hi everyone. I went on holiday to USA a couple of months ago, met a great guy over there on tinder and had 3 dates with him in total - went no further than a kiss. Both early 30s, no kids. We clicked from the start and spent all the time laughing and having really good interesting conversations.
He’s kept in touch with me since I’ve been home in the UK, always hinting that he’d love for me to go over or vice versa but I don’t have any free time until September.
I randomly have an unexpected week off next week due to something else falling through, and some of my friends are going away on a break for a few days anyway so I said I’d join them but it’s pretty expensive. When I was chatting to the American (we don’t speak daily btw) I brought it up and out of interest had a look at flights to USA return and they were £450 which I thought was reasonable, considering I’d be staying with him. We agreed I’d come over for the Long weekend in question, 4 nights in total.
I told him repeatedly I was in 2 minds as another girl who was suppose to go away with my friends had dropped out and I could have her place but I’d need to let them know asap as someone else wanted to go also.
He was asking me if I’d ever consider moving to the USA, what was I looking for etc and I just told him I wanted to have a fun weekend and see what happens! No pressure. he asked me to let him know if I was going to come over asap.
the next morning, due to the time difference, he was still asleep but I chose to see him, so I booked the flights through a third party booking app which are non refundable. Didn’t think there was a chance of it changing considering It’s only next weekend. I sent him the confirmation and we both expressed we were excited! We messaged back and forth a bit on Saturday night and a little on Sunday.
I reminded him on Monday that he would need to book 2 days off work for when I am over and he was kinda vague about it. Then I didn’t hear from him Tuesday and today I’d had enough so I messaged him to ask if he had indeed booked the annual leave, and as I hadn’t heard from him I felt a bit vulnerable coming over alone all of a sudden and that I felt his energy had shifted.
his response “hey baby! I’m sorry I’ve been busy with work and have been under the weather. I’m finally feeling better, I was really excited to see you. But something happened with my family and I have to help them out financially. So I’m stretched a bit thin at the moment.’ I know you have the flight booked but now may not be the best time”
I told him I didn’t care really about doing anything expensive and would be happy to just chill with him at his apartment, but this didn’t seem to budge him.
I reminded I had let the space on my friends holiday go so now I couldn’t even join them, and if he wasn’t sure he should have said so on Friday! I also said the flights couldn’t be changed/refunded. He just kept apologising. When I pressed further, he said he is financially strapped until July 1st and he feels pressure from me!! I couldn’t believe it. He was so eager for me to come over last week. I asked if he’s just met someone else and he said absolutely not.
we got into a bit of a row and in the end he sent me half of the money back that I lost on the flight, but I’m still so gutted. Last Friday we were chatting about going to the beach for the weekend maybe and trying a restaurant near his that he thought I’d like.
We really hit it off when we met, so I thought, and he’s gone to so much effort to text and FaceTime since I’ve been back - I can’t wrap my head around why he would change his tune so much just a few days after I booked my flight? Any opinions xx