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Original poster

Lonely as a single parent

29 replies

Keydaff4 · 30/06/2024 19:59

How do single parents deal with the weekends alone?

I’ve been seperated from my ex husband and son’s father for 1.5 years. Stupidly fell straight into a relationship with a friend which turned into a confusing situationship. I’m now trying to hold my boundaries and end it for good because once again I’m just not being chosen by someone I love.

So my weekends without my son have been filled seeing this guy which I’m now putting a stop to. Sundays are the longest and loneliest days. I’ve been sat on my phone all day which doesn’t help, went for a run and sorted the house a bit but I just feel so lost. No friends to spend time with as they all have families or in relationships, I’m close to my parents but they are abroad right now.

I’m in therapy but have really reached rock bottom this weekend. I can usually find a positive thought or something to focus on but just haven’t managed it today.

Any tips for managing this lost feeling as a single person appreciated

OP posts:
Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 20:03

Sorry not too much advice to give but just to let you know I’m in the same boat. Sundays are the worst day, for some reason today has been particularly bad. I too was in a crap situationship which lasted a year but occupied my time I guess on a Sunday! It’s very hard as hardly know any single people. Everyone is settled where I live.

Original poster
Keydaff4 · 30/06/2024 20:31

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 20:03

Sorry not too much advice to give but just to let you know I’m in the same boat. Sundays are the worst day, for some reason today has been particularly bad. I too was in a crap situationship which lasted a year but occupied my time I guess on a Sunday! It’s very hard as hardly know any single people. Everyone is settled where I live.

Thanks for replying. Sorry to hear you’re feeling the same but it helps to know I’m not alone. I think the gloomy weather here doesn’t help today! Counting down the minutes until I can just go to sleep - ha!

I’ve just joined the Peanut app as a positive action to maybe meeting some new friends/single mums

OP posts:
TuesdayWhistler · 30/06/2024 20:39

It's not helpful, but I do what I want.. and it's fricking ace. 😁

The key is not to worry about what others do, but figure out what you want to do.

Enjoy hiking? Go for it..
Always wanted to take up kayaking? Now is the time.
You know you've always wanted to have a go at Bob Ross style painting... So do it.. do it.. do it.
That summer you went to Bruges and had too much wine and hung out with the Italian photographer eating strawberries in the nude together.. buy a camera and have a go.

And of you try everything you've ever wanted to try and none of it sticks.. well, you'll have had some fun times and met some fun people..
And if all else fails... Dildos.

🤪🤣

Rania78 · 30/06/2024 20:46

Why do your friends have to be single? I have a mix of married, in relationship and single friends. We all hang out at least at weekends for Sunday brunch and almost every Thursday after work.

I have recently separated as well but even when married I was finding really boring having only married friends and would make sure I hang around with my girlfriends.

in any case, get a hobby, try OLD, start pilates classes, take swimming lessons, start salsa courses ;). It’s fun being single.

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 20:46

@Keydaff4 whats the peanut app? Never heard of that?

I’ve just booked a trip to Berlin. Been wanting to go again for about 20 years! I’m 46 but even going to join a clubbing tour 🤣

Rania78 · 30/06/2024 20:48

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 20:46

@Keydaff4 whats the peanut app? Never heard of that?

I’ve just booked a trip to Berlin. Been wanting to go again for about 20 years! I’m 46 but even going to join a clubbing tour 🤣

What is a clubbing tour If I may ask? Single and 46 as well here

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 20:50

@Rania78 it’s quite hard to just acquire new friends especially if you have limited tone because of kids so you tend to end up with the friends you’ve had for the last 10+ years or so and if they happen to all be settled they happen to all be settled

Original poster
Keydaff4 · 30/06/2024 20:54

Rania78 · 30/06/2024 20:46

Why do your friends have to be single? I have a mix of married, in relationship and single friends. We all hang out at least at weekends for Sunday brunch and almost every Thursday after work.

