Offer of a 'gift' from a guy

[Tillybud81]

So I've been messaging a guy for about 6 months, we've only met twice and it's actually even nothing romantic.

We share a hobby and I started following him on Instagram, then we started messaging, nothing too deep mostly about our hobby and occasionally about general life stuff. The chat's sporadic, sometimes a week with neither of us messaging. I've no idea of his relationship status because, as I say, nothing even remotely romantic or suggestive of has ever been said and I'm not interested in more than a friendship.

Anyway a week ago he messaged saying he'd ordered something for this hobby and I said oh I need the same thing, but it'll have to wait now as I need work doing to my car and I'm saving for a house. Out of the blue he offers to buy me this thing (considerable amount of money item) I decline saying it's ok I don't need it that bad I'll get it at some point, he insists saying he'll send them to me. We chat some more then he asks again about the item and I a little more forcefully say no, thank you for the offer but I don't feel comfortable accepting it. He's now since ghosted me, not blocked but not heard from him.

I'm not too worried about hearing from him, I wasn't THAT invested, but it was so weird and out of the blue.

What do you reckon he was thinking? Was he just genuinely trying to be nice and I've hurt his feelings. No one else would accept this surely

Oh I agree with you that some men grab on to nothing, but not all joking is flirting, that’s where it gets annoying isn’t it?

I must remember to tell my freinds I'm not flirting with them then, cos I tell them jokes all the time. I'm hilarious

If he saw it as such that's on him, I didn't flirt so please don't put this on me

You probably didn't flirt but you gave him female attention for 6 months, that was enough for him to think you were interested., if he's shy he wouldn't flirt overtly either

Ok I get it, it was all my own fault for talking to a guy, lesson learned

Haha it's still overgrown now, minus the worst weeds. I'm so lazy... 😅

If it helps, me and male friend once helped a very drunk chap back to his room as we lived in the same halls of residence. Male friend went downstairs to my place to make him a strong black coffee and I said: “Come on then, pop into bed.” Rolled him into his covers fully clothed and then I went downstairs.

My friend had made the coffee and said: “Arlanymor, can you take it up to him because I’ve buggered my ankle in training this afternoon.” Took it back up…

… Was lying on his bed, naked as the day he was born and as I went to put the cup on the floor and leave abruptly he said: “WAIT! We were getting on so well, you told me a joke about a PARSNIP!”

So, the moral of the story is, be careful making jokes about root veg people!

Totally on him. But don’t make parsnip jokes, learn from my mistakes!

I didn't say it was your fault, just that there exists a lot of lonely guys in today's world that are starved of female attention so when they get a little they read more into it than they should.. and that is why you got ghosted, when he realised his mistake in thinking it was more

Ok so now we need to hear the parsnip joke

Well that is the amazing thing - I don’t recall telling him a joke about a parsnip! But I was a rugby player and we included him in our usual drinking/singing games so I think he must have misheard something! I was honestly wracking my brains for weeks afterwards!

Maybe he'd had a few drinks when he offered to buy it and now that he is sober he realises he has a lucky escape when you declined his kind offer to buy you a Broughton.

So he is now pretending to be busy with an engine rebuild in the hope you will forget all about the conversation and not change your mind. When a safe amount of time has elapsed he will pop up out of the blue and say. 'hi, how's you, this is my new chain and sprocket set'

😁

I agree with this.

He's probably just embarrassed rather than anything worse. His ego has taken a bit of a bash and he's licking his virtual wounds.

Update to anyone interested, did a lot of digging and found out he's married (of course he is) and now just today he has blocked me on all SM 😂

Guess I now know exactly what he was expecting 🙄I'm done with males

🙄🙄🙄
Good job he didn't buy you that Broughton then, THAT would have taken some explaining to his wife!

Not being funny but you were told from the start what the score was. Men see flirtatious behaviour in absolutely anything, and all he wanted was some action, not to be your "hobby friend" (Said in an Inbetweeners voice!)

@DianeAbbotsJamjars Not being funny but I have many "hobby friends", male and female, I meet up with and message and not one of them has offered to buy me stuff then ghost and block when I don't accept. He's clearly just a dick but some on here seem determined to shame me for some reason, and latch on to the "of course you were flirting" shite

Don't be so patronising, I was just asking in my OP if I was being mean not accepting the gift