Over-Reactive Boyfriend

[xTheLoudLeaderx]

My partner is an addict. He blames me for a lot doesn’t offer me much support or a romantic connection. He’s got a short temper and often shouts at me and raises his voice - even leaves me red in the face because I’m that embarrassed. Then he gives me a dressing down of how he’s got deep rooted anxiety of arguing in public due to his parents and how he was brought up, yet he’s doing the same to ! And worse !

I think some of my post have come across not right. I’d not say I have the Ick. I’d say I’m fed up and I was hoping for a change and to get back to “as we was” but now I’m dealing with a lazy addict I realise this won’t work and won’t ever be “as it was” - classic ! Gutted.

You say he can't go back to his parents - are they alive and do they have space for him? If so, I'd say he has to go immediately.

With regard to the future, OP, I'm worried about you mistaking immediate sexual chemistry for passion. The best type of passionate relationship is often a slow burn, where you love the person because you know him, not just because you want to go have sex with them.

You are getting some really unkind responses here. It sounds like you are stuck and perhaps have a low sense of self-worth - how do you think of yourself? Do you have friends you've confided in? What was your parent's relationship like?

I have been in your position with someone grinding me down and finding it harder and harder to escape, doubting yourself and wondering if you're the problem.

Can you take the responses on this thread as a bit of anger and pride backing you up and cut him out? It will feel so hard and scary, but I believe you can do it.

You sound very strong. Keep coming back here and letting us know how you're doing. You can do it x

What do you get from this relationship?

I do believe some people just attract a certain kind of person, as in I want the nice life and loving relationship - but it’s just not coming my way !

You choose partners. You don't get with them because they 'come your way'. If you choose to be with addicts, arseholes and alpha male types, don't be surprised when they act like those kinds of men do. Nobody has control over who you date except you. Better to be single than with someone like him. Much, much better.

Thank you so much for recognition! I do know my own self worth and (usually) am so confident. But right now it’s on the floor ! Which is the reason for the post.

Most of the responses have made me check myself and realise how many replies have been exactly what I’ve been thinking already !

Most of my friends saw it a mile off and have got fed up of giving me advice and have distanced themselves from my relationship and just see me on my own, like never plan anything as couples.

My dad is my hero and has really looked after me, my mum is an alcoholic sadly (they split why I was about 5) my dads new partner doesn’t want anything to do with me just have to communicate with my dad through text now

Nice username. Suits you.

You know, there's a LOT of entitled, misogynist men out there in the wild, it's hardly surprising the OP has encountered a few of them. It's not like they advertise their arseholiness upfront, they get their hooks in first and many many intelligent, discerning women have been caught out. OP has done a great job of dispatching them as soon as the rot sets in. She should be proud of herself.

He can get a room if his parents won't take him, tell him to check spareroom.

Make his exit swift.

Your home is not a refuge for shitty men. Chuck his stuff into bin liners and drop it off at his parents, change the locks, and send him a text to let him know that’s what you’ve done, hope he has a nice life but the relationship is over and it’s up to him to sort himself out. Then block.

He over-sold himself at the beginning and I’m guessing you were vulnerable. Bit by bit he revealed his true self and shredded parts of your confidence until you felt you couldn’t leave. You need to though. He’s dangerous physically, emotionally, socially, financially, legally and may even affect you work. Do the Freedom Program. Speak to your friends and family. I can’t imagine that no one has noticed. You may even need to speak to the police. It will be difficult, but a life with him will be much more difficult and painful in the long run. You absolutely must not have kids with him or kid yourself that he will change.

Your dad is not a hero if he allows his new parter to isolate you. You should come first for him. Always. No man is a hero. Be your own damn hero. Save yourself every time.

If he can't go to.his parents he'll have yo find somewhere else. Not your problem. Get rid.

Give him a deadline. Parents house or shared house, who cares. It’s not your issue to solve.

I think you need to marry this prince before he gets away. Deep down you know this.

You have fallen for the typical 'alpha male' useless piece of shit. He may look good to on your arm to go out with, but they make shit partners, are often emotionally retarded, usually cheat and never change.
Raise your bar. A lot.

I couldn't live like this. If you can't either, then you need to leave him. Be careful as it sounds like he won't respond well

Why isn’t he your ex?

This is an old thread

If OP is still reading this, I would be interested to see if she kicked him out and is now living her best life.

Kick him out. Where he goes is not your problem