Cheating partner. Banter not funny why

[Jen8619harls]

Ok … as a woman being loyal down to earth. Appreciate my man adore him. He takes the mick out of me. Depends where he works which group of lads. Don’t want to judge all “builders “ but it seems a pattern. My partner of ten years we have one beautiful 5 yr old. We’re good for 2 week then he had to be that dick. Goes pub Stays out comes knocking daft o’clock even when I let him him in he’s laughing wants his bed. Wakes up pissing in my Bedroom and everywhere else. Calls my names. Tramp, melt, lazy bitch, slag, scrubber, I make shit teas. Don’t bother making his buttys for work as I do cos they’re shit too. Then the criticism but this is when we’re home together maybe having a drink o don’t do enough. I need to go to the gym. I should get my nails done. Pointing out flaws on my skin. The list goes on. Been that drunk….. I just heard myself … I feel like that’s and excuse being drunk and it’s not he’s nasty without it. He said he’d stab me in the neck. Kill me. Loud as day. Hasn’t apologies. If o say I’m upset or hurt or sad or scared the responses Is. NO YOUR NOT. hurts me so so much I know I’m stupid. But this man can be nice. But I am scared cos I don’t think this is normal behaviour. Mine isn’t for still being with him 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I know he cares but hates me takes things out on me somewhat I don’t know why. He came to me. I’d not ah e looked twice. But killing my self esteem confidence all of me. I feel broken. No one sees. My dad wasn’t I. My life. I’d never take my child’s daddy away from him. But if I say it’s over this man will not leave me. He’s cheated so many times. I’m humiliated. Even writing this.
just feels like even though I have a good support no one’s wants to know
♥️

This relationship isn’t healthy OP for you and your child.
This man is imprinting the idea that it’s ok to be an abusive cruel drunk and treat your partner like ……
Why are you punishing yourself by remaining with a man who cares nothing about you and is crushing your confidence?
You deserve better OP

Then fucking leave.

You're delusional to think that someone who treats you like this cares about you.

I would say the same as I have. And also said I need to take my own advice. We have had some good times but the bad seem to out weigh it now. Sure he knows that too. He's left me when our baby was 6 months old at my best friends wedding. Didn't see him for five days. Came back begging. Ruined every ocassion. Especially when it Involves me. It's like he enjoys seeing me suffer. I sound like a stupid girl I feel it. Sometimes I feel
Sorry for him I want o help him. He's begged me to but then still turned into that nasty man. I get my confidence up and he shatters me. Just by his tone and words. And laughs like a child mimics me. I front of our boy. My baby boy will be the best he's confused. 5! His daddy tried to get him on a small petrol motorbike tonight. After four beers thinks that's ok. I say no. It didn't happen but I'm left with an upset boy who doesn't understand and daddy's still pissed. Age appropriate I say. If I say the skys blue he'll say no it's not. As when I say I'm upset your hurting me. He'll say no your not upset I'm not hurting you. Like I don't feel pain. I always woudk tell anyone that you matter. I know I do. I'll find the strength. There's lots more but fed up of the past. If my past has anything to do with my life it is because my mum who I had for 13 years was there then was poorly and died. Not her fault. I've been independent after foster care and will stay feisty loving and kind. Wish more people like yourself could be. 😢♥️

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

Please leave this extremely abusive relationship asap. Counselling for you- it’s concerning you even need to ask about this hideous relationship. Do it for your child and for yourself. This man is a MONSTER and you & your child are already being harmed and I promise you this will get worse. You are in real danger. Speak to women’s aid for support.

He does enjoy seeing you suffer. And don’t think for a minute that you can prevent him from abandoning your daughter as you were abandoned by your father. He will abandon her as and when it suits him.

You owe it to her, and to yourself, to break the cycle of abuse. Stop lingering around his ankles like a whipped cur. He hates you, hates women, and will abuse you as ling as you let him.

