I said it before and I'll say it again -- men are a net-negative.
In other words, if you as a straight woman marry a straight man your life is already worse according to every messure. Science says you end up doing more housework, your health gets worse, you make less money, your less happy, and more burdened. That is in the ordinary course of a relationship with a man. So unless a man is actively doing measurable things to make your life better, you should not be with him.
Finances are the bare minimum. Him being a 'good guy' is the bare minimum. It's not even equitable if he's paying for everything, because that is just him offsetting the burden he is brining into your life.
Marriage is shortening your lifespan as a woman and making your life harder than it would otherwise be. Because marriage is not equal. We know that married men live longer, are happier, make more money, have better health outcomes.
Because it's not a question-- women add exponentially to men's lives, but men take from women.
So if the system is not automatically making sure women are getting something out of it, you need to make sure that your getting something out of it, because otherwise all your doing is giving. You've taken on another job. Except it's not paying. You are volunteering to make someone else's life easier.
No, my husband needs to be adding to my life in measurable ways. And, no, that doesn't include love and affection. He needs to be giving me so much more than I am giving to him. That's the only way for a marriage to be truly equal.
For example, I outsource all my labour. The women who get mad are the ones who look like a maid because they get treated like a maid. I refuse to give up opportunities for my husband and let him ring me out. The point of cutting out all unnecessary labour is you get to see for yourself if a man truly cares about you or if he only cares about the free labour and physical intimacy, all of a sudden it's going to be a huge thing when you're not giving like the giving tree.