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Original poster

I had paid deposit to move out of married home. I backed out of lodger agreement, and lost half the deposit. Was this fair?

40 replies

Hecubam · 21/06/2024 23:46

I am wondering if I am being unreasonable here, so would appreciate some other views.

The background is that I got married to my husband a few years ago and he has been controlling in several ways. We don't have kids. I have been putting it off.

I had been thinking about leaving for a while. I live in London and had looked at rooms to lodge in on spare room. I visited a place - a house in south London owned by a married couple who have lodgers. It seemed good and I paid the deposit (£450). They said they'd like me to move in but didn't mind when, because they were flexible.

I was in contact with the wife, who I got on with. I told her I was in a relationship and was moving out. I didn't give too many details and didn't specify I was in fact married.

Anyway, I couldn't move in the end. A mix of fear of losing my husband and fear of being alone. I was scared. So I told her - about 10 days after paying the deposit - that I couldn't move in and said I was really sorry for the inconvenience. I told her it wasn't the right time and it had been difficult.

Anyway, she kept back £200 of the deposit. I know I don't have any claim on it, because I paid it as part of the agreement I'd move in.

But should she have kept this? It feels like a lot of money to lose.

OP posts:
PrimaDoner · 22/06/2024 10:10

DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 22/06/2024 03:53

None of that is relevant to the OP because she wasn't a tenant she was a lodger and you're talking about a different type of deposit.
As you say when renting a flat as a tenant you can be charged a non refundable holding deposit which you lose if you change your mind about renting the place. That's what OP paid. You're talking about a damages deposit which is a different thing.

Edited
Show quote history

I suppose the question is whether this was made clear when OP paid the money

PrimaDoner · 22/06/2024 10:16

Lellochip · 22/06/2024 02:02

I'm not sure everyone else is right, though I'm no expert on tenants' rights and know even less about how lodgers compare legally BUT tenancy deposits are meant to be returned, minus any costs. You've cost them nothing, without an agreed tenancy start date she can't argue you had any rent arrears, and obviously no damages etc to consider.

Landlords can charge a holding deposit while you're in the process of applying etc, but that's meant to be capped at a week's rent - again this might be different for lodgers though.

Could you get any advice from somewhere like CAB or Shelter?

That is useful information – I don’t think people are generally aware of this

I wonder if this could be why the LL retained £200 (for a room at £800 a month)

NewName24 · 22/06/2024 16:22

I don’t think it’s unreasonable or unfair of them to expect compensation for the time the room was off the market when they were expecting you to move in. They could have been looking for another lodger and filled the room sooner. But they should have been clear that your money was at risk if you changed your mind.

That is implied by the fact you have left a deposit.
It is literally what a deposit is for - a sign of commitment, that you forfeit if you then back out of the agreement.

MartyFunkhouser · 22/06/2024 16:24

That’s fair, imo.

PrimaDoner · 22/06/2024 16:25

NewName24 · 22/06/2024 16:22

I don’t think it’s unreasonable or unfair of them to expect compensation for the time the room was off the market when they were expecting you to move in. They could have been looking for another lodger and filled the room sooner. But they should have been clear that your money was at risk if you changed your mind.

That is implied by the fact you have left a deposit.
It is literally what a deposit is for - a sign of commitment, that you forfeit if you then back out of the agreement.

Usually with rental it’s to cover the cost of any damage. They hadn’t set a move-in date so can’t be claimed to be rental arrears. It’s all a bit vague as they don’t seem to have had an agreement

betterangels · 22/06/2024 16:35

I don’t think it’s unreasonable or unfair of them to expect compensation for the time the room was off the market when they were expecting you to move in. They could have been looking for another lodger and filled the room sooner. But they should have been clear that your money was at risk if you changed your mind.

Holding deposits are not new. I was charged 300 to hold a flat, and that was London in the 2010's.

JurassicClark · 22/06/2024 16:38

I think she was very reasonable in only keeping part.

I hope you are able to find a way out soon.

ebts · 22/06/2024 16:39

Hope everything works out for you OP.

RawBloomers · 22/06/2024 18:57

NewName24 · 22/06/2024 16:22

I don’t think it’s unreasonable or unfair of them to expect compensation for the time the room was off the market when they were expecting you to move in. They could have been looking for another lodger and filled the room sooner. But they should have been clear that your money was at risk if you changed your mind.

That is implied by the fact you have left a deposit.
It is literally what a deposit is for - a sign of commitment, that you forfeit if you then back out of the agreement.

No, it is not. Deposits can be for a range of things and if they are at risk if you change your mind the terms under which they are at risk need to be spelled out clearly, not simply implied.

pandasorous · 22/06/2024 19:33

@Hecubam just wondering how you are doing OP? given you made the decision to not leave in the end.... are you managing ok?

Original poster
Hecubam · 26/06/2024 00:27

Thank you everyone for the replies.

I was questioning it because she said she was flexible on the move-in date. She also said she wasn't in a rush for someone to move in. But I see the point that some of you made that she might have turned down other people.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hecubam · 26/06/2024 00:31

pandasorous · 22/06/2024 19:33

@Hecubam just wondering how you are doing OP? given you made the decision to not leave in the end.... are you managing ok?

Thanks @pandasorous . It feels strange, because I tried to make a decisive step by paying the deposit, but then I couldn't actually do it in the end.

OP posts:
Boltonb · 26/06/2024 00:37

I think you were lucky to get anything back.

But I also think you’re focusing on entirely the wrong issue. The deposit isn’t your problem. Your controlling and unpleasant husband/marriage is what needs your attention.

You clearly know that you need to leave. It’s hard, and you didn’t manage this time. But that doesn’t mean there can’t be a next time. Keep thinking about your exit strategy. Good luck

TableTabler · 26/06/2024 09:40

Lellochip · 22/06/2024 02:02

I'm not sure everyone else is right, though I'm no expert on tenants' rights and know even less about how lodgers compare legally BUT tenancy deposits are meant to be returned, minus any costs. You've cost them nothing, without an agreed tenancy start date she can't argue you had any rent arrears, and obviously no damages etc to consider.

Landlords can charge a holding deposit while you're in the process of applying etc, but that's meant to be capped at a week's rent - again this might be different for lodgers though.

Could you get any advice from somewhere like CAB or Shelter?

She wasn't a tenant. She was a lodger so none of this is relevant

Slugsandsnailsresidehere · 26/06/2024 09:42

Did your written agreement term the deposit as non-refundable?

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