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Relationships

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Original poster

Men who leave after a baby

66 replies

MadamDragon44 · 22/07/2024 18:06

What are your first thoughts if you hear that a man has left a woman within 6 months of them having a baby together?

OP posts:

Runsyd · 22/07/2024 20:04

CockerMum · 22/07/2024 18:07

He’s a cunt

First poster nailed it.

kkloo · 22/07/2024 20:04

If I hear that he's dating shortly afterwards then I think he's a massive cunt.

kkloo · 22/07/2024 20:05

MadamDragon44 · 22/07/2024 19:39

Should add that he still sees child regularly, multiple times a week

Show quote history

Sees the child as in he calls over? Or does he actually take the child and give the mother a break?

Runsyd · 22/07/2024 20:06

sentfrmmyiphone · 22/07/2024 18:51

maybe she trapped him... he didnt want a baby and she did, she got pregnant and wouldnt 'get rid of it' .. so he stepped up, doing the right thing because thats what is expected of men.. and at 6 months he's decided that enough is enough?

we need to know more before we judge

If he didn't want a baby, then he should have made sure he didn't have a baby. That's what condoms are for.

Women are not responsible for men's fertility.

whatonearthishappenin · 22/07/2024 20:09

Isn’t it very difficult to have anything more than a superficial view on this unless you were in the relationship?

banality101 · 22/07/2024 20:09

If he didn't want to be in a relationship with his partner/wife any more but was still a committed parent to his child/ren I wouldn't think he was a cunt. I'd just think that he was someone who was separated/divorced.

Runsyd · 22/07/2024 20:09

Pinkbonbon · 22/07/2024 19:13

I think maybe she realised he wasn't up to it and chucked him out.

The fact is, probably the majority of kids born, shouldn't have been. People are far too haphazard with creating whole new lives these days.

It's a dangerous buisness. Damaging to the woman. Damaging to relationships. Costly. The world's not in a good place for it. And there are enough kids without mum's and dad's already without making more.

I want to sympathise with the mother but...she took a mad, unnecessary risk and it backfired. Such is life.

People are far too haphazard with creating whole new lives these days.

I'm pretty sure that people are far less haphazard about creating whole new lives these days than at any time in human history.

tiggergoesbounce · 22/07/2024 20:11

I suppose it would depend on why and how he behaved.

Parky04 · 22/07/2024 20:14

YouJustDoYou · 22/07/2024 18:49

This is actually sadly very, very true, and many "fathers" have little if zero connection to the human they helped to create.

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The majority of men do not want children. They only agree to appease the woman.

kkloo · 22/07/2024 20:18

MadamDragon44 · 22/07/2024 19:47

She’s had postnatal MH issues, yes, but not severe.
i meant more that I don’t think it’s acceptable to leave a partner in the months after they’ve given birth to your child.

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I think its acceptable to leave if the tension is unbearable, but don't start acting like you're single and dating people, and they should pull their weight in regards to parenting. That should mean giving the mother a regular break if she needs it, and if he doesn't then I think he doesn't care about the babies wellbeing.

Combattingthemoaners · 22/07/2024 20:33

Another pathetic man who can’t stand the attention not being solely on him.

JohnofWessex · 22/07/2024 21:10

My ex was left within 18 months or so of giving birth to both her sons.

I suggest her penchant for violent and aggressive behaviour had a lot to do with it

BouquetGarni224 · 22/07/2024 22:18

sentfrmmyiphone · 22/07/2024 18:51

we need to know more before we judge

His condom failed?

And she wouldn't consider taking the MAP when he asked her either?

What an unfortunate guy.

sunflowrsngunpowdr · 22/07/2024 22:54

Anyone can leave a relationship for any reason or none at all - it's the way it's done that makes all the difference. If I knew a man did with integrity and was doing his bit financially, emotionally etc that's different to a man walking out and never coming back.

DuplicateUserName · 22/07/2024 23:12

MadamDragon44 · 22/07/2024 19:41

My thoughts are that there are very, very few reasons that leaving a postpartum woman could ever be excusable. Aside from abuse or substance problems I can’t really think of anything that makes it remotely ok

Show quote history

The Mumsnet line "You can leave a partner for any reason", clearly doesn't apply here.

CheekyHobson · 22/07/2024 23:55

My BF left his wife when their child was under one for reasons that I won’t go into but that I think are solid. He co-parented 3/7 nights a week for five years after that while paying child maintenance and the entire mortgage for the home his wife and child lived in. He then became a full-time solo dad for more than a decade when his ex-wife decided to move overseas, and he has a very close and loving relationship with his now-grown child.

I’m sure plenty of people with little inside knowledge assumed he was just a cunt in the early years.

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