also baffled about why you tolerate this horrible man in your life, OP.

Just reading through your previous threads is illuminating.

He is a nasty POS, and he seems to have ground you right down, so that you no longer value yourself or see your own worth.

So he's in a situation of lots of debt, then on top of that he wastes money just by parking wrongly. This man lacks responsibility. He created children with you so that you'd stay and prop him up. It would be a hell of a lot cheaper for you to split up. You owe him nothing, he provides nothing, he's using you to maintain a lifestyle he could never afford himself. If you can afford the bills on your own, be on your own, as he will drag you down. Never, ever marry him. Your bills will become less if he moves out - council tax rebate, food, amenities etc. There really is nothing to gain from living with him.

i told him I saw the letter on his car seat threatening to take him to court and unpaid parking fines. I think this prompted him

So he didn't make a decision for himself then. If you hadn't mentioned that, he'd just be carrying on the same.

He's dragging you down with his debt and not contributing anything to the household.

Plus he's lied about his debt and even now won't be transparent about how he's going to repay it.

He's dead weight and you can't even talk to him.

I'd end the relationship.

So he’s still spaffing money away and getting into more debt.

So he isn’t sorting his debts. He’s creating more. He won’t even park his car responsibly.

I mean you know who he is by now OP. You are lucky he has not married you. Because if he had he’d definitely have a claim on your house and pensions etc.

Have you had any counselling on your own?

💐

Stop bailing him out, @Loulou560 !!

He is financially irresponsible and, from what I gather (based on PPs as I've not read your other threads), treats you very poorly.

He will not change. This will be your life, forever after.

In your shoes I'd bail out and focus on bringing up your children without this deadweight.

DO NOT MARRY HIM

He will make you destitute

He sounds like a feckless irresponsible head in the sand type person. You're his enabler. He won't change and if anything you're making him worse by letting it carry on.
Why don't you make him leave? Kick him out of your house.
What is the purpose of him being there?

that’s what I’m worried he heard, which is certainly not the case if he lets me explain**

Why do you think he isn't letting you explain @Loulou560 ?

OP what are you so afraid of that you have to keep making pathetic excuses to justify this man's behaviour?
He's dragging you down, making you miserable and will completely ruin your life, and your children's if you don't get rid.
A previous poster said he's got his head in the sand, but honestly, that's you, and you need to pull it out sharpish.
If I sound harsh it's because I'm sick to death of reading on here about women who think so little of themselves that they will put up with all sorts of shit in order to hang on to some loser/rapist/cocklodger/thug (tick applicable).