Trusting my partner on social medial

[Howdon]

Hi all,

I just wanted to some opinions on how you would cope in my situation.

I am mid 20s and have deleted all my social media accounts a few years back. I am in a new relationship with a man who is 29 years old, we don't live together, but we see eachother regularly.

He uses social media, and has accounts on Facebook, insta, snap etc. Whilst I don't have an issue with his use of social media, I am slightly concerned that I've never seen his accounts or who he follows/ things he posts.

I have asked my partner of his usage on these apps I.e. if he could remove the girls he's had a past with etc, he has said he has done that.

What I find concerning, is that my sister has snapchat and has him has a contact and noticed he has 2 snapchat accounts. (One linked to his old number, and one linked to his new number). Am I crazy to think this is a bit odd?

I am also aware that he doesn't post things about us, and the things we do, as I have asked him about this before. I wonder if because I'm not on social media, that it's easy to pocket our relationship?

The reason I say this is because, my last boyfriend before me would post things of us and things we did together despite me not being on social media.

Just wanted some thoughts on this!

Thanks

Yes, everyone IS different. Including your boyfriend.

It's my personal opinion that when you enter a new relationship, you should stop communication with ex's and people you've slept with in the past. I haven't got any issue with anything else, for me it's a respect thing, but everyone is different.

Oh dear. You're going to struggle in life.

I agree with others that the issue isn’t social media, it’s the fact that he’s not introducing you to his friends etc I would expect to have met my partners friends several times by 7 months. Have you met his family?

I think you feel as if he’s hiding your relationship so why not ask him? Ask if anyone knows about you and how come you’ve not met his friends? Why is he keen to keep it all separate?

OP

Look up Coersive and Controlling behaviour.

What you're doing could constitute a CRIMINAL offence.

Him wanting to keep you separate from friends is more the issue here, that is a bad sign, means the relationship hasn't and won't progress any further because he doesn't want you as part of his life, just a separate bit on the side of everything.
Have you had the exclusivity chat? He knows he can placate you and claim he's done what you ask of him, because you aren't to know not being on SM.
As an aside, I do have some ex's on my friends list, I don't interact with them anymore though. Haven't seen a need to block them if they didn't become unreasonable or do wrong by me at the end or pester. Some odd exs are blocked, some aren't, doesn't mean anything. If someone asked me to remove them, I'd take it as a red flag.