Worth dating after 60?

[Ifify]

I’m early 60s and considering this question.

On another thread related to this issue a few posters have suggested “it’s not over”. But also that being alone and fancy-free is also great.

I do occasionally get interest from men, but am very selective and definitely don’t want some kind of generic male company for the sake of it. I need intelligence character, SOH, and an element of good looks 🙂!

So, sometimes I think it would be nice to have some enjoyable male companionship. At other times I feel I should be realistic and honestly accept that my romantic life is pretty much over (feels a bit sad but also peaceful?) and I should focus on other things.

Thoughts?💭

I feel the same, and I'm not yet 50! Following with interest.

Yesterday myself and my sister ( me 66 her 61) visited a friend and her twin sister age 64.
We are all single ( divorced or widowed ) had other relationships...and this subject came up..and the conclusion was .. we all prefer being on our own.
Having our own space.
Pleasing ourselves.
No arguments.
Just ourselves to think about.
Cleaning/ washing for just us.
The list went on..
Even to the point of not having to look at men's naked bodies anymore.
We all have close families.
Sons/ daughters/ Grandchildren..and of course friendship .

Geez, yes you might as well give up if the idea of looking at a male naked body is a negative thing. Glad I'm not of that opinion yet. Still life in the old dog.

I am over 60 and am increasingly finding that I can't be bothered with dating. I would never live with anyone as I now prefer living alone and I find that most single men of my age just don't appeal to me. I look for intelligence, decent looks, a good level of fitness and an interesting lifestyle in a partner and I find it difficult to find these in most men that I meet. I have given up with online dating as it was soul destroying. I would like someone to provide companionship (and sex if I find them attractive) but equally I am an independent woman and happy to occupy myself, go on holiday alone or with friends and go to the theatre etc on my own if I need to.

oh dear I didn’t want this to be a hostile thread, just our honest views ?

@Opentooffers
Yes l agree.. like l said we have.
But we were actually having a laugh about it.
The amount of manky men's feet with fungal nails in sandals in the summer is enough to put us off without seeing the rest of their bodies lol.
I gave up on men after my ex got jailed for attempted murder for throwing me under a bus and leaving me seriously disabled.
Which l have posted about many many times.

I am almost 60 and have made peace with this. I actually have no interest in dating, I'm too busy and I like living without a partner - I can please myself and take pleasure from stuff I enjoy. I haven't written the option of a partner off completely if I met some organically, but I'm not looking and they would have to be super special to tempt me into a relationship of any kind. Last relationship ended 2016 and I have felt this way for a LONG time now !

I met someone in my early/mid 50s after a divorce and then too awful relationships (spongers, narcissists, cheaters, liars, etc). I'm OK now but if this relationship ends I don't think I'd be interested in another for the reasons others have outlined. I enjoy my own company and freedom although it's nice to have companionship to do certain things.

Late 40s and I'm coming to this conclusion.
In an ideal world I would meet someone but I don't fancy men in their late 50s and older. Men my age aren't interested.
Single is the least bad option.

@LilyRose88

The problem is all women want those traits in a man but there are so few of them available on dating sites.

Let’s face it, the best men are usually taken already.

What is left is a needle in a haystack. The good looking intelligent, hard working, fit and interesting men who do come onto the dating market literally have the pick. There are so few of them and so many women that would be happy to date them that it leaves very little chance. These guys can also usually attract women 15 years younger than them!

it’s very depressing dating as you get older.

I’m mid 50’s and honestly the pickings are slimmer than Posh Spice.

There are a few decent men out there but true about as rare as a rainbow unicorn amongst the sleazy sex posts and absolute dregs.

Its like sifting through a Mount Everest sized pile of ripped torn smelly jumble to find the one good quality designer outfit hidden in the midst.

My mum died and my dad has met someone else
They're both 74 and very happy

Should add they don't live together but do stay over and holiday together etc

My dad met the love of his life at 62. They are now in their 80s and his later life wouldn't have been anywhere near as fulfilled and fun if he hadn't have met my stepmum. Go for it, why not!

