Family member keeps asking to borrow money

[SunshineonLeaves]

Not much and they always pay it back but it puts me in a really awkward position.

I earn more than them but I don’t see why I should keep helping them out because we’ve made different choices.

In addition we recently had a small inheritance each, it’s none of my business what they spent theirs on but it shows what they are like with money.

Should I be the nice person and help them out or stop being a mug?

In what way does it put you in an awkward position?

Because I don’t want to lend it but feel bad saying that.

They don't seem to feel bad about constantly asking you for money though, do they?

You are being taken advantage of.

If they pay it back OK. But why do they have to keep borrowing if they pay it back?

What's causing the issue of always having to ask you but paying back?

That’s exactly my point, me helping them doesn’t solve the problem of why they keep needing to borrow. I resent them putting me in this position

If they can afford to pay it back, then they shouldn't really need to borrow it in the first place. They are spending money before they have it, and then when they get the money they have to pay you back, so they are at square one again.

You are enabling this behaviour.

They don’t earn a lot but are also bad with money - god knows where the inheritance went, I’d hoped they would use it to get back on their feet a bit

Well then that's what you need to tell them. It is time for some tough love.

"I can't lend you any more money, it's every week and it's too much. I know you give it back but it's making me feel uncomfortable"

Perhaps they need a bit of help making a budget, you could offer to do that if you were feeling nice but you are absolutely within your right to say no more borrowing and to stop asking thank you.

Thank you, I do need to grow a pair I think! I have said yes but told them this will be the last time - I think that’s reasonable

If you've told them it's the last time, I hope they pay you back.

Sometimes borrowers only pay you back so you'll lend again.

You are not being a mug if the money is being repaid. But if you are uncomfortable with the situation you are free to say no.

I have a family member who asks to borrow every few months …never large amounts …100, 150….once 400…..they have always paid paid, I can afford it so I never refuse…..they always give me a date it will be paid back …..and I check my bank on that date and the money is always there …..I don’t think my family member makes good money choices …..but it’s none of my business….they ask I lend, they pay back….we are all happy

@SunshineonLeaves just say that you dont have any money so you cant lend it!

You are enabling them.
It is perfectly reasonable to say No.
As to your inheritance, tell them it is invested in a pension fund and out of reach indefinitely.

More
Fool you

“Okay, but this is the last time. I’m fed up with being used as a bank now.”

if I could afford it and they always paid it back, I would lend it.

Best way to get rid of someone who always asks for money is to ask them to lend you money instead. When they ask you, you say I was just about to come and ask you to lend me x amount.

"I'm very sorry, I know I said I can but in fact I can't as I've invested what I have spare and can't access it without incurring penalties"

"I'm very sorry, I need to go back on my promise to lend money as I've got it earmarked for another project"

Why? I like my family member ….they been lending for over 20 years….always paid back…..if there was ever a time they didn’t I wouldn’t lend again and I can afford to lose 400 quid without it making an impact on my finances….why am I a fool?
you sound fucking charming 🙄

I resent them putting me in this position

You are in the driving seat here. No-one can make you do something you don't want to do.

'Sorry, I can't any more, I've got to pay for......' increased electricity bills, increased car/house/personal insurance, higher food bills, council tax, etc.'

Breaking the 'oh, I can always borrow the shortfall off Sunshine' habit will help. They will either budget better or find someone else to borrow from.