Hi All,
I'm new here and having a hard time so please be kind.
I am 26 and was in a four year relationship with my (26M) partner up until ten days ago. We own a house together (joint mortgage) which we moved into nine months ago.
His brother is getting married and I went on the bride-to-be's hen do last weekend. It was a trip away from where we live (about three hours drive) to a big house with a spa. I was looking forward to a night out and it cost me about £400 in total. I'd asked my boyfriend what he would be up to whilst I was away and he said he was going for a pint after work on the Friday then picking our dog up from my mum's house. I had a strange gut feeling and felt very anxious whilst on the Hen do as he wasn't replying to my messages as he would normally and he never picked my dog up.
As I was away with his family, I tried to hide my anxiety and enjoy the weekend. Long story short, he wasn't out where he said he would be on that Friday night and he stayed out all night. I only know this as he added find my friends onto my phone so we could see each other's locations. I searched the address and he stayed in a hotel. When I called him the next morning, he ignored my calls. He eventually text back saying he'd just got out the shower at the gym and would call me back in 5. That was a blatant lie as he wasn't even in the same town as his gym. When I eventually got through to him I asked him why he was lying and he said because I can't tell you the truth. He tried to sell me a story that he was out with a friend (who's into drugs) and they'd got a hotel. He then said that he'd been thinking about it and we're not right for one another and he no longer wants to be together. I was devastated. He'd done this firstly over the phone but also whilst I was away with HIS family. I had to leave the hen do early I was so upset. I hadn't driven to the hen do so I had to ask his sister to drop me off at a service station where I got picked up by my mum. The whole thing felt so surreal and like a nightmare. When I got home (to the house we shared) he had taken his stuff and left me a load of mess. He then napped at his parents house the rest of the afternoon before we met up to talk. He was very cold and showed no remorse for what he's put me through. He said he still loved me and asked me to contact him whenever I wanted. I've gone no contact as the whole thing is still so painful.
The most recent thing he did was put a message in the street WhatsApp group that he was moving out. Announcing it to all the neighbours just to humiliate me a bit more.
I'm a very kind and loyal person. I like staying in with a takeaway or walking my dog. I work hard, I'm very predictable. But now I'm left questioning why I wasn't enough.
He used to tell me that he wanted to marry me and that a proposal was on the cards as soon as we moved in together. He said we'd have children and promised me a happy life together. It was my birthday the week before all of this happened and he wrote me a card saying I was his world and an incredible girlfriend.
I feel so hurt and angry. I feel embarrassed and numb. It's not sunk in yet. I'm back at the house with my dog after staying with my parents, it all feels so strange.
I want to keep the house as I've put so much work into it. Does anyone have experience with transfers of equity?
Any support or advice welcome.