Ex wants to meet up

[Frappy123]

My ex of 2 years recently asked if I wanted to have dinner. I agreed. This comes after I reached out to him a year or so ago ( he ended things) to see if we could meet. My intentions being to try again. He agreed to talk via text first and ultimately decided not to meet me and ended it with he will always have feelings for me, wished me the best etc. It was at that moment I finally decided to let go and move past this, got myself into counseling and was doing great. Until 4 months ago he sends a random text, just a link to an article about something he clearly knew I'd know about (my fav golfer being disqualified) with a laughing emoji. I ignored it. WTH? You told me you didn't want to see me. Well in May we started talking a bit, just light conversation and not often. He's now asked me to dinner. He said he's excited to see me and catch up. What does that even mean? I still love him. Catching up and parting ways will be hard for me. It would be too hard for me to be friends also. Ugh. Confused.

I did that, yesterday! Finally. It’s so many years past due :(

It’s really difficult, and you need to be strong. Listen to what other advice those closest to you but have a voice and a mind of your own. Only you know what’s right.

i’m in a very similar position - broke up with my ex 2.5 years ago, due to issues my end, tried to reach out two years ago and got no where/ got hurt and recently they reached out to me.

We met at the weekend and things ‘happened’ - I don’t think I want a relationship with them, but I want more than friends and a FWB scenario but don’t know what they are wanting.

no matter how strong you think you are, whatever the outcome, it will mess with your head.

Well done for blocking him OP. And deciding not to meet.

This man is your enemy and has already hurt you. He gets no more chances.

💐

He's looking for a easy shag.
Or he's one of those assholes who can't stand the idea you're over him, so dips in and out trying to get back in your head. For his ego.

Or, whoever he left you for/his recent partner has gone. Some men can't be single.

Look, he broke up with you, what a year and 4 months ago. Time to move on!

Just 'thanks for the offer John but no I think you were right before, the past should remain in the past. Wishing you sll the best though - susan'.

Then block once it's been read.

Oh great! Good on you op. Life's too short.

Thank you. I didn’t let him know I changed my mind. Just blocked him. He deserves nothing more.

Thanks! Except I didn’t tell him I changed my mind. Simply just blocked.

Sounds like he's trying to take out an insurance policy, give himself a safety net, get you back onboard as a back-up.
Run a mile!

He's had his chance.

@Frappy123 Catching up and parting ways will be hard for me. It would be too hard for me to be friends also. Ugh. Confused.

Probably he misses your friendship, maybe he's lonely, maybe he's horny or just wants to test the water to see if you're still"game", it doesn't really matter because whatever his gig is it doesn't work for you. Just send a brief message in the lines of: " Nice chatting but I've moved on with my life and not really interested in meeting.x".

Good decision OP! Don’t repeat my mistake: I met up with my ex, 3 years post break up, and ended up feeling traumatised all over again. Never ever ever again, some people never change.

Absolutely what I would have done too.
Onwards!

If you ever had any doubts, now you know it was him who was the problem, not you.

I hope it gives you some perspective and you can completely let go now.
🌻

It's time to block him and move on. Likely he's trying it on with you because he's between relationships and you might be good for a shag. Don't let him use you.

Thank you. Still hard to this day, something that started 7 years ago. So much trauma, still things to work through. I’m sorry you endured that, I can imagine the pain. I can’t do it to myself, as much as I’m tempted. Because, like you said, some people never change.

Thank you all!

Thank you. All this set me back, just as I was getting on. It’s like they know.

i hope this does it, that I can can back on track like I was.

I had doubts, all the time. It was probably the most I’ve ever ever had so many doubts in my life. I was a bit of a mess lol

yes, onwards! Thank you. 💕

Thank you for replying! Whatever he’s up to, I’m sure it’s to benefit him in some way. But how dare him open up my wounds again.
I did block him and didn’t even let him know I’m out on dinner. He will figure it out when he decides to text and plan it. 😬

This. He wants you as his ego boost. Men who want you AND are worthwhile don’t jerk you around or throw you away.

Thank you. I think ego boost also.

So true, he threw me away more than once.

How painful for you. He’s using you to fill a lull I think. You deserve better. Decline. He thinks he’s got you in the palm of his hand. He missed his chance(s).

Oh gosh, I feel your pain. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
I hope you find the strength to get through this and can move forward, whatever that means for you. In my experience, it rarely works when trying again. I went back to him several times, nothing changed.

sending you strength

I wouldn't meet up with him, he hasn't treated you well. And I expect he thinks he can just pick you up and drop you when he wants, you're worth much more than that.

I agree with tallgal92 you will be used as a stop gap and the minute he meets someone new you will be dumped. Never go back. If he had wanted to in the first place he would have never let you go and certainly for over a year. Tell him you have changed your mind then block him for your own piece of mind.

Maybe you should rtft or at least the OPs posts....from 2 months ago

@Frappy123 sorry not same situation but the use of the term ‘catch up’ reminded me of my recent ‘relationship’. He used to use that term when we would arrange to meet and I was actually seeing him at the time. It always sat really uncomfortably with me like I was sort of old pal who he hadn’t seen in a while. What was I thinking…,….

He's not met anyone yet and you're his backup or he's met others and realised how cushy he had it with you - you broke up for a reason, respect your decision & yourself !