I met a man online through a mutual interest and we have been out on about 7 dates. He seems like he’s a good person and tells interesting stories about his life. The last time I saw him he was a bit “handsy” and I’m pretty sure he’s expecting to stay the night tonight. I’m not altogether sure I want that as I don’t feel he’s very keen on me from his behaviour so far. .
He never suggests anywhere we could go, he says “ what are we doing this evening? “ so I end up arranging/ booking.
I have always been very generous and so are my friends when paying for meals/drinks. We are practically fighting each other to pay. This man, ( he’s not short of money) gets the calculator app on phone and works out exactly what I’ve had as he has had a soft drink and I have a glass of wine . I feel a bit uncomfortable with that so our last date I booked and paid to avoid the embarrassing precise working out.
I showed him pictures of the plants on my patio ( which I’ve put a lot of work into and I’m proud of my efforts) and he said there were too many pink flowers and my patio needed pressure washing ( it doesn’t it was wet not dirty). When he visited my house (which I have taken great care and pride making it nice) he immediately put his phone torch on to look at a slight mark on the plaster in my kitchen. He didn’t say anything positive about my home.
Our last date I told him a neighbour had knocked on my door and asked me out ( I was all flustered as it happened just before our date). He said “ Oh he must feel sorry for you because you look desperate “. He then said he was only joking.
When we’re together he does most of the talking and doesn’t ask me any questions and often asks the same question on the next date so I feel like he’s not really listening or interested in me.
I’m wondering if I’m being over sensitive or I should cancel our imminent date saying I don’t feel that he’s really into me. I have been on many dates over the years and generally I found if a man is keen on you he’ll be happy to plan and suggest date venues/ activities. I’ve never experienced anyone so precise about dividing the bill in the early days of dating- I made it crystal clear I’m happy to pay my whack. He has a multi million business and 2 top of the range cars so he’s not having to watch every penny.
I have a history of getting involved with the wrong men so I’m hyper vigilant in making further mistakes. Am I right in thinking that in the beginning of a relationship that he should be a bit more keen? Also, is he negging me?
NB I’m not interested in his money, I am financially independent and don’t want to move in with anyone- just someone to go out with and have fun with