Men who are unaware their child isn’t biologically theirs

[K8ate]

Hearing stories and seeing various online statistics, the average percentage of men who are unaware that their child isn’t biologically theirs ranges from 10% upwards.
Surely these figures can’t be accurate?

I saw that.

His biological father thanked the father who brought him up, because the biological father's own father and his family disowned him.

The mother in the case acted oddly. Neither the boy or the two fathers were in the wrong.

I've known a few people who've found out in adulthood that their father or parents weren't who they'd been led to believe. But in all cases the parents involved knew the full story, they'd just lied to the child. I can't think of any who I know for sure are being brought up by a man who believes he's their father but isn't.

I thought the biological father in it was dead and they visited his grave. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong

I would have thought more like 2% (which is still pretty high tbf!).

Less if people actually bothered to get married first. Not that that stops cheating of course but I'd imagine women have less interest in multiple sexual partners if they're actually in secure marriages before children are introduced to the picture.

Easy to be 'on a break', have a bit of fun then woops, you're back together again and of course, don't want to fuck that up so might lie about a pregnancy origin. Especially if you're not sure on the dates yourself. Denial and all that...

...actually I've convinced myself, it could be closer to 10% these days right enough.

The paternal biological grandfather had died a few months before.

Basically the guy ended up with two dads.

Edited to say:
The son visited the grave to talk to a paternal cousin but the cousin was not put in camera. He then took his biological father to the grave. This is why you remember the grave so much.

I remember it because the son was clearly part black so don't know how the mother could tell such a big lie.

Well yes. Sometimes it's bleeding obvious that the child is related to the father!!!

History shows what you have written isn't true.

In the Victorian era because only the very rich could get a divorce by an act of parliament, other people acted like they were "married" when they were actually married to someone else, or men simply had two families but weren't married to the second woman.

This happened to my current partner. His ex became pregnant and had a baby. He later thought the child didn’t look like him but brushed it to the side in his mind.

In an argument his ex said the baby was not his. He insisted on a paternity test and Lo and behold baby was not his. She had been cheating. he had wasted a lot of time an led energy but luckily the baby was only a few months old at the time he found out.

So traumatic for him. It’s unforgivable.

I don't think we can compare the victorian era to today in this regard.

This happened in our family, there is absolutely no way my siblings and I share the same biological parents, my two siblings 100% have a different biological dad as they are both the mirror image of our biological mothers boss at the time.

An ex colleague had two children and was bizarrely open that her partner wasn’t the biological father, she had multiple affairs, so deep down he must have known.

Years ago before DNA testing was widely available for people to use for family tree sites etc., I was doing it the hard way with paper birth, marriage and death certificates. I mentioned to my elderly uncle what I was doing and he said: "when you shake a family tree, be careful what falls out".
And he was right.

I suspect that as more of us search our DNA ancestry we'll see it's more common than many people think.

I know of three cases where the dad knew the mother was pregnant but didn't want to get involved. The mother didn't want an abortion so she and her new partner raised the child as his own. Even if the new 'dad' is happy to do this, it's unfair on the child and any siblings as they have a right to know who their parents and siblings are.

I think that as with adoption, it's best to be honest with children right from the start.

How? I understand some from early relationships, a few from cheating, maybe a few from women desperate for a baby but with men who aren't fertile (or not very) but just looking at the mums at school I can't see even close to 10% who would even have the free time to cheat nevermind want to.
Even looking at different areas surely it'd be more like 2-3% at most? As I'd imagine in most cases any man who wasn't a 1 night stand would see the baby and want to know if it was theirs.

I'd have thought 5-10% as well.
My eyes have been opened in recent years to the sheer volume of people having affairs. Women may well decide that their life partner would be a better father/ dont want to leave/don't want to risk being alone etc

That would also logically be mostly from other generations where there were many more factors such as shame of sex before marriage, rape being more common, or death of the biological dad from illness being more common.

I think 10% is probably close. I have some experience of this in my work and it’s not as uncommon as I once thought. Usually, women who don’t want to be single parents will just say it’s his, even if there not 100% sure. It’s not nice but I think having a DNA test if you’re in any doubt is probably sensible

I call bullshit on these figures. (Not calling you a bullshitter @K8ate ! Just the figures.)

I seriously question them. Because nobody can possibly know the true figures, without DNA testing everyone!

There is no need to test everyone, just a percentage

To lie about a childs paternity is obviously the woman's fault ffs. It’s a really shitty thing to do to two men and a child.

You'd only need a risk of less than 1% to make that a prudent policy.

Yes, years ago it was normal to be faithful to your partner but nowadays it seems to be normal to be unfaithful.

I read somewhere it was 1 in 6 children in the uk

What percentage? 1%? 5, 10, 15, 25, 50, 60, 70???

Unless you test 100%, no-one can confirm how many men are not the biological father of their child. Not without testing every last man in the world.

The figures are histrionic bullshit.

It's not the main reason though is is, they say that but in reality they want a virgin bride because they're statistically more likely to be young women with no relationship experience and are more vulnerable to the manipulation and misogyny from older men.

I would 100% support DNA testing at birth but don't tell me men want virgins to be more secure about their parentage and oh how long does that supposed security last after they devirgnise the woman???

Professor sue black says that in cases of missing children the police take a dna sample from the mother. They also take a dna sample from the "father" - but the father's dna is never tested. Because if they tested it, theywould have to tell the ones who weren't really the fathers. It was also professor black who said it was 1 in 6.