Just offloading my mixed up brain at the moment, please forgive me. To set the scene, I'm in a same-sex relationship. For the past three years my partner has lived in my house. She has her own house but she rents it to her married daughter.
A year ago my daughter finished university and has struggled to find full-time work. She has therefore moved back home, and spends half the week with me, and half with her dad. She works part-time and volunteers for a local charity. She also has ADHD and is perhaps a little less mature than many 23 years olds; she has periods of inertia and then periods of hyperactivity, but apart from some quirky personality traits, she's a fully functioning adult, helping out around the house, cooking her own food etc. She isn't difficult to be around.
The problem lies with my partner. She is constantly criticizing my daughter (to me not directly to my daughter), mocking her ways, and saying she needs to move out as we have no privacy. She doesn't have a good word to say about her and gets angry when she knows she's coming home. She says it's not normal for a 23 year old to live at home, and the atmosphere is becoming unbearable.
I feel unsettled in my own home and just don't know what to do. My partner won't ask her daughter to move, so she can return to her own home, she thinks it's my daughter who should go. I know it's not a permanent arrangement - my son moved in for a year after uni, and my daughter is heading off again in September... But I can't bear the pressure of effectively being asked to choose. This is my home, and in my eyes my daughter's too, while she needs it. For the record, my partner also refuses to make any contribution to bills as I earn more...yet wants to make the decisions about who lives here, even if it's temporary. I feel like I'm going crazy, and the atmosphere gets more toxic by the day.
Thanks for reading this xx