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Original poster

Partner supporting an artist with different views upsets me, am I being unreasonable?

58 replies

Robrob2424 · 26/05/2024 09:49

So my partner is supporting an artist and going along to a gig soon with her best friend who loves this artist...however I am fully against it....and I feel like I've lost a bit of respect for my partner over it...not sure what to do.

The artist that she is going to support is independent but mostly posts about how men are pathetic, how all straight men are cheaters, making jokes about how men should be dressed up in women's clothes and just in general putting men down and calling them scum....

I mean I have an issue with this as I'm a straight man...we aren't all cheaters, we don't deserve to be put down like that and labelled, I'm not exactly happy my partner is going to support this person even if it is her friends favourite artist....

If there was a guy going around calling people sl*ts, saying all women are cheaters and useless, I wouldn't support that either and I know my partner wouldn't be happy.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting to stand up for my gender??

OP posts:
Choochoo21 · 26/05/2024 12:57

YANBU

I think singing about your experiences of cheating etc are fine but I would not support any artist who is sexist, racist, homophobic etc.

I would absolutely lose respect for a man who followed and supported Andrew Tate.

But this artists views/actions can be separated from her music.

I am a huge Kanye West fan and I am obsessed with his music.
But I do not agree with some of his behaviour or views.

Many people enjoy Michael Jackson or R.Kelly music too, but they don’t condone their behaviour.

I do think it’s possible to separate the music from the person.

It’s only you who can decide whether this is something you can look past though.

I don’t know anything about this artist.
If she’s spreading hate speech then I’d end the relationship but if she’s just opinionated, then I wouldn’t end my relationship over it.

yellowsmileyface · 26/05/2024 13:09

mostly posts about how men are pathetic ... calling them scum

I think this simply isn't true. I'd never heard of her, but have just been looking through her X posts and seen no evidence of this whatsoever. So I'm not sure what you're basing this on.

She just sounds like a woman who's had to put up with a lot of shit from men, rather than a woman who hates men. She certainly doesn't come across as some militant misandrist as you're making out.

You can't control where your partner goes or what she does. She's allowed to go to this gig. To state that you are "fully against it" indicates quite a controlling attitude, because frankly, it's not your place to be for or against it.

The irony is that the men who are genuinely allies to women wouldn't have a problem with their girlfriends going to this gig.

Cloudylilac · 26/05/2024 13:11

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 26/05/2024 10:37

Discuss the content with her: yes
Pressurise her not to go; no.

If, on discussion, you have different outlooks, different pov, that might or might not be an issue in your relationship . If you different values that will pose a challenge to your relationship.

You know that as a class women are more frequently abused, killed, raped, discriminated against by men as a class than the other way around? She can protest these things while respecting and recognising that you personally are not like that.

I love Picasso, but know he was appalling to his female partners

I would be unhappy at a male partner going to a strip show, and would respect his unhappiness at me going to male strippers . Even though the exploitation factor and general context is not equal, it is about getting titillation from outside the relationship.

I would not have a problem with a black partner going to a show focusing on white racism. Because I know this is a fact and I need to understand that.

See the differences?

Spot on.

HelloJillll · 27/05/2024 09:23

Robrob2424 · 26/05/2024 10:03

That's true, a lot of the lyrics themselves and songs are written towards bad relationships, men doing this and that, a guy's fault for something. Very tailor swift like as mentioned above now I think about it but worse

Show quote history

Taylor Swift most often sings from a point of experience so if you don’t want to be labelled a cheat there’s an easy solution, don’t.

You sound a bit insecure. As if these views will sway your GF. Is that the real problem?

Herculesfan · 28/08/2025 03:08

I just want to thank this poster for introducing me to CMATs music last year, it’s been a real joy in my life and I often think about the thread that prompted me to have a listen and hoped the posters girlfriend had an amazing time at the gig 🥰

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 28/08/2025 10:56

Herculesfan · 28/08/2025 03:08

I just want to thank this poster for introducing me to CMATs music last year, it’s been a real joy in my life and I often think about the thread that prompted me to have a listen and hoped the posters girlfriend had an amazing time at the gig 🥰

😂😂😂

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowItHaveAGin · 28/08/2025 13:57

Herculesfan · 28/08/2025 03:08

I just want to thank this poster for introducing me to CMATs music last year, it’s been a real joy in my life and I often think about the thread that prompted me to have a listen and hoped the posters girlfriend had an amazing time at the gig 🥰

Coming back to a thread, months later, to make this kind of a dig at op is exactly the level of petty I aspire to be.

Well done 👏 🤣

RatherTardy · 28/08/2025 15:20

Agree with the others @Herculesfan

That's hilarious 😂 👌

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