Boyfriend ‘joking’ about crossing a boundary

[Cheesestring66]

My boyfriend and his friend group all speak openly and sex and make ‘laddish’ jokes about it. When I met my boyfriend 2 years ago I specifically told him I don’t want our sex life spoke about and he agreed, he said he used to talk like this but won’t because I’ve asked him not to.
a few times now he has made jokes about it saying things like “il just tel the guys that you like blank” or “il let them all know about your kinks”. He says this is just flirty banter between us but it really bothers me? Like joking about crossing these boundaries isnt funny to me? For context we are both late 30s. I don’t understand why he is doing it

He and his friends sound immature.

I would be telling him that if he can't respect your boundary of not talking about your sex life then you will have to make sure there's nothing to talk about

How utterly pathetic. Do adults really need to tell eachother what their partner gets up to in the bedroom? Personally I've no shame, and if he tried to kink shame me in front of his mates I'd have a damned good comeback that would shame him even worse.
But just tell him the more he talks about it, the less he's gonna be getting.

Christ, what a man-child. I find men like this a complete turn-off. I just don’t see them as boyfriend or father-of-my-child material at all.

What are his redeeming qualities (if any)? Because it might be worth cutting your losses.

Late 30’s? They sound like the Inbetweeners. Immature little boys

Id be telling him he won’t have a sex life to talk about if he carries on

Sounds very teenage to me, I’d have the ick, can’t understand why you don’t. It’s 0ne thing for him to say these things, it’s a whole other for you to shag him after.

That would make my vagina permanently clamp shut, and the idea of a 30something ‘lad’ doing sex banter with his friends is about as attractive as the clap.

Late 30s and still talking about his sex life with his mates…or even joking about doing it?! Urgh. Not sexy.

You set a boundary and he broke it.

My fella is 35 and wouldn't dare to do this. His mates don't discuss sex. What age is he 16?

Omg thirties!!! Run!

I mean it's childish but it sounds like he's just winding you up to be honest.

Well he might be winding her up.

But tbh he more than likely is talking to his pals about his sex life with OP. It's normal behaviour amongst them and I bet any money he won't want his pals to think he doesn't have a sex life so he will feel the need to make his own contribution.

He sounds absolutely gross OP.

He sounds clueless - it would definitely put me off him. My ex used to tell me about his brothers’ wives and ‘hilarious’ stories about what they liked. I would always tell him I didn’t want to hear about it and that it concerned me that they were trading stories and his brothers would hear about me too. It put me off some of the more interesting things I might have been inclined to do tbh!

Next time he says anything maybe try saying “oh yes, my friends think it’s hilarious that you like dressing up in women’s clothes and being pegged” (presuming he doesn’t 😂). If he’s outraged at the idea of people thinking that about him tell him to calm down as it’s just banter.

Is he 17??

They sound very immature

Men should be able, like women, to talk in confidence to their friends about what they need/want to.

If this is how they are, always have been and they all know that you are loved and respected I don't know what exactly if anything you can do about it.

So not sure what to advise.

Would be a deal breaker for me. It’s really disturbing, boundary pushing.

Grim

Hes a middle aged man discussing his partners sexual preferences with his pals for ‘bants’ and then telling you he does this as a bit of fun.

nope. That would be me out.

I’d be telling his mates all about his butt plugs / cross dressing

How does making " laddish jokes" equate with respecting any woman, let alone OP.

He's dumped, pathetic man child.

I don’t understand why he is doing it

Keeping you in your place.

Either he's talking to his friends about your sex life (which makes him immature, disrespectful, doesn't care about your boundaries and feelings)

or he's deliberately winding you up about it (which makes him immature, disrespectful, enjoys upsetting you)

Or both

Lifetime of wanking awaits him.