Please reply please help I'm desperate

[Hippychickbbbb]

lowered the medication I'm not drinking I'm on a diet to lose weight but he says I'm too big he doesn't find me attractive he takes her to school dd she's 9 I pick her up I've suggested dates he said he doesn't want to go on he said he doesn't have any feelings for me when I tried to hold his hand he said I made his skin crawl the time before when I tried to hold his hand we have not being intermate for nearly 2 years I found this really hard! He's just not interested! He spends most of his time in his room he works from home we have separate rooms I was crying saying I still loved him he said I was being manipulative I wasn't I was being genuine he has told me I'm mental when I was crying before this is cruel I had severe allergies he rolled his eyes at me he said I was hard to love because of my allergies I tried not to talk to him about it I tried not to talk about my problems I offer him massages I said he can talk if he wants I cook him special dinners I make jokes i suggest spending time together when dd is in bed I take an interest in his hobbies I said I was just talking about my feelings he said your feeling in a nasty way he mocked me when I spoke I said don't mock me I will mock you he said he used to be caring holding my hand when I was upset a lot more patient I tried walking about he got annoyed with way I walked away he said if you go for a walk it's divorce he grabbed me! He said your annoying you fall over! I said I was going to hold your hand but didn't he rolled his eyes I cook dinners help clean the house offer to help him with things he got annoyed as I damaged my knee and I mentioned it he smirked when he saw me writing in my journal on good days we get on but it's me making the effort to go out ect we were in a tent I was reminiscing over good times I said I want things back he said enough stop go go he grabbed me around the neck to try and push me out the tent I was shocked I was going to go to my friends house he said that was manipulative it wasn't a friend said he's abusive your marriage is over dead it's gone she said sell the house leave with dd I'm too scared his family hate me he go see them his sister blames me for all of this I've tried everything to make it work I'm thinking of separating we tried couple's counciling he said he didn't love me! He found a letter about me saying he was gaslighting him he said it's over! But he said we can still live together but as friend s please help I'm finding this traumatic I feel alone my friend said I was trauma dumping as I was crying to her he asked for a divorce on mothers day she said to not cry to a friend she upset me I cry my eyes out over this my mum keeps saying she won't have me back she won't see me she's too busy I don't drive she said she would send me back if I got a taxi to her i try and spend special time with dd she said she hoped I burned to death this was upsetting I told her off please reply I'm desperate!

To do
Google domestic abuse charity and the name of your county then contact a local one for face to face support.
Do the freedom programme online, or even better, if you have young children go to the local children’s centre and ask if you can do it there.
Contact your local iapt to see if they can offer you a self esteem course.
Contact a local solicitor for advice.
Tell any friends and family all the details of what’s been happening.

Agree with PP, it does sound over. Is he ever nice or stringing you along? I’d make plans to leave with your DD. He doesn’t sound very nice at all.

How old is your daughter? Did I read that right and she said she hopes you burn to death?

You really need to access support and get out. Good luck x

Phone Women's Aid today and get out of there as quickly as possible. Today if you can. Take your DD.

OP, please leave this vile man, or if its your property tell him to leave. Then you can concentrate on yourself and your daughter and life will be so much calmer. You mention at the beginning that you have lowered your medication, but please check with your GP about this as may not be helping how you feel. And listen to your friend, she's right he is abusive and this relationship is over.

Her mother said that.

Your marriage is over. You can be happy living alone with your daughter. Not to mention safer.

I'd recommend women's aid in the first instance. They can help you develop a plan. If you head straight to a lawyer, you risk blowing this up into a dramatic situation which is the last thing you need. Get organised before speaking to a lawyer.

