"Unmatching" on Bumble

[Ohwellithappens]

I have had a few months off dating apps, but literally there seems to be a trend in "unmatching" . I have only unmatched where I have said to someone that I don't feel things will progress, I have met and there's no connection or where someone has said something that's uncomfortable either sexual or obviously rude.
I have been on Bumble a couple of weeks and have just been unmatched by quite a few for absolutely no obvious reason. I was meant to meet someone today and they just unmatched me.
A woman must make the first move on Bumble but can be unmatched by a man for no reason.

I got unmatched on tinder the other night, I’m assuming it was because I didn’t reply straight away, must’ve been a whole 5 minutes! Honestly do you really want to meet someone like that? It’s a very strange place OLD

A woman must make the first move on Bumble but can be unmatched by a man for no reason

This is an odd statement. Do you think that men should have to give a reason? Surely it's their perogative to decide they don't want to talk to you any longer.

Nowt you can do. Don't get invested until you've got a ring on your finger. Maintain your own centre of gravity til then.

Isnt it a good thing they show their hand straight away though?

The one you were due to meet should have said something. You might not have seen the app, so been stood up waiting for this person.

Otherwise, people don't have an obligation. My experience is more that people just stop replying.

The point behind Bumble was to allow women to feel safer in the online dating scene, hence why women make the first move. So, I stand by my statement, if that's the way the app is designed to work then I think that unless it's a situation that is reportable there is a "report and unmatch" function then men should not be allowed to just unmatch. On another app maybe there shouldn't be a difference. But apps have become a haven of poor behaviour and I think apps need to take responsibility for the way they operate.

Dont fake it personally, though hard I know.

Just as you can choose not to message someone, they can choose to unmatch. They don't need a reason, or to justify it.

Agree, there's something about unmatching that is quite brutal, not replying to a message is one thing, unmatching is harsher.

So men aren't allowed to change their mind but women can?

Once they match they have to wait to see if the women seems them worthy of her attention?

You think making the apps work like job interviews is a good idea? I think it'll push people away.

"men should not be allowed'? Seriously dude.

Nobody owes you anything. Maybe online dating needs to take a back seat for a bit, you can't have complete control over it like that.

I know that I am making is that "unmatching" seems a growing trend. Literally a few months ago I had more fizzling out or "I don't think we will work" rather than an unmatch.

I think the apps make it too easy for people to quite literally discard ...think of it this way, if I met a person at a party, anyone and we swapped phone numbers with no real intention, exchanged a few messages, I wouldn't block and delete the person.

They do it all the time on all the apps.

And yes the apps make it really easy to do this. Men would and could argue they get the same treatment from women.

Take it up with Bumble that is their market differential

Seriously, dating apps can't get any worse... unmatching is blocking and deleting for no reason.

Can't say I've used messaging on apps for long, they run quite poorly and It relies on you using the app at the time. I've never arranged to meet a person who I wasn't already chatting to via whattsapp etc. If it hasn't got that far, why are you meeting them? Surely you get the phone number first, then message, then meet? In fact I'd take it as a red flag if someone only wants to use the app to message before meeting, and maybe you should too.

but yet the amount of posters on here who just spout 'block and delete' or 'throw him back' as soon as any man shows the merest hint of not being perfect...

Take it up with Bumble that is their market differential

Except it isn't. A) unmatching isn't in the same ball park as unwanted messages, harassment and dick pics which is what bumble was trying to prevent. Unmatching doesn't make you feel unsafe

And b) bumble got rid of the women first approach and now is more even - men can message first now.

@Ohwellithappens "unmatching is blocking and deleting for no reason"

Women do that a lot to men though? So why is it somehow unfair for men to do so to women. If for some reason they just arent keen on a person anymore surely its their prerogative to unmatch or whatever they wish to do.
I think its just all part of social media and OLD. People unfriend/block/stop replying to messages all the time - its often not nice for the other person involved but thats surely what having the freedom to make personal choices is all about?

Better off with them unmatching than faking it, a match doesn't always mean interested, matched by accident, realised not compatible, live too far away, it's superficial judgement, don't take it personally.

I am on Bumble and I thought they had got rid of the first approach but I don't think that's actually implemented.

There's so many double standards with the online dating, and dating in general really.

Getting into them all would take years.

Ultimately, OLD is a numbers game.
Men don't sit and read all the info on a profile and make a considered choice.
Indo t think women do either tbh, maybe some.

Just swipe yes on everyone.
Then if they match, read the profile properly and unmatch those they don't vibe with.

If women can just swipe and unmatch after, so can everyone else.

Update
So, I take on board that both men and women should be able to unmatch , thanks for the comments on that.

But, what would make online dating better? Rather than accepting it as it is? Some people above have said that people delete, block etc all the time for no reason, but that doesn't make it right. A few years ago the mantra was "Be Kind" that just seems forgotten.

Bumble suggest sending a message saying, I don't think we are compatible, live too far, not heard from you etc before unmatching, but few people do.

Every time there's a post on app dating there are droves of people saying how awful it is, but from the many replies above sadly people just seem to accept bad behaviour as the norm, a race to the bottom.

Sometimes an ‘unmatch’ is just someone deleting their profile. Probably cos they’ve realised the apps are shit 🤣

I’m not sure what would make online dating better to be fair.

If you do send a message as Bumble suggest it takes more time generally. So the unmatching takes the emotion out of it.

You really do have to not take things personally though.

Was chatting to a nice enough man but he really wasn’t doing it for me so personality or even looks wise. So I unmatched.

Today so far I’ve had a deleted account and an unmatch. Not bothered by either of them really but the apps are indeed shit. Even the paid for ones.