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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He’s always so angry

56 replies

ElliLovesDogs · 06/07/2024 00:17

Weve been together 25 years. We are married but on the rocks. Children (school age). Both work full time. Currently renting.

he drinks daily 4-5 cans a night, more on weekends/holidays. Always in a pissed off mood. I feel like im in the middle of him and the kids. Generally the kids behave for me, i spend a lot of time with them, i feel like a single parent. He never steps up. Its all left to me (food shopping, cleaning, running kids to school/clubs, taking them out to play dates/down the park). Hes either sat at home drinking, meeting mates to catch up at the pub or away with mates drinking over a weekend. He doesn’t think theres an issue here and doesn’t believe hes an alcoholic. All i have to do is ask apparently for anything that needs doing around the house. Ive got the whole mental load. He says his drinking is normal. Hes always been a big drinker. I thought he would rein it in once we had kids, he said as much. Just another empty promise

anyway he knows im not happy, ive raised it before.

tonight one of the kids had been naughty and taken the tv controller and hid it in plain sight. H went mad, im talking swearing at the child, shouting, slamming doors and very aggressive. Then starts on me as apparently i dont discipline them. I was trying to talk rationally and calm to him but then hes swearing at me calling me stuff in front of the child. Its not on. I said hes acting worse than a ten year old. Sorry just need to tell someone as i cant irl

OP posts:
XChrome · 07/07/2024 16:23

ElliLovesDogs · 07/07/2024 15:56

Its like today, ive tried to talk to him about last night etc but he wont have any of it. Hes trued to turn it round to be me who caused it all. Ive asked him to leave and he’s refusing. I guess its going to have to be me to leave then. I need a get out plan. I said, how hes acting is abusive and he laughed in my face with a look that im crazy and walked out the room

Edited

Yes, do make an exit plan. Believe me, your life is going to get a whole lot better. The peace of mind you get after leaving a toxic partner is priceless.

liverpoolgal82 · 25/08/2024 13:26

How’s things op? Did you manage to get him to leave?

ElliLovesDogs · 25/08/2024 19:41

Hello, were still living together. Hes still an arsehole and drinking. Ive filed for divorce. I felt such relief once it was submitted! Looking forward to being single 👍😂♥️

OP posts:
BumpyaDaisyevna · 25/08/2024 19:54

ElliLovesDogs · 25/08/2024 19:41

Hello, were still living together. Hes still an arsehole and drinking. Ive filed for divorce. I felt such relief once it was submitted! Looking forward to being single 👍😂♥️

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🙂 so pleased to hear this.

HowardTJMoon · 25/08/2024 20:02

Once you finally leave an angry drunk you won't believe how much calmer things become. Here's to you and your childrens' new life!

XChrome · 25/08/2024 20:05

Great news Elli! You're going to be free. 🥂

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