lowered the medication I'm not drinking I'm on a diet to lose weight but he says I'm too big he doesn't find me attractive he takes her to school dd she's 9 I pick her up I've suggested dates he said he doesn't want to go on he said he doesn't have any feelings for me when I tried to hold his hand he said I made his skin crawl the time before when I tried to hold his hand we have not being intermate for nearly 2 years I found this really hard! He's just not interested! He spends most of his time in his room he works from home we have separate rooms I was crying saying I still loved him he said I was being manipulative I wasn't I was being genuine he has told me I'm mental when I was crying before this is cruel I had severe allergies he rolled his eyes at me he said I was hard to love because of my allergies I tried not to talk to him about it I tried not to talk about my problems I offer him massages I said he can talk if he wants I cook him special dinners I make jokes i suggest spending time together when dd is in bed I take an interest in his hobbies I said I was just talking about my feelings he said your feeling in a nasty way he mocked me when I spoke I said don't mock me I will mock you he said he used to be caring holding my hand when I was upset a lot more patient I tried walking about he got annoyed with way I walked away he said if you go for a walk it's divorce he grabbed me! He said your annoying you fall over! I said I was going to hold your hand but didn't he rolled his eyes I cook dinners help clean the house offer to help him with things he got annoyed as I damaged my knee and I mentioned it he smirked when he saw me writing in my journal on good days we get on but it's me making the effort to go out ect we were in a tent I was reminiscing over good times I said I want things back he said enough stop go go he grabbed me around the neck to try and push me out the tent I was shocked I was going to go to my friends house he said that was manipulative it wasn't a friend said he's abusive your marriage is over dead it's gone she said sell the house leave with dd I'm too scared his family hate me he go see them his sister blames me for all of this I've tried everything to make it work I'm thinking of separating we tried couple's counciling he said he didn't love me! He found a letter about me saying he was gaslighting him he said it's over! But he said we can still live together but as friend s please help I'm finding this traumatic I feel alone my friend said I was trauma dumping as I was crying to her he asked for a divorce on mothers day she said to not cry to a friend she upset me I cry my eyes out over this my mum keeps saying she won't have me back she won't see me she's too busy I don't drive she said she would send me back if I got a taxi to her i try and spend special time with dd she said she hoped I burned to death this was upsetting I told her off please reply I'm desperate!