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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Partner threatens to leave after any argument and gives me the silent treatment

52 replies

HappyJadeLion · 27/05/2024 20:33

Hi all,
just a little background information to my story. A couple of years ago I moved over two hours away from my family to be with my partner after he proposed. Although I have made friends here it is not the same as having family support. Any disagreement or anything I say that my partner doesn’t like he will become angry and pack his things end the relationship and stay at his mums. If he doesn’t end the relationship then he will give me the silent treatment for days. I have recently found on his phone that during these times he stay at his mums he has been on dating sites and messaging women but he has turned this on me saying we weren’t together so I’m in the wrong. Obviously his mum allows him to stay so isn’t supportive of me as he can do no wrong in her eyes, I’m just feeling this isn’t normal for a man in his 40s and I’m feeling pretty isolated with my self esteem on the floor. Hoping for advice and support

OP posts:

JFDIYOLO · 28/05/2024 10:06

Time to get down to business. A solicitor, somewhere to live, build relationships up again with family and friends, reconnect with your past, your people. Everything he cut you off from.

Be honest with them about what he put you through because he'll be creating a fake narrative where you're at fault. His family enable him, and he may even believe it.

Remind yourself of the truth because you may start doubting yourself.

He has a personality disorder and will not do the work to heal himself. No to meds, no to therapy. Sadly the disorder is likely to be fuelling that, and only a professional can deal with it. Not you.

It's a shame, it must be hard to have it, but the fallout and damage to those around people like this can be immense.

Well done, stay strong.

JFDIYOLO · 28/05/2024 10:09

'my car is in his name' = it's his car. He's responsible for paying for it, the MOT, tax, insurance, maintenance etc. Cancel all payments, let him know he's in charge now. Start looking for a little interim secondhand car, if money's difficult can family help?

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