Mid 50s and not having any luck. Been single nearly 15 years. Online is hopeless. Met a couple of nice men normally, not been on dates but got the impression they were interested. For me they were a complete non starter. They didn't seem to have any interests. I am looking for someone to join me in my interests or at least have separate ones of his own.

It feels like the bar is quite low and I am supposed to be grateful for any interest.

I think I am too old.

I had this conversation with my relative recently.

she was pondering the same situation as you. I should say I am not your or her age so I can only go on my opinion rather than experience.

my response was as I see it there is absolutely no reason she shouldn’t meet someone if she wants. Nothing wrong with enjoying a man’s company and having someone to go places with or holiday with or yes have sex with at her age.

but I also said she loves living alone (after years of not being alone) and enjoys her independence so I said enjoy all the above but don’t marry or live with anyone again. Best of both worlds!

all of this is only relevant if a person wants to though because I also think it’s completely fine to not be arsed either! Also it’s finding a companion you actually enjoy spending time with.

I just don’t understand why it’s even considered that a person may be too old if there’s still a desire to share life in the romantic sense then that’s how someone feels age is irrelevant.

for me personally if I broke up with dp or he died I definitely wouldn’t ever live or marry. I may date but I’d only do so if they added to my life. I just know I couldn’t be arsed otherwise!

Appreciated all the comments, I can relate to most. It’s been good for me to air the question and see other people’s perspectives. It’s helped give me some more clarity somehow.

My late husband was a good bit older than me and told me to get another man after he was gone.

Don’t think I can be bothered. DH was my best friend. He’s been gone 3 yrs and I don’t want anyone else.

I’m 64.

I'm a bloke and you could write all of the above in reverse.

I know a couple who have been LAT for 30 years. They are very happy.

My sister was widowed at 63 , she was not looking to date at all. Our cousin took her along to a poetry group about a year later and she met a widower there. He is 4 years older. They married last year at 69 and 73 and are very happy.

My mate is 61 divorced and really hates being alone, we are all different.

@Lousymousy what are your interests, are they very niche or something woman dominated?

This. I'm your age and if something happened to my husband or we got divorced, I'd absolutely rejoice in the freedom of not being in a relationship anymore.

@Moier do you think all of you at some point had a fulfilling relationship? Mine certainly is and I feel grateful but my friend who is single at 61 and unhappy has never had what I would call a fulfilling relationship. She has divorced twice, had one partner be unfaithful, possibly two though he denies it and has been the OW as well. So I wonder if that is part of it. My sister seemed happily married in the outside but she wasn’t really as she confided a few things to me.

Hell no. I'm 62 and no way will I be dating men my age or older. They would expect me to cook, clean and look after them and I definitely cant be bothered with that.
I have a wonderful gay male friend who treats me like a princess when we go out and then goes home at the end of the day.

Hi This is my experience so far
I’ve been widowed 8 years now aged 58. We had a really great stable loving marriage btw. Cancer was the reason he died. It was so traumatic. I’ll always love him.

However I really love male company , sharing the fun and mundane stuff with a man. I met my new partner online and we bought a home together 2 years ago. He’s a bit younger than me. We have similar interests and sense of humour. We’ve also got our own separate interests. Sex life is great too, though not quite as full on as when we lived apart 😆. We don’t intend getting married.

I spent some time being single , travelled, bought a motor home, bought and did up a house but I just prefer sharing life with a bloke . It works for me. God knows what I’d do if anything happened to him.

My advice would be “Never Say Never” A widowed friend vowed never to marry again but she’s met someone years after and is very happily married now much to her surprise.
You don’t know how the future will pan out.

My lovely aunt is 77 and has been dating her current partner for 4 years and seems happy. They don't live together and are not planning to, but enjoy the companionship and doing things together, seems perfect for them.