Boyfriend doesn’t notice me? Red flag?

[sunshinegrey]

Been with him for a year.

Sometimes use my hair as photo 1 and sometimes as photo 2. Use hair dryer and straighteners.

Yesterday was the first time I used it natural as photo 3 (but curlier) and he didn’t notice a difference, no comments.

Then I asked via text and he said it seemed shorter.

Then I explained and he said as it was a walking date and we were mainly side by side he didn’t look at me properly.

He was in pain and is going through a stressful process.

It doesn’t bother me but I find it crazy.
Wondering why I spend 1 year hear styling my hair before dates lol

Do you see a clear difference and are men less sensitive to see it?

it is similar to this and better than the majority of ugly shoes a lot of men wear - but it doesn’t matter because nobody notices anything anyway

I feel I was getting at you a bit in at least 2 of my posts.I hadn't realised your hair was a big issue for you ATM. Therefore I might have understood more why your boyfriend not noticing was so important to you.
So I am genuinely apologising.

Why are you being so snippy, when @Moonlightstaralight was apologising to you ? on

oh I heard the other way
That @Moonlightstaralight would be more sympathetic if wasn’t for the the other thread

No hard feelings

I have prosopagnosia. Face blindness. Not so severe that I can't recognise my children but pretty bad. If someone changed their hair radically I would struggle to know who they were. Not necessarily for ever. But I would feel confused and have to look at individual clues and figure out who it was. If the person is someone I know very well this process is quick. But it's still a process of decoding .

When people say they can picture do they mean like an actual picture? Or like they can remember like...she has a round face and brown eyes and a gappy smile. Or do they actually SEE like a picture on the inside of their head?

@Bobbotgegrinch

I once had a 15 minute conversation with someone who seemed to know me quite well. Faked it as best I could thinking it must be someone I used to work with or a friend of my brothers. Walked off and asked DD if she had any idea who it was. She looked at me stupid and said "It's Dan, your stepbrother!"
This is not describing aphantasia. Ur is describing prosopagnosia.
Aphantasia is the inability to mentally picture something. If someone is in front of you you aren't mentally trying mentally create them.
You are describing an inability to recognise someone. That is more like prosopagnosia

Yep, apparently most people get actual pictures in their heads! I can do what you said, so DP has blonde hair and green eyes and a mole above her left eyebrow etc etc, but I can't actually see her in my head.

A good explanation I read was to imagine "A ball on a table. The ball starts to roll off the table. It rolls off, bounces on the floor and out of the door."

What colour was the ball?
What was the table made of?
How many times did it bounce before reaching the door?

Most people can answer these questions instantly, because their minds populated the mental image with those details.
Some people don't get a full mental picture, so take a second or two to answer while they rerun the "simulation" in their brain.
And some people are fully aphantasic and just think you're daft for asking the question because it's not like there's a real ball.

With regards to face blindness @dunkdemunder , I don't think I have that. The stepbrother example was an extreme case. Usually its a case of me thinking "Is that so and so?" if I spot them somewhere unexpected. I'm reasonably sure it is, but I can't call up a mental mugshot to compare them, so I can't be 100% sure.

And it's not limited to people. I can tell you where the furniture is in my living room right now. But if you changed the colour of the cushions I probably wouldn't notice, because I don't have that mental snapshot for comparison.

It's not a red flag unless you meant should your OP consider you texting him over this a red flag? In which case, yes he should.

DP not OP!