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Original poster

Boyfriend sleeping at another girl's house (who he used to be romantically involved with)

45 replies

Mum2404 · 08/06/2024 23:31

Not going to lie, my boyfriend and I have not been doing great recently, and hes staying at his cousin's house for the time being. We have 2 kids together and he can't drive so I'm just expected to look after the kids for the time being. He's been going out drinking every night with his friends, joking about being in a sad boys club with his recently single friends (he's been telling them we have separated but that's not what I understood we were). I offered him to come for tea on Saturday because noone else is home but me and the kids to spend time with them and talk, but he declined because weeks ago he made plans with his female friend to go and walk her dog. I later find out from him he's made plans to go on a walk then go drinking with her and stay at her house. A month before we got together 6 years ago, he was seeing this girl for about a month and they both seemingly got feelings but nothing obviouslh came of it. I expressed that because of his behaviour and telling all his friends we aren't together at the moment, I've become paranoid about this girl. Its probably just me being irrational but he doesn't care about what I said and has gone anyway. I feel like a crazy person. Help?!

OP posts:
hg167 · 08/06/2024 23:37

I think if he’s declining to come round, you need to message him to confirm exactly what you are - from the sounds of it, he is single and acting like it, whereas you seem to think this is not the case, so you’d be best off finding out exactly what point you’re at so you’re both on the same page.

Sorry you’re going through this, especially as it does seem like something is going on between them ❤️

StSwithinsDay · 08/06/2024 23:39

You are not crazy. He is now single.

Twolittleloves · 08/06/2024 23:41

You need to dump him.He doesn't love you if he is behaving like that.It's sad there's kids involved and I just hope he is more loyal and caring to them more than he is you (although it doesn't really sound like it) You are worth more than ssomeone like him.

DelphiniumBlue · 08/06/2024 23:41

I'm so sorry, but he really does consider himself separated. He clearly doesn't feel any responsibility for you or the children, either. In fact, he sounds like a child himself- he can't drive so can't see his children, but he can manage to go out and drink and meet up with another woman.
He has made it clear where his priorities lie, and I'm afraid you and the children are not at the top of his list.
You're not paranoid, he is openly seeing someone else in preference to seeing you.
It's hard when you have children together but he is not the man for you.
Hopefully he has a job and you can claim CMS.

Comtesse · 09/06/2024 00:39

Well he sounds hopeless…..

velveteens · 09/06/2024 01:24

You have children together?!!

This sounds toxic.

Pixiesgirl · 09/06/2024 01:28

Why do you think you are crazy? Confused]. I mean I think you are crazy for putting up with this shit.

TheSilentSister · 09/06/2024 01:48

Dump his sorry arse. He's taking you for a mug. I'm sorry there are DC involved. He sounds very immature. You can do better.

StrawberryWater · 09/06/2024 02:56

Well he's telling you he's single so just let him know you've changed the locks and will put in a CSM claim Monday morning and you still expect him to pick up the kids next Saturday so he can spend time with them because otherwise he's a deadbeat dad as well as a lousy boyfriend.

kkloo · 09/06/2024 03:53

Its probably just me being irrational

Irrational?

From your other post you have a 2 year old and a baby.
Now this 'man' that you have a family with has just went to stay with his cousin, drinking every night, telling everyone you're separated.
He didn't bother to go over to talk or to see his kids, let alone bother to actual parent them and give you a break.
Instead of seeing you or his kids he's going out with a woman he slept with and had feelings for to drink and then stay at her house....so he's gone on a date and is

Agree with @StrawberryWater change the locks and submit a claim for child maintenance.

Louise303 · 09/06/2024 04:26

Mum2404 · 08/06/2024 23:31

Not going to lie, my boyfriend and I have not been doing great recently, and hes staying at his cousin's house for the time being. We have 2 kids together and he can't drive so I'm just expected to look after the kids for the time being. He's been going out drinking every night with his friends, joking about being in a sad boys club with his recently single friends (he's been telling them we have separated but that's not what I understood we were). I offered him to come for tea on Saturday because noone else is home but me and the kids to spend time with them and talk, but he declined because weeks ago he made plans with his female friend to go and walk her dog. I later find out from him he's made plans to go on a walk then go drinking with her and stay at her house. A month before we got together 6 years ago, he was seeing this girl for about a month and they both seemingly got feelings but nothing obviouslh came of it. I expressed that because of his behaviour and telling all his friends we aren't together at the moment, I've become paranoid about this girl. Its probably just me being irrational but he doesn't care about what I said and has gone anyway. I feel like a crazy person. Help?!

Get rid of him he is going on a date and having a fling with her he is also telling friends you are separated. I hope you are not foolish enough to accept him back if he comes crawling. He sounds awful I do not know why you are thinking you are irrational.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/06/2024 06:55

It sounds like he’s decided the relationship is over. Or he is at least acting like it. He’s told you exactly where his priorities lie and it’s unsurprising that you’ve had issues with him. You’ll feel much better once you come to terms with the fact he doesn’t want to change and he doesn’t want to prioritise his children. As others have said, he sounds very immature.

Whose house are you living in? You can’t just change the locks if it’s a tenancy or jointly owned.

Dery · 09/06/2024 07:27

“DelphiniumBlue · Yesterday 23:41
I'm so sorry, but he really does consider himself separated. He clearly doesn't feel any responsibility for you or the children, either. In fact, he sounds like a child himself- he can't drive so can't see his children, but he can manage to go out and drink and meet up with another woman.
He has made it clear where his priorities lie, and I'm afraid you and the children are not at the top of his list.
You're not paranoid, he is openly seeing someone else in preference to seeing you.
It's hard when you have children together but he is not the man for you.
Hopefully he has a job and you can claim CMS.”

This with bells on.

LemonCitron · 09/06/2024 07:30

I think your relationship is over OP Sad

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 09/06/2024 07:30

Just adding to the other voices here. He is telling people he is single because he is. He is even telling you he’s seeing someone else. CMS claim.

cannonballz · 09/06/2024 07:34

sounds like you have separated.

nobeans · 09/06/2024 07:34

Sorry - it's over. Look after your kids as he doesn't seem to give a shit.

BananaSpanner · 09/06/2024 07:36

Tell him to return home and work on his relationship or it’s over and he can move out permanently and start sharing care of the children and paying CM. At the moment he has the best of both worlds telling you you’re still together,
popping by when he feels like it but telling everyone else he’s single.

DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 09/06/2024 07:37

He certainly seems to think you've broken up. Maybe you need to catch up and get on the same page? He's literally going on a date with this woman.

nobeans · 09/06/2024 07:38

BananaSpanner · 09/06/2024 07:36

Tell him to return home and work on his relationship or it’s over and he can move out permanently and start sharing care of the children and paying CM. At the moment he has the best of both worlds telling you you’re still together,
popping by when he feels like it but telling everyone else he’s single.

Nah don't bother why should OP beg?

TowelTerror · 09/06/2024 07:39

The relationship is over, sorry OP. Whether this girl is involved is not the key question. You need to get CM in place and work out contact arrangements with the kids.

Sunnysummer24 · 09/06/2024 07:40

He has left you and told everyone else you but.

Coconutter24 · 09/06/2024 07:40

He’s putting walking a dog with some woman over going round to see his family for tea?.?.?… surely that tells you all you need to know about the relationship?

Ifyoucouldreadmymindlove · 09/06/2024 07:51

He’s going to sleep with her.

You are not crazy.

He is scum.

Perfumefun · 09/06/2024 07:54

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