Can I have a rant about dating app?

[Verytiredofwaiting]

I am a novice, so had a scout round on this board and went for Bumble, incognito to find my feet. Looking for a man mid 40s to mid 60s. These are the things I'd like to moan about please:

75% of them have a dog
80% of them are in lycra
A ridiculous number claim sailing as a hobby - we're 90 miles from the coast
They say non smoker then one of their pics has them smoking a bloody cigar!
Or worse, they say single and then have a pic wearing a wedding ring!
Then there are the ones with nothing on their profile, or just 'message me and ask' no mate, how about you manage to string a couple of sentences together so I can see if there's any chance I'd want to message you?
And the ones who have 'this app is shit no one replies don't bother if you're not going to message' as their bio,no thanks you sound too angry if you're going with that rather than saying something about yourself
And the ones whose bio is 'don't use fillers or have duck lips they make you look shit' - I don't like that look either, but I certainly don't want a man who thinks he can tell women what they should do with their faces

Almost makes me regret ending it with my avoidant workaholic only wants me when he's bored ex. At least he can manage couple of sentences and doesn't smell of cigars.

Anyone want to have a moan with me?

I like the up your chin shots taken in the car the best. Such a flattering angle!

My experience of dating apps was mainly men wanting sex but not actually saying that because well- a lot of women wouldn’t be interested. Some were of course married. Some the conversation would be WUU2? And that would be it or fancy meeting up? After a message or 2.

i did EVENTUALLY after dealing with many that wasn’t compatible with my want/needs find my lovely partner just as u had almost given up! We now have a 1 year old together and are very happy 😊

Oh yes I had so many like this. I swiped left on any cyclists in the end, majority seemed to be time wasters. One who seemed keen even though he was an hour’s drive away and he didn’t have a car 🤔 you going to cycle all that way?!
I’ll add in - all group shots so you’re trying to work out which one he is, guys that clearly forgot to put their teeth in 🤨 and grave side selfie 🤷🏻‍♀️
I had a few dates. Went as follows: 1. Dull accountant who left after 50 minutes saying he wanted to do something productive with his day, 2. guy who seemed okay on first date but launched straight into being a sex pest from when we got home. 3. Seemed okay but clearly a heavy drinker. Loved to rate everything on trip advisor, including a romantic weekend away booked spontaneously the day after he said he didn’t want to see me any more! 4. Finally seemed like a good one, got on, amazing chemistry but still lived with his ex and decided it wasn’t right to date. 5. Lovely guy but he sounded just like Timmy Mallet and I knew Instantly he’d never see me naked! Finally stumbled across a good one on Bumble banter. Been with him 18 months and I’m g him! Would be loathe to get back into it if we did split.

Do people generally take long breaks like a year off ? Or am I a minority in that? I have friends who date but they only ever take 2/3 months at the most off and then are back on it.

It's slim pickings out there....more of a dating swamp than a dating pool.

I’ve been single 4 years and most of my friends a similar amount of time.

Though almost every man I’ve spoken to on OLD seems to jump from one short term relationship to another - most only single a couple of months. I had a guy told me didn’t believe me because it’s impossible to be single more than a few months unless there’s something wrong with you 🤷‍♀️

@SamW98 how long are your breaks generally from OLD?

*keeping him! That should say.

I find Bumble just awful. Saw a guy the other day that had FIFTEEN dogs!

Is he in Essex? I’m in the ‘are we dating the same man’ and there was one mentioned in there last week

I'm not that keen on men with dogs anyway, because although the dog is usually cute, dogs restrict your lifestyle a lot, you can't just go away without thinking about it or you have to go to dog-friendly places. I wouldn't discount someone with a dog but it's not the plus they think it is.

I once swapped my ‘looking for’ on an app to ‘woman looking for women’ and I can confirm every cliche said here applies to the women too. This is a ‘people on dating apps’ thing, not ‘men on dating apps’.

My exh (who had an affair and then split upnwit her and tried a bit of online dating) put in his profile that he loved making a fire in the great outdoors.

1. he couldn't build or light a fire to save his life. Our 6 year old daughter could do a better job. In fact, he was allowed no where near them because he ballsed it up every time.

2. he hated the great outdoors and still doesn't leave the house for a day out unless it's a clear blue sky in case it rains. (No, he doesn't often go out.)

They're full of shit!

@Newbeginning12 I've not been on an app for a year, I had a date last May then decided to give it a break, and suddenly it's been a year already. I've been single for 5 years, I've had plenty of dates in the past but right now, I'm content as I am. I'm 44, I've had my kids so I don't feel any pressure on having to meet someone to settle down, although I have a glimmer of hope I'd not want to stay single forever.

I was amazed how many men thought it would be a good idea to use a selfie that was clearly taken in the gents toilets 🙄

@helleborusI'm having flashbacks to those photos now! Gross!

I'm fine with dog owners, being one myself. However, it does mean I will appraise the dog as much as the owner, so even less likely to make the cut.
Shitsu or any little thing - no way, Alsations - my dog is wary of most of them, boxers- nope, same. Anything looking savage - definitely not. Labs and spaniels- ok, I can work with that. Doodles - perfect. Best not to have a pic so I don't know really 😂

Honestly, a man I was seeing (after meeting organically) is now on all the apps. He’s framed himself as quite cute and looking for ‘I’ll let the fates guide me ❤️’ but he is just looking for as much casual sex as possible.

I'll let the fates guide me!😂If that isn't code for casual encounters I dont know what is.

I gave up on apps a few years ago.

I matched and met a guy who did enjoy cycling (so not a lie) he used to cycle to meet me. I remember fearing he'd turn up in full on lycra the first time he did but thankfully he was more of a gym shorts over running tights kinda guy. He also played cricket.

I remember after a few months (we weren't dating) seeing him on Tinder in just his boxers and thinking "that's not you, why have you done that?!"

He was not that type of guy, he was very much a mild mannered, polite, lovely guy with an amazing job who wasn't an exhibitionist, who must have felt so awkward putting up a photo of himself in his underwear but it was what was expected.

Why do you think he did it?

who must have felt so awkward putting up a photo of himself in his underwear but it was what was expected.

Expected by whom?

Just be glad you're not a man who's 5'7" trying to find a woman who isn't rabidly obsessed with tall guys.

I'd happily date a 5'7 man! Where does this 'must be over 6' thing come from? I'm 5'3, if you're taller than me it's all good!

I'm not fussy about height either, baldness etc.. Definitely less emphasis on looks as I've got older (in my 50's).

I'm just continually disappointed by the lack of emotional intelligence, low self-awareness & sleaziness of the online blokes.