It was my daughter she just said as he has dark humor!? He says me mean things as jokes some sexist my friend said she got it from him!? He says he has a dark sense of humor he said women should have their emotions removed a birth ect I did tell them both this isn't very nice I've tried to create a loveing marriage at xmax time I said just want a normal relationship he said that depends on you! But I've tried everything! I think everyone is right we have a joint mortgage my mum gave the deposit if we split she wants her 20 grand back he said he will fight me all the way in court I already had a court case against my parents she was looking after him during a social visit she said I had no say in his life she had him calling her mummy My dad was molesting him he went to prison his whole family had a go at me and blame me when all I've ever did was to try and be nice to him I've blamed myself for this relationship between down recently but it's not my fault he said he didn't like my tone he says I'm just talking about myself if I mention my feelings I said I'm only human I don't know about that he shuts me down doesn't listen shuts the door in my face to his room when I react says it's me! He knows how to dig the knife in say exactly the right thing I've tried ignoring him if I react in a normal way showing my emotions he says I'm mentally ill!? I feel better lowering the medication it was making me very very fat causing cognitive problems ect they are fine with it he called me a miserable cunt recently I wasn't being just concerns over the Drs as they have been horrible to me!,I'm so beaten down by him a councillor said maybe he's mean as he's concerned about you another said don't wind him up I tried hard not to anything annoyed him,someone else said don't get upset about it it was Is upsetting!? He denies my own feelings he's done this for ages me, I know now I can't keep trying to save this marriage!

When I told my mum what my daughter had said she said she wished she had taken my daughter as a baby we had to fight to see my son she was looking after him as I was ill it was meant to be temporary she said I had no say in his life she didn't want to give him back then at age 4 she cut contact completely

You need a lot of help. Try to get it.Leave him before he destroys your daughter.

OP, there is a lot that needs sorting out here, please start by going back to your Dr and see if you can get some help. One thing is definite though, you need to separate from this man and then after that perhaps you can start to heal and move forward.

I agree that you should go back to your GP. Explain everything that's going on as succinctly as possible.

Your son
Your daughter
Your relationship with your parents
Your marriage
Your medication concerns

Ask to be referred to counselling to help you unravel each of the issues you're facing, in order of urgency.

You need to find someone you can trust and that can be relied on to be a firm supporter while also keeping you focussed on priorities.

