Father on birth certificate

[TidySwan]

I gave birth to my baby just over a month ago. I am a young mom (19) and the baby's father is also the same age. I registered my baby as quick as I could but the father wasn't present meaning that he is not on the birth certificate. I am still with her father but don't know how to tell him that he's not on there. My reasoning for him not being on there is that we are a young couple and if I'm being realistic there's a chance that we won't stay together. He is also highly immature and I don't trust him to make decisions on her behalf. We also broke up late last year (we got back together sometime this year) and he reacted very petty. I'm worried that if we break up again he will do the same thing, only this time use my baby against me. I need advice on how to tell him or if I should add him onto the certificate (I have a form which would enable me to do so). I just want what's right for my baby.

He is a father and should be on there no matter the status of your relationship and what you think of him. He has as much of a legal right as you do.

Most of the comments on here ignore the facts that

a) he knows when the baby was born
b) he knows that he needs to register as the baby's father - and if he doesn't, that is HIS fault. He's a parent, it's his job to know.
c) nothing is stopping him from registering himself now, or applying to be added at a later date.

It is HIS RESPONSIBILITY as a parent. He's a grown up. It is not the OP's responsibility to coach him.

No, unmarried fathers can’t just go and register a baby without the mother present or her having signed a legal document. Yes, he should have asked “when are we registering the birth” but for her to just do it without telling him is very sneaky, he might be about to ask/make arrangements tomorrow for all we know.

My registrar even tried to call dd's dad while we waited for him, which she kindly did for 15 extra minutes to give him the benefit of the doubt. As he did with the CSA he completely ignored it. If he cared he would be there like every other dad who manages to do just that.

He can go to court to get PR, as my ex has decided to do now he is back in the country (still not paying maintenance) and wondering how he can hurt us all over again. He's since managed to spaff thousands of tax payers money up the wall in CAFCASS and court fees just to try this, despite the fact she has made it clear to him she doesn't want to live with him.

If you think this is somehow anything other than the man not being on the ball and parenting alongside OP I think you need to actually try to use the system. It's very easy to try for PR even when you haven't been in the child's life.

I agree, it is a very calculated and sneaky move.

I honestly can't figure out why people support this. If there was a comparable situation where the father went behind the mother's back and did something that affected her ability to parent, all because the father thought their relationship wouldn't last or that he thought she was immature, there'd be uproar on here.

My wife was in hospital for a while after the complicated birth of our little one. We had both completely forgot that we needed to register the birth. She wasn't in a fit state to travel to the registry office and I went alone. For all we know, the father could have put it at the back of his mind owing to other things going on.

How spiteful of you. I hope you won't be expecting child maintenance when you split up. He's 19, most men are immature at that age, specially compared to women. If he's so immature, why did you equally do an immature thing and have a baby with him?

I feel sorry for him.

Everyone is saying ‘If the father couldnt be bothered to turn up at the appoitment’

The OP DID NOT say he couldnt be bothered to turn up, he may of been at work

Everyone has just PRESUMED he couldnt be bothered

We also broke up late last year (we got back together sometime this year) and he reacted very petty.

What did he do op?

You sound very sensible op personally I just wouldn't tell him unless he asks directly then tell him the truth. If he was that bothered he would have made sure he was with you when you registered your child.

That’s an entirely different situation to just completely hiding it from the father as the OP says she’s done. If the father is told and can’t be arsed than that’s his own fault, but as far as we can tell from the OP she didn’t even tell him the registration was happening.

https://www.gov.uk/adding-fathers-name-birth-certificate

Form.....

There you go then, if he is bothered he can do that.
I am not sure what the issue is - it is clear there are many ways he can add on if he wants.

In my experience and opinion, there’s no guise about it. It’s often a Safeguarding measure on the part of the mother who is prioritising her child’s needs.