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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I ruined a good relationship

54 replies

JamSandle · 18/05/2024 20:20

I don't want to go into much detail on the relationship but I ruined the healthiest relationship I've ever had. I did it intentionally (self sabotage and self destruction) and now that it's over, I feel absolutely broken. It's all my fault it ended. And I'm so sad that after being treated so badly by men, I have treated the one guy who was amazing to me so badly.

How can I move forward from this?

OP posts:
Original poster
JamSandle · 21/05/2024 08:53

Wooloohooloo · 20/05/2024 22:44

OP you're never going to heal if you don't forgive yourself. You're not a bad person, you made mistakes. Forgive yourself and commit to sorting yourself out so you don't behave the same in future relationships. Write your ex an apology letter (don't send) and say whatever it is you want to say then commit to healing yourself.

Thank you for your kind post. I had therapy yesterday and am booked in for next week and the week after.

OP posts:
Littlestminnow · 21/05/2024 09:01

OP, you don't give any detail, but you say you emotionally cheated. I just want to say that women are are with genuinely wonderful men tend not to get romantically involved with other people. Why would they? I suspect you're idealising your relationship now it's over.

Original poster
JamSandle · 21/05/2024 09:53

Littlestminnow · 21/05/2024 09:01

OP, you don't give any detail, but you say you emotionally cheated. I just want to say that women are are with genuinely wonderful men tend not to get romantically involved with other people. Why would they? I suspect you're idealising your relationship now it's over.

He really was a wonderful guy. He had had a hard year (not things that were his fault) but he truly was a wonderful partner. The best I've had.

OP posts:
Littlestminnow · 21/05/2024 11:20

JamSandle · 21/05/2024 09:53

He really was a wonderful guy. He had had a hard year (not things that were his fault) but he truly was a wonderful partner. The best I've had.

Show quote history

So why did you emotionally cheat on him then? Genuinely curious.

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