Being called a cripple

[IWantToBeASleepingCat]

I haven't dated for ages..acquaintance put me in touch with a man .. who hadn't dated for ages. We only chatted. Had loads in common.. music especially ( big passion for us both) he's got a motorbike ( l used to be a big biker). He's an hippy kind of guy.. just my type.
Both had similar jobs etc..we are now retired.. he still rides his bike ( he also has a car). Gosh we talked on the phone for hours. .
He asked me out and said...perhaps we can go for a ride on the bike.
I said l now use a walking stick due to breaking my hip and now have osteoarthritis and couldn't get on a bike.
He went quiet.
I said are you still there..
He dithered answering then said..
" l don't think l could date a cripple"
I put the phone down and blocked him..

You said 'where the word was commonly used, and didn't have the negative connotations it has today'.

It did have negative connotations in the 1970s and he'd have to have been born long before the 1950s to be old enough to slip into a category where it wasn't an offensive noun.

Lucky escape because I doubt you could date a throwback whose vocabulary hasn’t moved on since the 70s. Wanker

Well you dodged a bullet
and his loss especially as he never even gave you a chance to say you were having a replacement.

it’s not wrong if it gave him pause for thought if doing a lot of physical activities is important to him in a relationship. But he could have asked you more about it and then maybe said something about being friends and not feeling a spark.

well done on putting the phone down and let’s hope if he’s got any decency he’s feeling embarrassed and ashamed at just blurting that out.

I did NOT write that
Read my posts in the thread, just as I have to check
You are confusing me with @pink bits who wrote that particular sentence. I responded to it, and you, rather than reading the post properly, thought I had written it. You then based all you bitchy comments on the assumption I had written it
How stupid
So sodding well apologise

What a horrible bastard. No wonder he hasn't had a date for ages.

I hope you find someone with compassion and understanding.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Pinkbits · Yesterday 18:28
SamW98 · Yesterday 18:24

No malice??? By using a horribly offensive outdated term.
I always find if anyone can use these words so casually, that tells us all we need to know about the way they think.
Show quote history
Come down from that high horse. My point is the gent probably comes from a generation where the word was commonly used, and didn't have the negative connotations it has today., i.e. he wasn't intending to cause offence by the word. If he'd said disabled it would have been less offensive, but the sentiment was the same.

Not me

I was born in 1952 and it’s not a word I would use. Language stated to change in the 70s and 80s when we became aware of the hurt words can cause.

He sounds like an utter prick

Reframe this: the trash has taken itself out

How old would you say “that generation” might be? My father died in his 80s with a significant physical disability but was NEVER referred to as a cripple by his contemporaries

That was very derogatory of him and you have dodged a bullet there.

The word "cripple" to describe a person has been an offensive term for as long as I can remember and I am almost 58 now.

Is he 90?

No he is 61

Btw, this is in response to you last post incorrectly quoting me @NeverDropYourMooncup

Again,
I did NOT write that
Read my posts in the thread, just as I have to check
You are confusing me with @pink bits who wrote that particular sentence. I responded to it, and you, rather than reading the post properly, thought I had written it. You then based all you bitchy comments on the assumption I had written it
How stupid
So sodding well apologise

I'm on my laptop now, rather than my phone, as I've finished work for the day and I can see that in my opinion you merely appeared to be agreeing with Pink Bits' comments. So I apologise for thinking only one person could be saying it was used in the 70s and not realising that you were a different poster who meant 'and it was offensive then'.

My offer to discuss the matter therefore defaults to Pink Bits if that was indeed what you meant.

You got that I was agreeing with @Pinkbits just because I wrote
"It was still used in the 70s"? Incredible.
And i did mention that it has always been offensive

Definitely a lucky escape there. You are about my age, I’m having a replacement next month hopefully due to undiagnosed dysplasia . Apparently this stick phase is going to be a distant memory in the not too distant future, really hope so.

@NeverDropYourMooncup
The C word, as i mentioned is obviously derogatory but as I mentioned, to use it as a verb in perhaps a description of a strangulated economy is a different matter and could maybe cause confusion. Could the chap here have picked better words, definitely. DId he purposefully set out to hurt, unlikely.
The S word you mention died out much later and into the 90s was a mainstay on many a UK highstreet. It had been an insulting term since at least the 80s so don't know why the charity took so long to ban it.

‘I couldn’t date a cripple’

’Thats okay, I couldn’t date a dickhead’.

Trash took itself out OP

What. A. Dick.

….

He is, and will remain a lonely old man.
Types like this think they can date women 10-15 years younger than themselves. They dismiss women their own age out of hand.
I'm late 40s, and quite frankly would rather remain single than consider men that age. Urghh

So if op had pushed for a coffee before they'd talked, and she'd walked in using her stick, and he'd have given her a look and made polite excuses, that would have been less shit??

Absolutely did the right thing op, sorry you had to experience that but CLEARLY his loss

He's not a GENT and unless he's time hopped and missed the last 30+ years, he should understand fully that it is polite or acceptable

I guarantee you he’s no prize OP. It stings for sure but better to uncover his true personality now rather than a year down the line. You’d think an older man and a biker would have the common sense to know that accidents can happen to anyone & he could well be in the same situ some day.

Men like this often try to weed back in when they’re lonely - don’t let him!