I have recently separated as well but even when married I was finding really boring having only married friends and would make sure I hang around with my girlfriends.

in any case, get a hobby, try OLD, start pilates classes, take swimming lessons, start salsa courses ;). It’s fun being single.

They don’t have to be single but 99% of my friends are in relationships and just don’t have the time to spend with me, their weekends are spent doing couple of family things. I just feel like it would be great to meet other single parents who have the same free time on the weekends as me.

OLD is a nightmare isn’t it? I’m trying to just learn to be ok on my own and happy single. I do actually like being on my own, it’s just the days like today that are a struggle.
I run but I probably do need some more hobbies 👍

OP posts:
Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 20:55

@Rania78 it’s a viator tour, basically if you are in a large city anywhere you can pretty much join these things on your own.

I went to Thailand on my own for 10 days last year (have kids 80% of time) so last November told ex I’m going…..travel bug has never left me

Cardamomandlemons · 30/06/2024 21:01

Are there divorcees hiking/ camping/other groups in your area? Can be really nice.

Rania78 · 30/06/2024 21:04

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 20:50

@Rania78 it’s quite hard to just acquire new friends especially if you have limited tone because of kids so you tend to end up with the friends you’ve had for the last 10+ years or so and if they happen to all be settled they happen to all be settled

I acquired new friends at 46 many of them married. And I realised many of them had the need to get out of the house. And form relationships which are not supeficial. And open up about their marriage, and what is really going on in their lives.

Rania78 · 30/06/2024 21:05

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 20:55

@Rania78 it’s a viator tour, basically if you are in a large city anywhere you can pretty much join these things on your own.

I went to Thailand on my own for 10 days last year (have kids 80% of time) so last November told ex I’m going…..travel bug has never left me

Nice. May I ask did you book with a group. I also want to go i. My own but a bit scared.

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 21:11

@Rania78 can I ask how did you get the new friends? I’ve struggling to think of the best way

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 21:18

@Rania78 i didn’t book with a group as really needed some headspace at the time on my own. First time I’d ever been in Asia so was pushing the boat out in terms of distance but I find winters here really depressing now. 3 nights in Bangkok and 7 in koh sumui on( 3 nights in spa resort at end tons of solo travel. Lots of comments about how brave I was etc before going but best thing I could have done as also have suffered from chronic fatigue and had from November til may after that trip well and depression free

Rania78 · 30/06/2024 21:39

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 21:11

@Rania78 can I ask how did you get the new friends? I’ve struggling to think of the best way

first I met a friend through a friends. She introduced me to another girl. One day we all went out. All married back then. Our relationship was kind of superficial and we would see each other 1-3 times per year. Then another lady was added to the mix. Up until then we were just acquintances. In the meantime one of them had split with her husband.

One year down the line my life changed. I lost a baby and my husband cheated. To cut the long story short I created a whatsapp group and i vited all 4 to brunch. Then another lady was added to the mix. Married. And we started chatting. When I opened up they did as well abiut their marriages etc. and we started forming a deep bond. And then met other people through them. Joined Tinder and found the guy I am seeing now etc. Someone has to make the start.

Rania78 · 30/06/2024 21:41

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 21:18

@Rania78 i didn’t book with a group as really needed some headspace at the time on my own. First time I’d ever been in Asia so was pushing the boat out in terms of distance but I find winters here really depressing now. 3 nights in Bangkok and 7 in koh sumui on( 3 nights in spa resort at end tons of solo travel. Lots of comments about how brave I was etc before going but best thing I could have done as also have suffered from chronic fatigue and had from November til may after that trip well and depression free

Would you mind to PM me the SpA you went to?

EnglishBluebell · 30/06/2024 21:43

TuesdayWhistler · 30/06/2024 20:39

It's not helpful, but I do what I want.. and it's fricking ace. 😁

The key is not to worry about what others do, but figure out what you want to do.

Enjoy hiking? Go for it..
Always wanted to take up kayaking? Now is the time.
You know you've always wanted to have a go at Bob Ross style painting... So do it.. do it.. do it.
That summer you went to Bruges and had too much wine and hung out with the Italian photographer eating strawberries in the nude together.. buy a camera and have a go.

