How soon is too soon to say you are falling in love with someone

[Ash2345f]

I’ve been dating in a relationship with a guy coming up 4 months- we hit it off pretty quickly and he said he wanted me to be exclusive and then his girlfriend fairly early on into things (no love bombing). It’s progressed at a natural pace and when we’ve felt things we have just gone with it. We see each other once-twice a week usually sometimes more depending on our childcare as we have children individually. Things are great, so great in fact that I’ve fully fallen for him and starting to get incredibly strong feelings for him. When is to soon to the say the L Word I don’t want to scare him off? Or should I let him take the lead with this one - I don’t want anything to mess this up as he is amazing!

4 months is OK to mention the L word! But the man should say it first.

I personally think if you feel it and it’s going well, it is never too early to tell someone that you are falling in love with them. Imho things can always go pear-shaped - time is not an indicator. Some people match well and have more closeness and intimacy than people who have know each other for years. Ultimately you seem to take things rationally into consideration ie kids etc. so I dont think you are acting out of an emotional state :)

i am going to get shot down in flames for this.... my DH told me after 13 days, yes 13 days that he loved me! I was shocked, and no i didn't reply with 'I love you too'

we are more mature in our years, i think as you get older, you know more about what you do and don't want.

we were married within 6 months of meeting and have been married now for just under 11 years, and i still to this day do no doubt that he loves me.

he's a dick at times, and i could easy stove his head in with a shovel.. but i think thats also normal right?

Thanks- I’ve mentioned to him I’m getting the ‘feels’ and he has said he feels the exact same which is great. I think I’m just going to say it if I feel it when it comes. It’s just so good, I feel like I’ve found the one it just feels different. We haven’t rushed into things been really considerate of each others lives and what we have going on, we want it to be just us for a while before the children become involved.

Is it 1940?

Sounds extremely sensible to me. As I previously said and @beckybarefoot also shown with her own story - if it feels right - that all that matters!
I dont think people should shy away with talking about how they feel.

Why!!!!

Old fashioned values

We said it after 3 months.

Again why!!

Ridiculous and pointless values.

We told each other within a week. It was so clear it was the right thing. That was 25 years ago.

i think when you know you know, but sometimes you don't want to spoil things by maybe saying something too soon.

in my youth i've been in love (or i thought it was love) loads of times, only to realise further into the relationship that it wasn't love, it was probably lust and as soon as the newness wore off and the tarnished bits showed through.. and then you feel like a stupid idiot for using the words when you did.

love is bloody complicated..

Where does the spectrum of falling in love quickly stop and lovebombing start?

does lovebombing have to start after falling in love? i would have thought that lovebombing would be there right from the start

Why should he?

Yes I assumed love bombing starts quite early on but I thought it comes with being extremely clingy and needy?

😂😂😂😂

Don't be so ridiculous

Which belong in the last century

I've only ever said it in a playful, drunken kind of way at first, so it could potentially be brushed off. Without embarrassment.
I wouldn't want to sit someone down and earnestly declare I was in love with them. Purely as I've such low self esteem I'd be too embarrassed if they didn't feel the same. I would see if you feel he is having this feeling pretty certainly before going for it in a serious manner.

Just dont get his name tattooed 🤣 obviously I am joking ❤️🤣

Yeah...old fashioned 'values' don't tend to work out too well for women

Whoever says it first gives power away in the dynamic of the relationship, hence the woman doesnt want to say it first.

My husband and I said we loved each other after two weeks and we were living together in under three months - it would have been sooner than that but we had trouble finding a flat because I was just 18 and he was only 21, and landlords didn't want to rent to us. That was near my 50 years ago and we're still happy together.

Think I said it to my exwife after 3-4 weeks. First main relationship after divorce, 3 months, never. Last relationship. 2 weeks. When it’s right it’s right.

Do explain. Does his penis shrivel and fall off if some shameless hussy says it first?