What would you make of this?

[Holly67800]

We are on holiday, checked my husband's phone to find this emoji🥲 not in contacts, no other messages.
How do I find who sent it if it's not on his contacts short of calling them and what could I say they aren't going to say who they are.
I was having such a nice time too 😭

If he has an iPhone go into his recently deleted messages

Please tell me how it's an old iPhone...might not be possible

He'd probably deleted them from.deleted permanently.

Go into messages then select 'edit'on the top left side and then go into 'show recently deleted'

Not directly to do with OPs post but if I saw those emojis I’d have to look up what they meant before worrying about them

I had a WhatsApp from an unknown number in Wyoming this morning. I'm in England. My DH could go all suspicious on me, but it's clearly random. It just says hello. It's totally meaningless unless you think he's having an affair.

Actually thinking rationally which believe me it's hard to focus right now.....there are no previous messages in this text just the emoji do they'll be nothing there.

So I called the number, withheld they eventually picked up it was a woman's voice 😩

If he has a habit of deleting anything from this person as soon as he has read it then yes they will be there in recently deleted.

That won’t stop the person being able to msg them again with the emoji. But that wouldn’t mean all the deleted messages will show again. All you would see is the emoji.

This sounds suspicious to me TBH. I’d probably look at his phone again sometime see if the emoji chat has gone. I would also ring the number withheld. They either will or won’t answer. If they do and it’s a woman’s voice well you’re halfway to knowing he’s at the very least messaging someone he doesn’t want you to know about, again.

As PP have said, you don’t trust him. It’s an awful position to be in.

Oh just saw you rang it. So now you know he’s messaging someone he wants to hide from you.

My tactic would be to not say anything until I found and read the deleted messages from her.

Sigh.

There are no other messages, I've found out so much crap on my holiday I've just sat and wept in the room, the others are on an excursion.
Feel like I want to curl up however I've got to put on a normal happy face for my kids.
It's the concealment that hurts, he's always said if I ever hurt you I'll go. I think he's on the verge of that he will use it as an excuse I don't want to hurt you so ....
He also googled flats to rent and we had a row about that he made us some stupid thing about his work...he's getting his ducks in a row.
I mean how many women would tolerate this? If he'd said and come clean I'd at least have some respect as it is that's gone.

If your DH is having some sort of relationship with this woman and she has received a phonecall from someone showing up as a private number and the person phoning her rang straight off then she will be possibly be suspicious. She may think it is something to do with their relationship having been found out.
She may therefore contact your DH about it.
Edited to say I've just seen your update about the looking for flats to rent. That doesn't look good.

Exactly this but I had to find out...

Of course it was 50/50 that a woman would answer the phone number.

so he knows that you know he was searching for flats to rent ?

Yes I said are you happy because I said I used his laptop and it automatically full on the search he became flustered and said it was to see if a friend was still in business renting or something, I believe he was checking out his options on Rightmove.
Yes it was 50/50 however I'd have felt better had it been a man.

Well if she does contact him and it brings things out into the open it will better for you than all this worry and suspicion. So long as you are prepared for possible consequences of making the phonecall.

Googling flats to rent? Oh shit.

My stbxh did this. And I found his John Lewis shopping basket filled with items in pairs like glasses, crockery etc. He cited work made the flat necessary during lockdown.

I found out during our divorce he'd shacked up there with a much younger woman during lockdown. The dcs and I were in a different country with fil staying with us.

The casual cruelty and the pain of this kind of betrayal really stays with you.

I feel for you, op. I don't think you can be nice and friendly and normal to him. I think he's plotting some big moves and you've rumbled him. Please please protect yourself and make your own plans. Be firm and steely. He's already messed up you said. No more chances.

I’m sorry OP.

Is it time to rip the plaster off? Just be direct, ‘It feels like, with you looking for flats, and other things I have noticed, that you are wanting out of the relationship. Is that true? Let’s work out how to do this as respectfully as possible’

I had to do this. It hurt and was hard but he was already gone in his head and I couldn’t stand the thought of begging or ‘pick me dances’ or crying or him staying out of pity etc. I bought him out of the house very quickly - he didn’t know what hit him!

Fairly recently I got some kind of apologies and messages. Grey rocked.

Good luck. I know it’s shit. It will get better when it’s all out in the open and you’re a few weeks down the road.

💐

weather he is or isn't seeing someone else you need to get out of this relationship if only for your mental health

so now it comes down to: do you have children
do you work
is the house mortgaged/owner or rented

This one is phew 😥
This one is crying 😢

Very similar but not the same!

I would check deleted messages for any previous texts that he might have deleted on another occasion.
how would he contact her if he deletes all texts and hasn’t saved her number? Just a thought. He may not be up to anything.
but, yes I’d definitely mention the flat hunting. Life would be much calmer without him. You deserve better.

Theres no deleted texts from anyone because he'd deleted from deleted this covering his tracks. This thought has crossed my mind, it's doubtful he'd remember it, just a bit of a mystery really.
Other things have come tolight Over this holiday too I feel I need to look after me now, make myself stronger prepare for when I've had enough. I think one day I'll just snap.