Sexting

[goldsocks]

Maybe this will be an unusual post because I haven’t found my husband sexting or anything…

So, I’m a divorced, single mum, and I recently heard from a lovely old friend who I had a bit of a spark with a long time ago (but nothing happened). We started texting and our conversation actually turned to how we’d kind of liked each other. We admitted it, it was nice. Then our conversation turned a bit flirty and then it began being pretty full-on sexting!

Am I mad? Is this wrong? It feels crazy. He has also suggested meeting up etc so it’s not just that. He lives in another city. Someone help me, I’m in my 40s and acting like a teenager. I do trust him, we know each other through work and so our professional reputations are there, if you see what I mean.

Can it be a legitimate form of flirting, or am I some kind of pervert now?

He might be a nice 40 something man in your professional orbit. But he might not, and you have absolutely no way of knowing.

Once they've been taken and they're out there, you have no control of them. Even if they no longer exist, you have no way of actually knowing that.

I had a girlfriend when I was younger that I took photos with during sex. Her idea, but I was very much up for it (This was long ago, so on a digital camera without an internet connection). The photos ended up on my computer. When we split up, she asked me to delete them, and I did. A couple of weeks later, she got in touch, said she didn't believe I'd deleted them, and to please make sure I had. I told her I had already done it. A few weeks later I hear from a mutual friend that she's still upset about these photos, that she's convinced I've got them.

I didn't. But I couldn't prove I didn't, because how on earth do you prove the absence of something. But regardless of the existence or not of these photos, the fact that they had once existed was enough to upset her. She had no control over the proliferation of those photos, regardless of their actual existence.

It's worse now, because the moment you take that photo its up in the cloud somewhere. It's on your own photo cloud, it's on Whatsapps servers, its on his phone. There are any number of ways for someone to access that photo and use it maliciously. It doesn't even have to be the person you sent it to.

Unless you're perfectly happy with the remote possibility that absolutely anyone in your life could see that photo, just don't take it.