Yes he occasionally is empathic, I have a lot of health problems medication problems, he says he sick of it he said he was sick of it it he said he said mean things as I drove him too it,when I was sectioned he said life was better without me, I was crying as I had severe pain a&e just wanted me to see a mental health worker the mental health worker ignored my pain he said it was all in my head I was crying before as I damaged my wrist the circulation issues caused discoloured skin this freaked me out I started having ticks I got sectioned as I didn't want to take medication it was my right I had already taken a cocktail of medication I didn't sleep for nine days then I was dismissed in the ward the ticks were bad my friend said stress I had vocal ticks involuntarily body moventents he was on the phone I tried to come in I accidentally broke his door I didn't mean to I felt bad tried to fix it they sectioned me I'm traumatized 2 men grabbed me from the kitchen they had me in there for 4 months ingored my physical symptoms I missed my daughter so much they medicated me till my throat swelled my neck swelled I couldn't talk I'm sensitive to medication he said it would me great when we bought a house I stupidly believed him I don't have any ticks now my circulation issues has improved a lot I'm doing my best for my daughter I was in the ward for 4 months he got me sectioned both times I didn't mean to brake his door he was saying all this stuff about me to a helplines he wants to use that against me he said I can't have my daughter Full time I was sectioned I've got learned difficulties those are mild he takes over parenting he took over I said I would get her ready for school he later came down started taking over he took her to school I had a go at him at a centre I didn't mean to I've just been beaten down by him so much he threaten to take dd and the house he called me a workers cunt and punched a door though I was scared of him he's stronger than me I might say he grabbed me by the neck to someone he stops me talking says he enough! He says I'm going on when I'm trying to explain myself I'm not self obsessed he calls me selfish when I care about him and my daughter he said he had no feeling s for me as I get angry but he denies me my feelings shuts me down in the conversation he says I'm mentally ill but he gets me so angry as he shuts me down doesn't listen he said there's no romantic connection when I stand up for myself he shuts me down says I'm mentally ill when I'm just being human I can't do anymore I had a social worker she tried to get me chucked out my house she said he had the right to do that I was angry with her he winds me up so much he said most of the time I'm a pain in the ass his mum had ago at me during a miscarriage she showed no empathy I think he gets this from her!? He called a old lady a bunch of fuckers for walking across the road when I said something he swore at me in a horrible way he said he doesn't like waffers I talk normally he says I'm just saying a running commentary when I'm just talking normally i said look at that lovely tree he said amazing in a sarcastic way, my scalp was burning from a severe allergies he said it was my fault he would rip my hair off I said a councillor said I was very perceptive he said very perceptive in a nasty way said I needed to say things he said I didn't need to say anything he shuts me down I said I can't live in a sexless loveless marriage recently he said he can't afford to move out he said I didn't need to say anything my friend said he got me sectioned! he's said lots of things to people I'm going to get a lawyer I end up apologize for my huge belly and weight he said he likes skinny girls he said he doesn't miss sex he never wants it he tried to end the marriage as I said about it a bit I wasn't pestering him I was trying to sort it out I have no money coming in he pays the mortgage my sisters said horrible stuff against me a worker said I could take the rough with smooth she wasnt empathic when I said my mum had let me down I said I don't know what side iam to him in a serious conversation he smiled at joked usually a little bit to the left, I say I'm worried about some thing he says oh no in a sarcastic way he said a while back most of the time I can't stand to be around you he pretented to run me over he got annoyed when I got upset and scared his sister says you push him you push him he still blames me for every thing he said when I was crying I was crying crockerdile tears I said was just being nice he said I had a altera motive I was just being nice thi king of him I said I'm a nice person he looks at me yeah right

Could you ring your GP tomorrow? They're amazing at helping signpost you to the correct help. Did you discuss lowering your medication with a doctor first? I know I always feel awful when I'm lowering my meds and very emotional. 💐

I think your priority right now is to address your mental health issues as a matter of urgency @Hippychickbbbb. Suddenly reducing doses without medical guidance can have catastrophic consequences both physically and psychologically. Please call your local mental health team/prescribing GP as soon as possible and make sure you are seen as an urgent case. You are spiraling severely and you need help.

Once you mood has stabilised and you are back on an even keel, you can then begin to make the life changing decisions you need to make. But you need clarity of thought in order to decide on what you wish to do, make a plan and to then give yourself the best chance of doing so successfully. I hope you feel better soon. Please seek urgent medical help.

I didn't suddenly reduce it it was gradual with support with medical approval I'm fine now this was over 18 months ago sorry I've got a trauma councilor my friend said I'm fine she has a mental health diploma I have been discharged from the mental health team they said no sigh of mental health problems he said relationship break down I'm a very strong person it was him saying stuff that got me sectioned twice and misdiagnosis and pologrugging from the GPS for sleep

You can't rely on a friend with a mental health diploma, my love. Obviously none of us here know you in real life, but from what you write, it does sound as if you are spiralling, probably without even realising it, which is totally understandable in your situation.

It might be worth going to your GP first and seeing if your medication can be adjusted. Once you get your head straight you'll be in a better place to get rid of your nasty unkind DH. Once you're free of him, you can work on standing up to your mum. BUT you can't do all these things at the same time. One step at a time, lovely, and the first step is to get your head clear, so you can see the way ahead properly.

There is a lot going on in your life right now and some of the people around you are not being very nice. You need to seek medical support for your mental health. Your thoughts are swirling and you need help help to work through it all.

Take care of yourself x

I'm not spiraling I don't want to see the mental health worker I just wrote alot what he's put me through its not a mental health issue but he marriage one he's done this to me! A mental health worker said this! I don't see them