Sexting

[goldsocks]

Maybe this will be an unusual post because I haven’t found my husband sexting or anything…

So, I’m a divorced, single mum, and I recently heard from a lovely old friend who I had a bit of a spark with a long time ago (but nothing happened). We started texting and our conversation actually turned to how we’d kind of liked each other. We admitted it, it was nice. Then our conversation turned a bit flirty and then it began being pretty full-on sexting!

Am I mad? Is this wrong? It feels crazy. He has also suggested meeting up etc so it’s not just that. He lives in another city. Someone help me, I’m in my 40s and acting like a teenager. I do trust him, we know each other through work and so our professional reputations are there, if you see what I mean.

Can it be a legitimate form of flirting, or am I some kind of pervert now?

There's nothing wrong with getting your jollies with a harmless sexting relationship! However a note of caution- as someone who's dated a lot and done my share of sexting, if it gets too hot and heavy before you actually meet and have sex for real, it definitely sets things up to be disappointing.

Yes, I’ve kind of realised that! I don’t mind if it’s a bit funny/awkward when we do.

Yeah I'd try and hold off on loads of sexting at least until you meet again. Although you do know him from the past you don't know him inside out and unfortunately some blokes are just after a jolly or just wanting dirty texts and pictures to get off to.

I don't see the harm but please don't send nudes.

@cupcaske123 why is that? I sent one fairly tame pic on a disappearing timer. Or is it because I’m in my 40s and am just being revolting.

Please don't send anymore nudes. You have no idea what he'll do with them and the relationship could turn sour and you then have no control over those images.

He may delete them in front of you but they could be backed up on cloud or elsewhere, he may upload them online. Some women have no problem with that at all but if the thought of him putting them up on Facebook out of spite or onto a porn site bothers you, then don't do it.

Disappearing timer you can still screenshot I think? Either way op you haven't met up with this man for a long time and it doesn't seem you know him all that well tbh, why the rush to start sending pictures and dirty messages when you could just try meeting up and seeing how it goes

Hm, I know what you mean. But he’d lose his career if he did (hard to explain here, but he has a career that had a public, ethical facet). I genuinely think we’re kind of flirting, but I see what you mean.

@Shiningout yes I agree, that’s why I posted. It’s the momentum of it, it carries you away. Like sex itself.

I suppose that was what I meant really, it’s a shame to have to treat it as if he’s a suspicious person or something— I find it hard to get my head around this stuff. I’m in the mood to be uninhibited, I’m enjoying it, but also need to look after myself.

Don't meet up! It will lead to things that will happen it always does whether you are strong minded or not or happy or not or whatever. Just message things that are appropriate no more off that! Or just don't message anymore as you have a significant other half. Think of it this way how would you feel if that was your partner? You got to think of that.

I don’t have a partner. I am divorced, we are single.

Have I missed something? None of them have partners I thought?

Oh crap! Sorry read your post wrong my apologies!! 🙈 yeah ok go ahead do as you wish hun. Your single explore!!

No it was me I read it wrong! My apologies that’s what having a one year old who don’t sleep does 🙈🙈🙈 my fault!

I guess that’s part of it— we all associate sexting with bad transgressions and infidelity, I’m wondering if it can ever be just nice and good (as I’m finding it). I know I’m the wrong age to really understand it.

Another to say enjoy but don't send nudes. As soon as you use the internet to send anything, you've lost control over what happens to it.

Ok thanks ladies. Another question I have is thag do you think it’s really a sign that I fancy him and should make the effort to meet up, or just a mini digital fling in itself. I’m not sure what it indicates— that I’m just a bit pervy or have really connected with someone.

I don't know why you keep referring to yourself as 'pervy'. And how is anyone on here going to know if you fancy him?

Don’t send him anything that identifies your face, even with a disappearing timer it can still be screenshot or if using Snapchat which tells you they’ve screenshot, they just get round it by having a mate / another phone take a photo of it while it’s displayed on his phone. Nothing wrong with flirting like this but protect your facial identity (facial recognition software etc)

It’s just hard to believe this really applies to a nice 40 something man who is in my professional orbit

I mean I’m wondering whether to pursue the connection, or not

Je t'aime sexting. If you meet in real life it may be a bit disappointing because fantasy and real life are different worlds.

In one you're at home in a safe and secure environment and the next you're in a hotel room fully unclad.