And of you try everything you've ever wanted to try and none of it sticks.. well, you'll have had some fun times and met some fun people..
And if all else fails... Dildos.

🤪🤣

The novelty will wear off, trust me.

Mackalyn · 30/06/2024 21:46

I have no family and one close friend and my daughter aged 15. I work from home and only have work interactions day to day at the weekend/evening I don't speak to another adult at all. I dread Mondays and dread Fridays.

Newbeginning12 · 30/06/2024 21:47

@EnglishBluebell but what’s the other option? Online dating and dealing with a bunch of arseholes?

Roadaheadclear · 30/06/2024 21:50

Gingerbread is a charity for lone parents. My friends have found that a great source of support and friendship

blacksocks33 · 30/06/2024 21:51

I get it OP.
I miss my boys so much when they're at their dads.
It's funny because single parenting can be SO overwhelming.. but the end of the week you're desperate to Dee clean/have time for yourself. Then once they've been gone and you've done your jobs all you want is them home.
I'm not sure I'll ever get over the greif I dea with whilst they're away ❤️
I get it, you're not alone.
Keeping busy but also getting used to the quiet and accepting it for what it is is a good step forward.
I've had cbt therapy twice, counciling and edmr therapy. I still hurt 😔

Original poster
Keydaff4 · 30/06/2024 21:56

blacksocks33 · 30/06/2024 21:51

I get it OP.
I miss my boys so much when they're at their dads.
It's funny because single parenting can be SO overwhelming.. but the end of the week you're desperate to Dee clean/have time for yourself. Then once they've been gone and you've done your jobs all you want is them home.
I'm not sure I'll ever get over the greif I dea with whilst they're away ❤️
I get it, you're not alone.
Keeping busy but also getting used to the quiet and accepting it for what it is is a good step forward.
I've had cbt therapy twice, counciling and edmr therapy. I still hurt 😔

sorry to hear you struggle too ♥️

and no one will ever understand unless they are a single parent themselves. My other mum friends think I’m so lucky to have ‘time off’ when he’s at his dad’s 🙄

OP posts:
blacksocks33 · 30/06/2024 21:59

@Keydaff4 they are utterly clueless.
My sister is like this. She completely resents the time I get when they're away... she has no idea that I spend the whole time feeling sad because I just want them home 🙈 Each flip of the coin is very over whelming for me! It definitely helps to find other people in your shoes.
How often is your little boy at his dads? Can you work whilst he's away? Do you gym/walk/swim?

Original poster
Keydaff4 · 30/06/2024 22:06

blacksocks33 · 30/06/2024 21:59

@Keydaff4 they are utterly clueless.
My sister is like this. She completely resents the time I get when they're away... she has no idea that I spend the whole time feeling sad because I just want them home 🙈 Each flip of the coin is very over whelming for me! It definitely helps to find other people in your shoes.
How often is your little boy at his dads? Can you work whilst he's away? Do you gym/walk/swim?

My sister in law is the same, resentful
and almost jealous of my situation. I can obviously see the positives (not having to deal with my narcissist ex anymore) but life is HARD.

I can barely stand to be in the house when he’s not here - hence why I’ve spent the last year with someone who’s not right for me.

He’s there every other weekend. I work on Saturdays during the day, it’s the evenings and Sundays that are the worst. I do run but that only takes up 30 mins of a day! I’m considering joining a gym as the next stage or reluctantly getting back on the apps to fill the time with dates 🤷🏻‍♀️ (ew)

I’ve only just started feeling a bit better this evening, knowing he’s now safely asleep in bed and I’m seeing him tomorrow

OP posts:
TuesdayWhistler · 30/06/2024 23:04

EnglishBluebell · 30/06/2024 21:43

The novelty will wear off, trust me.

Show quote history

Hasn't for me yet, but it's only been 8/9 years tbf.