Lost it with drunk dh

[Lostmama24]

First time posting. Don’t really know where to begin. Met my partner 5 years ago after divorcing abusive ex. He was great, always positive and happy, great with my 3 daughters then we had our own daughter too. Fast forward to now… he works nights and is always moaning about any noise in the house after teatime; tired from working & struggles to get to sleep. Most weekends he has a drink to help him sleep and ‘wind down’. I don’t mind except if he has a bit too much to drink he gets rude and verbally abusive to me. Day to day we get along great but when he had a drink I feel nervous not knowing how he’s going to be. Tonight he had quite a bit to drink and started mumbling that I’m a s*t. He tossed a photo frame downstairs at me and kept try to provoke me into to an argument and I don’t know what happened…. I just snapped …. I lunged at him and grabbed his neck. I’m crying right now typing this because it is so out of character for me. I’m always so composed. He went mad, told me to take my silly little children and get out, go back to my ex, called my teenage dd a s*g then went to his bed to sleep. I’m sitting in utter shock at my reaction. I’m crying because I don’t know what to do.
someone please help me

no wonder with comments of he provoked her, it's reactive etc.

Reactive abuse is a reality, sorry that triggers you.

Abusive men reporting reactive abuse or threatening to, to stop women reporting their abuse or to get in first or to muddy the waters is also common.

That's how that female school head teacher was reported to the police for apparently hitting her husband, but strangely it was her and their little daughter who ended up being shot dead by him with a shot gun.

Clearly he was an innocent and vulnerable victim of female domestic abuse; to murder a young girl, his own daughter, with a fucking shot gun.

Again, sorry if facts about abuse of women by men, and how it's not always straightforward trigger you.

I personally dated a man who told me his previous girlfriend hit him.

Let's just say that after a few months in the relationship, I understood how his ex - who drank and was probably quite a different character from me - could have ended up hitting him.

He was a dementor.

I barely drink and I am very non physical, (much more verbal).; otherwise I could have ended up doing that too. As it was I just ended up screaming at him eg down the phone, after reaching breaking point with his latest series of accusations, criticisms and grievances, his latest berating rant ...... at which point he would declare me "fucking mental" and hang up.

Some people do make the likelihood of reactive "abuse" high.

You can tell what sort of person this guy is from calling the op's uninvolved daughter a "slag". And suggesting they get out of the house - which is not even rented in his name.