What will you say to your child in 20 years time when they follow your example and choose a numpty like this for a partner, and ask you for advice??

He said he’d stab me in the neck. Kill me.

WTF?

I didn't read past this. Please

1. tell the police, and in rapid succession
2. leave (or chuck him out, change the locks)

@Jen8619harls, it was chilling to read this. Staying in this poisonous relationship is a form of self-harm.

Your son is living in a dangerous, abusive home. Witnessing/hearing this monster’s brutality makes him an abused child, and the damage to him will have far-reaching ramifications.

Please protect your child and yourself by leaving this horror of a man.

Please speak to women's aid. Please leave but don't let him know you are leaving. Or tell him its over with someone there. He sounds like he could get dangerous.

I'm so sorry you lost your mum so young but you wrote here for a reason. She would want the best for you and to be happy. Don't let your little boy witness this and growing up thinking it's nornal to act like their dad.

You can do this. We believe in you!

He threatened to kill you, Stab you in the neck??.

He tried to put your baby on a motor bike when he was drunk??

Ok that on it’s own is enough.

Ring the police, ask to speak to the domestic violence officer. Report this dangerous man.

If you delay, you and or your child could be seriously injured. Do not give him any more chances. Enough is enough

You are in an abusive relationship with an awful man that continues to torment you. You can choose to end this tomorrow. It’s your choice op. He will continue and most likely get worse.

Get rid op. End of!

I’m saying this gently but you are harming your child by staying with this man not protecting them.

Get your child and yourself as far away as you can from this utter piece of dirt.

Or worse, your son will turn into his father.

Drag your self respect up and GTFO of that relationship.

No he doesn’t care about you. Wake up. My ex was a tosser but he never ever behaved like that. You’re in an abusive relationship and need to leave.

If you can’t do it for your self do it at least for your child! They will absorbing EVERYTHING he says and does!

’cares about me but threatens to stab me in the neck’

FFS wake the fuck up OP

@Quirkyme
Nice...
She gets sworn at, spoken down too and clearly abused by her partner, now you're swearing at her and talking down to her when she has reached out for help.
Hope it made you feel better about yourself.

OP, you know this isn't right, I hope you find the strength to leave this man. There is lots of help out there, refuge, woman's aid, the police. It'll be incredibly hard, but much better for you, and your family.

Xx

You say 'even though I have a good support no one’s wants to know'
Is that because you don't accept the advice and help that any clear thinking person would give you?

People cannot make him behave decently. You cannot have what you want.

To be honest, I wouldn't want to know if I kept getting the same story, and you refused to do anything to change it.
It would be different if you were prevented from acting, but you have good support. Use it, change this miserable story.

I grew up having a 'dad' like this and your children hear everything, even if you think they don't, I will never ever forget the things I saw and heard.

Alcohol is not an excuse.

Don't let them think this is ok, break the cycle and save yourself and your children, you don't deserve this.

You appreciate and adore him? What is there to appreciate? What's adorable about him?

He doesn't care about you. He just says/doesn't the right thing occasionally and often enough to keep you there. You know how you pay the bills on time because you know you have to? Even though you'd rather spend the money on something else? He's doing that.

You're choosing this life for yourself and your child.

Ypu clearly haven't seen the impact living like this has on children. I have. You need to leave

He's threatening to stab you in the neck? Get the hell away from him as fast as you can.

'even though I have a good support no one’s wants to know'

Of course they don't. Their answer can only be - so leave. If you're just expecting them to listen to you moan and complain and want something different, they'll be bored of hearing it and have better things to do with their lives.

They've probably heard it a million times and have nothing else to say.

And they need to protect their own mental health from listening to it tbh. They're putting in the boundaries with you that you are unable to put in to your own life.

It sounds as though you have had a very difficult home life if you are fostered. I can understand why you want to have a secure family life now. However you're not going to get that with him. You really need to get away from him so that your child has the stability that you should've had when you were young.