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Original poster

Shall I text him?

33 replies

Nattydred · 18/05/2024 22:39

We've been speaking daily for about 6 weeks. I wasn't all that interested to start and very busy moving house. He pursued me a lot and eventually I started to like him and together we felt good about each other sending compliments, hearts etc you get it. He was meant to come and stay at mine this weekend and I have also been invited to stay at his though never been because I have a daughter and won't leave her overnight with anyone. But back to the relationship itself, a few days ago he started getting distant and then stopped messaging all together. Shall I message him to say anything and if yes what to say? I was thinking to say something like...

If you were busy or even lost interest that would be ok and understandable but having plans with me and not saying a single word to me is not OK. It was great whilst I thought i knew you and glad to see the real you before I truly invested my heart into this, (am actually pretty hurt but obviously not going to show him that).

OP posts:
Thursdaygirl · 18/05/2024 22:43

You have been speaking for 6 weeks but have you ever met in person?!

AutumnCrow · 18/05/2024 22:47

If you were busy or even lost interest that would be ok and understandable but having plans with me and not saying a single word to me is not OK. It was great whilst I thought i knew you and glad to see the real you before I truly invested my heart into this

I wouldn't say the last bit. Replace 'before I truly invested my heart into this' with 'before I extended hospitality to you'.

Then block, before he sends you some nonsense about being poorly and wanting the violins etc.

Original poster
Nattydred · 18/05/2024 22:48

Yes we have met in person he drove up here and we went for a walk. We live quite far away like 2 hours drive so we've done a lot of phone calls, video calls etc I was also at first apprehensive to let him know where I live etc etc but as time as gone on trust has developed and it seemed a great idea for him to come and stay.

OP posts:
Tel12 · 18/05/2024 22:49

I'd really not bother messaging him. It's really off, but that's who he is.

Fiddlersgreen · 18/05/2024 22:50

You’ve met once and he was going to come and stay with you?
where was your daughter going to be

Aquamarine1029 · 18/05/2024 22:51

You've met this man once and you were going to have him stay overnight in your home with your child present? Please tell me I've got this all wrong because no one with any kind of good judgement whatsoever would ever even contemplate this.

Macaroni46 · 18/05/2024 22:53

AutumnCrow · 18/05/2024 22:47

If you were busy or even lost interest that would be ok and understandable but having plans with me and not saying a single word to me is not OK. It was great whilst I thought i knew you and glad to see the real you before I truly invested my heart into this

I wouldn't say the last bit. Replace 'before I truly invested my heart into this' with 'before I extended hospitality to you'.

Then block, before he sends you some nonsense about being poorly and wanting the violins etc.

S

DontBiteTheCat · 18/05/2024 22:54

Don’t text him. You’re secretly hoping he’ll give some lie explanation for why he has been quiet, but what’s the point? It takes seconds to send a text, you already know he’s cooled off. Maybe he’s met someone else, maybe he’s lost interest. Not your problem. Leave him be and just block him.

Also, please tell me your child wasn’t going to be there while a man you have never met stayed overnight?

Edited for typo.

Macaroni46 · 18/05/2024 22:54

Grrr pressed send too soon!

Why would you send a message and then block? Don't understand this fashion for blocking!

Upinthenightagain · 18/05/2024 22:59

Nattydred · 18/05/2024 22:48

Yes we have met in person he drove up here and we went for a walk. We live quite far away like 2 hours drive so we've done a lot of phone calls, video calls etc I was also at first apprehensive to let him know where I live etc etc but as time as gone on trust has developed and it seemed a great idea for him to come and stay.

What relationship? You don’t have a relationship. You went for a walk? Next you’ve invited him to stay over? Jeez talk about a cheap date. Give over, this is not the start of a great romance. Stop being a desperado.

category12 · 18/05/2024 23:01

What, you were planning to have some bloke stay overnight with your dd in the house, after 6 weeks of chatting and one meeting? 😑

It's a good job he's got more sense than you do and has ghosted.

Notamum12345577 · 18/05/2024 23:02

Fiddlersgreen · 18/05/2024 22:50

You’ve met once and he was going to come and stay with you?
where was your daughter going to be

As she won’t leave her with anyone so she can’t go to his, I’m assuming at home

Original poster
Nattydred · 18/05/2024 23:02

Negative nancy I didn't come here to talk about my decision to let him into my home. I came to ask if I should text him or not. If you have nothing to say about that then 🤐

OP posts:
Original poster
Nattydred · 18/05/2024 23:03

Negative nancy I didn't come here to talk about my decision to let him into my home. I came to ask if I should text him or not. If you have nothing to say about that then 🤐

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 18/05/2024 23:05

Nattydred · 18/05/2024 23:03

Negative nancy I didn't come here to talk about my decision to let him into my home. I came to ask if I should text him or not. If you have nothing to say about that then 🤐

That's not how it works, but hopefully this man has more concern about your child's well-being than you seemingly do.

category12 · 18/05/2024 23:08

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Aquamarine1029 · 18/05/2024 23:09

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💯

igomeow · 18/05/2024 23:11

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Yep, so dangerous!

heartbroken40 · 19/05/2024 04:15

Ok I will bite and answer your question

ONLY message him if you want a one night stand (at best). He's not interested in a relationship with you and doesn't even want just sex. But if you insist, he will sleep with you

As for putting your daughter at risk, I am absolutely speechless. No it's not what you asked but introducing a stranger in your household while your daughter sleeps in the next room is absolutely reckless. Clearly dick is more important to you than your flesh and blood but listen to experienced mumsnetters. There are good men and there are bad men. We don't know and you don't know who this guy is, so you need to assume he's a bad man and poses a danger for your DD

Shiningout · 19/05/2024 06:04

Nattydred · 18/05/2024 23:03

Negative nancy I didn't come here to talk about my decision to let him into my home. I came to ask if I should text him or not. If you have nothing to say about that then 🤐

Are you for real???? 🤔🙄🙄

AutumnCrow · 19/05/2024 06:09

Crikey, I thought she’d be at her dad’s.

NetMum2 · 19/05/2024 07:03

I think your message comes across a bit needy and will make you look desperate, especially since you’ve only met once to go for a walk. I agree with a previous poster, if he replies he’ll give you some excuse, you’ll have meaningless sex and then be even more irritated the next time he ghosts you.

Also, I personally don’t think 2 hours is that far when you’re in the exciting dating phase. You could meet someone half way for dinner or even a picnic on a sunny day during the week, or he could come up for the day on the weekend and not need to stay over…

alrightluv · 19/05/2024 07:12

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pictoosh · 19/05/2024 07:12

No I wouldn't text that. It is too revealing of your investment in him despite him being a virtual stranger.

NetMum2 · 19/05/2024 07:25

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Is that in response to my message..?

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